Changing the way someone thinks about things will necessarily affect the way they act.
Are you always asking yourself: “What in the world were they thinking?” when you witness the seemingly irrational behavior of disturbed characters in your life? And do you ever wonder if they really believe what they’re saying when they tell you what they were thinking?
Many of the things we were taught to view as defensive behaviors are more rightfully viewed as habitual responsibility-avoidance behaviors and tactics of impression management, manipulation, and control.
Impression management is manipulation for the primary purpose of getting someone to form and hold a favorable impression of your character, as opposed revealing the kind of person you really are.
There are literally hundreds of reasons why someone would disguise their real personality or intentions besides feeling ashamed of themselves. And the fact that people who actually have the capacity for shame and guilt have a hard time imagining what those hundreds of other possibilities might be is a testament to their own good character.
Our preconceptions about human nature, most of which have been endorsed or promoted by traditional psychological schools of thought, are actually our worst enemies when it comes to understanding the disturbed characters among us.
It can be really frustrating to find a counselor or therapist who truly understands and can help you deal with the disturbed character in your life.
Trying too hard to get the other person to understand inevitably leads those in relationships with responsibility-deficient characters to feel angry, frustrated, and ultimately depressed and defeated.
Disordered characters are prone to seeing things as they want to see them, not as they are.
Disordered characters use the tactic of minimizing to manage the impression others have of them. It’s a way to manipulate others into thinking they’re not so bad despite the horrible things they’ve done.