It’s an unfortunate reality that when character disturbances either fail to be recognized or are improperly labeled as something else, the problems associated with those disturbances can be “enabled” to continue or even worsen.
What most people really mean when they (therapists and lay persons alike) say that there’s no real hope for personality and character-impaired individuals is that they’ve tried traditional approaches only to have experienced the truly frustrating results.
Trying too hard to get the other person to understand inevitably leads those in relationships with responsibility-deficient characters to feel angry, frustrated, and ultimately depressed and defeated.