Abusive relationship partners are often relentless. They hate to miss an opportunity to denigrate and dominate. And over time, their victims can begin to see themselves in the same negative way their abusers cast them.
A narcissist can be of the “vulnerable” or “neurotic” type (see also Two Main Varieties of Narcissists). Such inwardly insecure characters crave love and affirmation and seek it by trying to prove their exceptionality. But in our age it’s more common for a narcissist to be of the “grandiose” or character-disturbed variety and such characters are … Continue reading Grandiose Narcissists and Shattered Illusions
Recovering from an involvement with a disturbed or disordered character is almost always a substantially unpleasant experience. But much good can come from the ordeal if one is both self-forgiving and affiming enough to be open to the learning to be had.
Rather than openly assert power over you, covert-aggressors use subtle tactics that not only blind you to their real nature and self-serving agendas but also have the power to bring you to submission and control you.
Human aggression is most often manifested in the unscrupulous and undisciplined will to power.
By nature aggression that is covertly expressed is hard to detect, especially when you don’t know what to look for.
Neither party in an abusive relationship ever finds the motivation to change the status quo unless the principles of responsible behavior take precedence over “understanding.”
When the disturbed character wants something, he doesn’t necessarily think about whether it’s right, good, or legal — or whether his pursuit of it might adversely affect anyone. He only cares that he wants it. His incessant concern for himself and the things that he desires creates a pattern of thinking which embodies an attitude of indifference to the rights, needs, wants, and expectations of others.
People often get manipulated because they misjudge the character of their manipulator. We have a tendency to want to see everyone else as basically pretty much like us. We want to think that they think the same way, care about the same things, and feel the same way we do. But individuals with disturbed characters … Continue reading Neurotic vs. Character Disorder? Criterion Three – Guilt
Unlike passive-aggression, covert-aggression is very active, albeit carefully veiled or subtle aggression, and it’s generally the culprit in manipulative behavior.