To become empowered partners in abusive relationships have to see through their manipulator’s tactics, knowing in their heart how to distinguish a victim from a victimizer.
Blaming others is not unconscious defense. It’s a conscious tactic to throw you on the defensive while refusing to internalize a behavioral norm.
Our high capacity to learn distinguishes us humans. And even some character-impaired individuals can choose to grow. But no new learning takes deep root without reinforcement.
Covert narcissists gaslight their children in many ways. And this does great psychological damage, often leading to a lifetime of self-doubt.
Unconscious denial is nature’s defense against unbearable pain. But some denial is tactical – a way to be irresponsible while not looking so bad. To have reverence for the truth and for human dignity, each type must be confronted differently.
The main key to self-empowerment is simple: keep your attention, time, and energy focused where you have power.
Covert aggressors use manipulation tactics to get their way. They fight in subtle and underhanded ways. And they know how to look good without being good.
Manipulators and other disturbed characters are adept at playing the blame game. But when someone makes the injurious choice, it’s strictly on them. Thy may point the finger elsewhere and try to justify. But you empower yourself when you refuse to take on someone else’s rightful burden.
Manipulators like engaging in evasion and diversion because these tactics keep the spotlight off their behavior. There artful dance around the issues can help them stay one step ahead of you. That’s why it’s so important to confront their tactics head-on.
Some people fight in very surreptitious ways. The covert maneuvers they employ are effective. They throw others on the defensive while cloaking aggressive intent. You might suspect something is up but end up doubting yourself. You might even question your sanity. To restore your sanity you have to trust your gut.