We’re naturally drawn to attractive traits like charm, charisma, and likeability. But mistaking these traits for character is dangerous.
As I’ve asserted in countless workshops: “Internalization of a prohibition is essentially an act of submission.” Narcissists see no need for that. And aggressive personalities fight tooth and nail against it.
Folks whose ways of seeing and doing things are so toxic that they’re rightfully considered “character-disordered” always cause big problems in relationships. And presently, the prognosis for change is extremely poor for the significantly disordered. There’s more hope for the mildly disturbed character, but the motivation and mode of intervention have to be just right!
While someone’s amiability might be what attracts you, their integrity of character will largely determine whether your relationship lasts.
It’s harder than ever to adequately define personality and character-related pathology because the spectrum of dysfuntion has become so broad, varied, and normalized.
Personality disorders are harder to define these days because behaviors once considered outside the norm are the new norm.
Character integrity is the degree to which we commit ourselves to important principles and upright conduct.
Narcissism comes in many forms. And aggressive narcissists create the biggest relationship problems.
Likeability is a highly attractive personality trait. But just being likeable doesn’t make a person a decent character.
Personality and Character Disorders are as difficult to understand as they are to deal with.