For some disturbed characters “thinking makes it so.” In other words, reality or truth is what they say it is.
Thinking before acting is a good thing. It’s one mark of character maturity. But what we think and how we think matters even more.
Mistaking interest for regard is all too common these days. It’s how folks with high hopes at the beginning of a relationship sadly later find themselves exploited and abused.
When it comes to relationships with disturbed characters, knowing why you feel helpless, and redirecting your attention and energy where you truly have power changes the whole game.
Healthy Relationships Healthy relationships are a rare commodity these days. Relationships can begin with a bang, then quickly lose their appeal. Some relationships that initially seem so harmonious somehow eventually become contentious. Relationships born of great passion and fervor can become dull or devoid of energy. And even relationships that seem founded on positive regard … Continue reading Healthy Relationships Require Genuine Regard
How we see ourselves matters. And how we behave toward ourselves matters even more. Healthy self-regard defines the evolved character. And unhealthy self-regard is the hallmark of character disturbance.
Sincerity of heart and purpose means harboring no hidden agendas. Sincere folks don’t try to get things in a slimy, underhanded, or undeserving way. They’re as true to themselves as they are authentic to others.
Revering truth is crucial to character. To have healthy intimate relationships, we have to be honest and sincere with others. And to be psychologically and spiritually healthy, we have to be honest with ourselves.
Some habitual liars are called “pathological” liars because they lie for no apparent reason. They lie even at times when the truth would suffice or serve them better. Some have regarded such senseless lying as a kind of mental illness or even insanity. But these liars are not insane. Rather, they belong to a group of the most severely disordered characters among us (i.e. psychopaths, sociopaths, etc.), and they’re perfectly rational. There’s a “method” to their apparent “madness.”
Defining the problem, its cause, and what needs to be done to correct it is what therapeutic confrontation is all about.