Surviving Narcissistic Relationship Partners

The Scourge of our Times

Surviving narcissistic relationship partners requires special knowledge and, often, special help. The fact that narcissism and other character disturbances plague so many relationships is the scourge of our times. Sound societies are built on sound relationships. So, it doesn’t take long for a society full of dysfunctional relationships to become dysfunctional itself.

As I’ve mentioned in many articles and in all my books, the fact that there are so many narcissitic relationship partners out there making big problems for society is bad enough. Sadly, the reverse is also true. That is, a dysfunctional narcisissm-fostering society naturally produces more narcissitic and other character-impaired relationship partners. This makes cultivating a healthy, wholesome relationship more challenging than ever.

A Big Problem For Counselors

As mentioned earlier, surviving narcissisitic relationship partners often requires specialized help. The right kind of help demands accessing the right knowledge – not only for the survivor but also for the therapist. Sadly, there’s a lot of indequate, inaccurate, only partly true, and outright erroneous information out there these days, especially about narcissism. And all too many times survivors experience iatrogenic or “therapy-induced trauma” when they go for help. Being made to feel partly to blame or witnessing a counselor fail to “get it” when it comes to a character-impaired partner and their tactics not only traumatizes but also can foster depression and a sense of hopelessness.

Some Counselors “Get It” and Get the Counseling Right, Too!

More and more professionals have come to appreciate that helping survivors of narcissistic relationship partners requires a unique approach. I’d like to think that my work has at least helped make this possible to some degree. And recently, I had the opportunity to talk with a therapist who understands the issues and the proper approach. We had an interesting conversation that I thought you might well want to hear. So, I’ve posted the Love Evolved podcast with Leigh-Anne LoPinto on my YouTube channel.

I’ll have some announcements soon about an upcoming Live airing of Character Matters as well as the placing of prior and new podcasts on the major podcast platforms.

5 thoughts on “Surviving Narcissistic Relationship Partners

  1. Yes, there are so many “counselors” out there who flat out don’t have a clue how to help either party in a bad relationship. A friend once told me the counselor told her to lose weight and start going to the gym to help correct his infidelity problem. IMO that is abuse.
    Another friend told me her counselor said lets just pretend your husband is telling the truth, what would that look like? Huh? There was severe abuse going on in her marriage.
    Another friend told me years ago, her mother said go home and take care of your family when she discovered her new husband running around with another girl, underage girl at that!!!!
    Who can you trust these days?
    Thankfully, Dr. Simon has proven time and again he is definitely a trustworthy counselor!!! His advice has helped to unravel the tangled web of narcissists lies in my family. None of us are perfect by any means but we are for the most part trying to tell ourselves the truth!
    Thank you again Dr. Simon, I thank God for you often!

  2. Through the help of the information Dr. Simon has made available on this site, I survived the nasty, agonizing destruction of my life during the pendency of divorcing my X. And I struggled badly. The abuse of which the X created in court, emotionally, financially was at times unbearable. No counselor would have given me the education and advice that I obtained on this site. And the regular posters, who have experiences of their own, their tips, stories, were what got me through.
    Those of us that have gone through, still going through, the aftermath of dealings with a narc have got loads of advice to help each other.

    1. Lucy,
      I am very happy for you to have found Dr. Simons advice when you were going through the pain of divorce. I too have gone through extreme pain with my children and many many loved ones in my family.
      I have stuck it out with my immediate family with Dr. Simons help.
      With my 6 siblings I felt the need to forgo those relationships and end them. I had helped 5 of my siblings during decades of trauma they endured, some living with me and my family, some of my nieces and nephews. How did they pay me back?
      No support and even worse, when it was my child causing extreme pain and separation, gaslighting us still to this day 12 yrs later they ridiculed me and laughed like hyenas. One of them who I always stood by when no one in the family did, not only didn’t show up for me but suddenly was best friends with the siblings she always hated behind their back for not giving, giving, giving.

      She even then tried to use her kids to try and rob us and much worse. It’s been over for awhile now. Haven’t seen them since 2013. Went NO CONTACT completely. Blocked everyone of them. One of them thought it funny to group text me for Christmas invite, since no one else could. Got a new phone and was able to block him as well.
      He was the biggest hypocrite of them all, sadly.
      I am at peace with my decision as when I was 15 and pregnant they all ignored me at my dads request. I served them all and that season is over. I am still growing spiritually my relationship with God has seen better days but I know He loves me…no gaslighting there!!!
      I hope you are doing well, with the help you have found with Dr. Simon. If you ever need a friend to hash something out message me!
      Sincere hopes and prayers for your peace!

  3. The best support and guidance I have received has come from this site and domestic violence hotlines. Oh, and I almost forgot, the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft.

    In my experience, therapy has mostly increased my suffering and gave me terrible suggestions. I wonder if my daughter would have a better chance if I had better guidance in how to respond to her.

  4. Priscilla,
    I’m so sorry for what you had to endure for so long with so many family members. No contact is the only way in dealing with some folks. We give people chance after chance after chance, thinking they can’t possibly be that bad . . . . but yes, they are.
    It’s sick that grown adults find pleasure in badgering another. Sickening.
    I am doing well. Really paying attention to the quality of people I had let into my circle. Have ended many “friendships” who weren’t friends at all. I’m trying hard to change my ways of letting people enter my life. I need to slow it down and really see what their character is before I let them in. I’m getting better at it, having such less tolerance .
    I’m seeing damaged character in my daughter who is an adult. It’s very distressing. I watch her use different methods of manipulation and am so disappointed. So all I can do is have less contact with her, only what’s necessary. I have to keep the relationship going to stay close to my grandson, who is my everything.

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