Personal empowerment is largely about appreciating how different looking good is from being good. It’s also about recognizing and understanding the wide spectrum of character disturbance we experience these days and how to deal with it.
Wants and needs are not the same things. And sometimes what we crave, no matter how badly, is the last thing we truly need.
Gaslighting victims feel so much more alone and self-doubting when they find themselves among a sea of folks who view the disturbed character differently.
Relationship deception is one of the major reasons marriages and other intimate arrangements fall apart or end in heartbreak.
While character disturbance is widepread, it occurs along spectra of both type and degree. Not every empathy-impaired person is a psychopath. And not all folks with narcissistic traits and tendencies are the same. Getting the right information and finding the right help can be a real challenge.
To become empowered partners in abusive relationships have to see through their manipulator’s tactics, knowing in their heart how to distinguish a victim from a victimizer.
You may catch a narcissist in a falsehood. But they always seem to have an answer. They’ll twist the facts until the facts fit their narrative. Then they’ll claim the facts prove they they were right all along.
How we see ourselves matters. And how we behave toward ourselves matters even more. Healthy self-regard defines the evolved character. And unhealthy self-regard is the hallmark of character disturbance.
Deceit is the hallmark trait of manipulative characters. And there are many ways to deceive. Some disturbed characters are so skilled in the subtlest forms of lying that they have raised it nearly to an art form.
Manipulators and other disturbed characters are adept at playing the blame game. But when someone makes the injurious choice, it’s strictly on them. Thy may point the finger elsewhere and try to justify. But you empower yourself when you refuse to take on someone else’s rightful burden.