Sound Character Requires a Balanced Ego

Ego and Character

To be of solid character, you need a healthy, balanced ego. But cultivating such an ego neither an easy nor simple task. To achieve it, many crucial life lessons and principles have to be learned and embraced. I call these lessons and principles the 10 Commandments of character. I first introduced them in my book Character Disturbance, and I expand upon them greatly in Essentials for the Journey. You can also find several articles on them here on the blog. (See, for example: Nurturing Good Character: The “10 Commandments”.)

We need our egos to navigate a challenging, difficult, and often hostile world. But a poorly formed ego can cause us and the world lots of trouble. If our ego is too weak, we’re too ripe for exploitation by those with stronger egos. And if we’re too meek in our sense of self-worth we’re at risk for abuse at the hands of those who regard themselves too highly. Balance is the key. We need an ego neither too weak nor too forceful and neither too meek nor grandiose. In short, we need a healthy, balanced sense of self and self-worth. And for some cultivating such a sense is the task of a lifetime.

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Steps along the Way

As mentioned above some crucial character developmental steps necessarily precede one’s development of a healthy, balanced ego. The healthiest ego is one that has progressed beyond mere self-interest. It is one volutarily placed in the service of the greater good. But to put oneself in the service of something bigger one must first come to see the bigger picture. That’s the “first commandment” of sound character. And once you overcome the natural tendency to see yourself and your needs at the center of things and see the bigger picture, you have to develop the heart to put yourself at the service of that larger reality. Doing that requires the mastery and embrace of many other principles.

A Paradoxical Final Step

It’s more than paradoxical that to evolve fully spiritually, one must surrender ego altogether. Still, that’s the ultimate spirtual goal: death to one’s smaller and often false self to claim the bigger, truer, divinely-connected self. But for most of life, our major task is to navigate situations and relationships with a balanced ego – a healthy sense of who we are and what we’re worth. And on the latest edition of Character Matters, I’ve begun a discussion of these very issues.

A Special Event

I’m being interviewed at the upcoming Inner Champion Summit! And you’re invited!

This is a free live online 1-day event.

This summit is about helping you be a champion in your life, using inner strengths to transform your life into a triumph.

I’m excited to help with this! Come check out my interview and the interviews Accolon Hollingsworth (he’s the host) has lined up to inspire you.

Be prepared to do more than be inspired though. We’re handing out tools, and guidance that is coming from our life experience and training. You can take your summit inspirations and make them real in your life.

By the way, this unique team of expert inner champions includes Tedx speakers, best-selling authors, and martial arts experts. Use this link to register so you can join us at this FREE event.


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