Manipulation Tactics’ Hidden Powers
There’s hidden power in manipulation tactics. That’s just one reason why the tactics are so effective. The tactics are inherently powerful persuasion tools, which is why manipulators use them. But the persuasive power behind them eludes easy detection.
Because the power behind manipulation tactics isn’t easy to see, it’s important to understand personality, character, and the ways some folks operate in this world. Once you know certain people are, and how they generally operate, it’s easier to discern what they’re probably up to when they engage in their tactics with you.
Exposing the manipulative characters among us for who they really are is mainly why I wrote In Sheep’s Clothing.
I also wrote it to expose the most common tactics manipulators like to use. Once the bad actors and their tactics are exposed for who and what they are, the once hidden power loses its punch.
See also the series on manipulation tactics.
Knowing What to Do and Say
Knowing what to do and say is the key to power whether you’re a manipulator or a potential victim. Manipulators gain advantage over you by knowing what makes you tick. So, they know just what tactics to use to play on your sympathies or create doubt in you. But you gain power back when you know who they are and what they’re up to. You gain even more power by knowing what to say and do in response to their tactics. Actually, the less you say, the better. Too many folks erroneously believe what traditional psychology told them: mainly that manipulators don’t really know what they’re doing. That’s why victims often waste time and breath trying to get their abusive partners to “see” what they already see.
The key to empowerment in manipulative situations is in the doing, not the saying. Dismissing the tactics as just that: stealthy attempts to get you to cave-in or knuckle-under, and then standing firmly on principles of respectful conduct is where the power is.
A Particularly Stealthy Hidden Power
The hidden power in one particular tactic is not something I talk about often. In fact, the tactic to which I refer is really a megatactic or enhancement technique. It involves repeating something over and over again and/or with intensity to increase a tactic’s gaslighting effect. And I’ll have more to say about this in another post.
I just finished reading, “In Sheep’s Clothing,” today. I checked it out of our public library but I just ordered myself a copy on Amazon because I want to be able to reference it. I learned so much and I’m so thankful to see through a lot of what I have never understood about the manipulator in my life. I tolerate being ignored and disrespected and have my work to do. I have tolerated excuses for so long and it was so refreshing to be reminded that I don’t need to listen to excuses, among lots of other tactics to be aware of when communicating with them. I can’t say enough good things about this book. It should be on every Pastoral, Counselor, Social Worker’s bookshelf and parents too.
I just re read your post about Manipulators. It is so helpful to me to re read past posts as it really puts the spot light on the aggressors past and present in my life.
It literally reveals them to me again and it confirms that their crazy making ways are literally going down the drain with me.
I definitely am mastering the no fight technique with them and the funny thing is, when we get together with some we cannot refuse right now, they seem to be at a loss and at times uncomfortable!
Your advice is working Dr. Simon!