A Sincere Heart is a Humble Heart

The Nature of a Humble Heart

What does it mean to be of humble heart? And why is humility so important to character? The tenth “commandment” of sound character exhorts us to be of sincere heart and purpose. But to be of sincere heart, one must first be of humble heart. So what does this mean?

Jesus reportedly asserted that the “poor in spirit” are “blessed.” But a more accurate rendering of this “beatitude” (literally: “happiness”) is that the untethered soul is the soul most truly alive. In our insecurity and in our egos, we often burden ourselves with empty attachments. And we place our trust in the wrong things. We think enough money will buy us safety. We believe if we follow the rules, we’ll be rewarded. Sometimes, we even place our faith in other people, trusting them with our hearts. And this can easily lead so often leads to heartbreak. You have to be willing to leave your belongings behind to lead a life of joy.

Revisiting the “Second Commandment”

The second “commandment” is to be grateful. But to be grateful we have to overcome our sense of entitlement. And that’s really difficult to do in our age of massive entitlement. But, as mentioned before, the commandments work together. You can’t embrace one without understanding and embracing the others. So you can’t embrace the notion of humble living unless you’ve found it in your heart to be truly grateful. (See also: Commandment 2: Humble Gratitude)

The Path to Integrity

Each and every moment of our lives is an unearned gift. And it’s up to us to make every moment count. So, how do we do that? By living each moment mindfully. And by that I mean in communion with the larger reality that connects us all. That reality exists and is present whether we recognize it or not. Some call it God. Others call it the “greater good.” Still others call it a “higher power.” We’ve given it many different names. But whatever you call it, it’s the one reality the narcissists among us refuse to even recognize let alone serve. Truly noble characters place all their trust in that reality, and not in themselves or anyone or anything else. So, ultimately, it’s faith in that reality the provides the path to integrity.

Tune in to Character Matters this Sunday evening at 7 pm Eastern. The show is live, so call in at (718) 717-8296 to join the conversation. I’ll be talking again about malignant narcissism.

Read more on these and related topics in my books and other articles.


7 thoughts on “A Sincere Heart is a Humble Heart

  1. I am working on this but find feeling sick leaves me feeling disconnected and numb. That sweet spot like a caramel nougat centre, hardens a bit. It’s difficult to be a lovely person, moment by moment, when you feel like a stale candy bar!

    I try to minimize negative interactions though, out of a sense of duty to myself and others, when I am housebound. And I am always helping people, when I can,who have it worse. It is such a great feeling to know that even though I have no physical energy, I can still effect the lives of those who enter my sphere, in a big way. I have to live somewhat vicariously through them, so their joy becomes my own.

    I think of the personality disordered and how much they are missing out on. They lack a sweet spot altogether. They experience excitement and stimulation, as do rats, but deep joy? Probably never.

    1. LisaO,

      I know exactly how you feel, I have down days where I barely can take care of my most basic needs. I was just read about turmeric in the middle of the night I hurt so.

      Last night I got a call, my Sis is in the hospital. The doctors aren’t re sure what is exactly going on with her. She is having problems breathing and is on a nebuliser and when they take her off it her oxygen level drops dangerously low. I asked for her to be seen by a pulmonary specialist.

      The main point in all this is, each of the hospital admissions my Sis may need to be resuscitated, medical terminology Code Red. Each time the doctors ask me, “what protocol do you want us to follow?” The burden to choose life support measures or to let my Sis die. I would rather term it :
      Letting nature take its course and Sis goes home to God.

      It is a profound experience, and yes it is “”having the power over life or death>”” I imagine this is the ultimate position the CDNSP likes to be in.

      However, I find at times like this, I am being drained of part my being, the sheer, naked reality you hold another persons life in your hands. I feel it an honor that my Sis trusts me so. It is difficult, so very difficult each time Sis goes into the hospital to be called and have to give the final say over her life.

      All I can say is, I pray to God for his direction and mercy, I pray if it is her time for Jesus to take Sis home, Sis will be enfolded in the wings of an angel. I am deeply humbled.

      LisaO, I have dealt with chronic pain for years and know how it can take one into the depths of despair. Especially, difficult is when others don’t understand it. At times we can feel so alone with our burden. LisaO, if you ever feel you need to talk please feel free to contact me via the back door. We are sisters and kindred spirits in all this and I feel you pain. Many times it exactly what we need, another who understands and feels your pain, to vocalize our grief and know another truly understands. Their is peace in sharing and the gift many times returned is the strength to go on.

      ((((Hugs)))) and blessings dear one.

      1. LisaO,

        Your post really touched me. Last night seeing my sister lying in the hospital bed sleeping, listening to her shallow raspy breathing brought tears to my eyes, realizing again how precious life is. All the years of our times and trials together flow through ones minds, flawlessly in a blink of an eye.

        The good times, bad times, trying times flying through your mind. But what really hits one in the face, is the realization of how much the person lying in the hospital bed possibly on the brink of death means to me. A loss that can never be replaced. In this realization lies the bare facts of the personal loss and grief I will carry. From the depths of my being I hold a hand of another and give all my energy, hoping it will give life to another.

        Through all this I must keep these feelings to myself. I must be strong and compartmentalize these feelings. I need to reserve all my energies to interact with the doctors and medical professionals to make sure every avenue is addressed in making sure Sis is adequately assessed and taken care of. It always makes a difference when a family member is present oversees the care.

        Take very good care and I am glad you posted. Always enjoy your point of view. Many times you shed on an angle I never thought of.

        When returning home, I was totally exhausted and drained, at times like this pain returns with vengeance. For whatever reason and I believe it is divine intervention, I fell into a deep restorative sleep. When one is enjoys this luxury the whole world different.

        I pray you have this sleep too, and your pain is lessened.

  2. My CDN has been like this in my life through the majority if not all of it: without contact, there is integrity on my part. A good analogy is a bull in a china shop during too much of my life.

    1. JC
      Life can be pretty sweet without contact of a CDN in it, or as little as possible. It’s not normal nor healthy to constantly deal with their negativity and drama. I’m glad you’re seeing the light!

  3. Like you guys said, it gets much better. As anything I learned from them, all I can do is make an amends, and a sincere one. This, and the genetics on my father’s side, this is what saved me.

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