Forgiveness in the absence of repentance is not only unwise but also dangerous.
Sentiment never stripped anyone of their character defects. It takes a lot of concerted effort to overcome our shortcomings. The truly contrite individual works to make amends, to do better, and above all, to be better.
Rather than openly assert power over you, covert-aggressors use subtle tactics that not only blind you to their real nature and self-serving agendas but also have the power to bring you to submission and control you.
By nature aggression that is covertly expressed is hard to detect, especially when you don’t know what to look for.
In sound cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), the focus is always on behavior and in the here-and-now.
Legitimate, genuine, potentially lasting change – always manifests itself in the here-and-now moment.
The truly contrite individual works to make amends, to do better, and above all, to be better.
Traditional frameworks can be not only ineffective but also frighteningly enabling sometimes when it comes to understanding and dealing with character dysfunction.
2012 was a banner year for consultations. And I owe a big “thank you” to everyone who contacted me. I can truly say that I got as much if not more out of the experience than I trust those with whom I visited did.
Are you always asking yourself: “What in the world were they thinking?” when you witness the seemingly irrational behavior of disturbed characters in your life? And do you ever wonder if they really believe what they’re saying when they tell you what they were thinking?