Shame can be certainly be a bad thing. And some shame is truly toxic. But in our days of rampant character dysfunction, shamelessness is a much bigger problem than too much shame. The most disturbed characters among us are the most shameless.
Letting our appetites, aversions, and impulses drive us costs us plenty. We can feel pretty good in moments. But low points inevitably follow. In the process of riding that roller coaster, our soul begins to die. Mindfulness is key to purposeful living. At any given moment we have a choice. We can allow baser inclinations to rule. Or, we can put ourselves squarely at the service of a higher cause. Fully and freely turning ourselves over to something bigger is liberating. Free from the slavery of what usually drives us, we begin to live purposefully and abundantly.
Crazy-makers employ a slew of subtle tactics to make you doubt. And the more charming, polished, and convincing they are at this, the more unsure and crazy they can make you feel.
Narcissistic Manipulation – Who’s Vulnerable? Anyone can succumb to a narcissist’s charm. Some narcissists possess great impression-management skill. But some personality types are particularly vulnerable to narcissistic manipulation. And research has confirmed that two personality traits make all the difference. All my books address the issue of vulnerability to narcissistic manipulation. And my book In … Continue reading Personalities Prone to Narcissistic Manipulation
Aggressors can easily have you emotionally on the run. But you gain power when you hold ground. The best way to do that is to keep emotion out of things and judge and deal with behavior only.
Manipulators come in two main varieties. Most are covert-aggressors who carefully cloak their true intentions. But some others are more overt in their ways. They rely on a different strategy. But both types count on one thing to get their way: the characteristics of their targets.
Sometimes it’s the most decent things about us – things that it would behoove us never to change – that make us vulnerable to the most character-impaired.
Neurotics want to do the right thing and for things to go well as a result. They take it hard and are perhaps too quick to engage in self-reproach when things go wrong. Disordered characters, on the other hand, tend to take adversity in stride and blame everyone and everything else when bad things happen, even when those things really stem from their own actions.
Covert-aggression is at the heart of most interpersonal manipulation. What the artful, subtle fighter knows is that if they can get you to doubt yourself, explain yourself, and question your judgment, there’s a good chance they can get you to back down, back-off, or better still, cave-in.