We’re naturally drawn to attractive traits like charm, charisma, and likeability. But mistaking these traits for character is dangerous.
Character integrity is the degree to which we commit ourselves to important principles and upright conduct.
Likeability is a highly attractive personality trait. But just being likeable doesn’t make a person a decent character.
Personality and Character Disorders are as difficult to understand as they are to deal with.
Social mores and customs have loosened up considerably. Folks are not as repressed as they once were. They have less unreasonable guilt and shame about relatively inconsequential things and are therefore less “neurotic.” But we’ve paid a dear price for the “whatever feels right for you” relativism that’s replaced our older respectability norms. And we don’t have as clear a sense of decency and civility as we once had.
Behaving in a decent and civil manner doesn’t mean we have to allow ourselves to be taken advantage of or abused. It just means we don’t have to act like we believe we’ve been treated. Rather, we should act like we would want to be treated.