Character-impaired folks inevitably use and abuse others. And the more they lack conscience and empathy, the more seriously they’re likely to use and abuse.
A person who’s been converted doesn’t relate the way they used to. Their whole manner of seeing and doing is different. It’s an observable change. And one that’s consistent over time.
Folks devoid of empathy will hurt you without compunction. They might regret certain consequences, but they rarely experience genuine remorse or contrition. How someone acts when they’ve hurt you tells all you really need to know about their character.
You have to have some decency of character to make a relationship work. But there’s also nothing more powerfully character-building than a truly loving relationship.
The most severely disordered characters among us are not the “hot-headed” types who sometimes let their passions get the better of them and do things they might sometimes later regret but rather the “cold-hearted” sorts who chronically and ruthelessly try to get the better of others.