Sadistic Aggressors
Sadistic aggressors are a unique type of aggresive personality. Like most aggressive personalities, they’re inherently narcissistic. And their narcissism is of the malignant type, rooted in a lack of empathy. Not capable of caring, they wantonly abuse others. But what’s different about these types is the pleasure they derive from victimizing.
See also:
- The Sadistic Aggressive Personality
- Demeaning as a Lifestyle: The Sadistic Aggressive
- Serious Abusers And Psychology’s Failure to Understand Them
Bullies By Any Other Name
Sadistic aggressors are your archetypal bullies. And for years there have been many misconceptions about what makes such people tick. That’s just one of the reasons I wrote Character Disturbance. I wanted folks to understand the real makeup of our most problematic personalities. And I wanted folks to know what really shapes them and motivates their behavior. My experience taught me that misconceptions about these folks only enhanced a victim’s vulnerability. So I wanted to put the truth of matters out there.
Sadistic aggressors don’t belittle, degrade, and torture because they’re actually cowards. Nor do they do these things because they’re inwardly insecure or lacking in self-esteem. The truth is that like all aggressive personalities, only one thing matters to them: position. (See also: Aggressive Personalities.) They crave and rabidly pursue the dominant position in any relationship. But in addition, they revel in the position, deriving great pleasure in feeling superior. Other aggressive personalities seek position and power as a means to various ends. But sadists do this purely for the thrill of it. They enjoy lording over others and feel entitled to do so. And the sense of power and control they derive is nearly intoxicating. Heartless as they are, it’s what they live for. They can’t really love and therefore can’t derive the pleasures that typically accompany love. So, they settle for the exhilaration of feeling on top.
Wrap Up
While it’s true that some sadistic aggressors may themselves have been victims, it’s a big mistake to assume this. And besides, whether someone was trained to be heartless or is inherently heartless makes little difference. Heartless, ruthless behavior is a problem – abig problem, no matter how it gets started. And it can never be excused or tolerated.
Sadly, in our desensitization regarding character dysfunction, we’ve enabled too many sadistic aggressors to thrive. And I’ll be once again talking about these and other related character matters in podcast form. Expect an announcement about the first release next week.
George,
Do you find that people are resistant to the idea of aggressive personality type?
I had someone tell me people never play the victim to manipulate.
I was like WTF?
I think he is an aggressive personalty type?
Also, with the push for equity and restorative displace, you do think aggressive personality types will use this to their advantage?
I do.
Abusers play victim to manipulate.
Abusers also falsely accuse their victims of playing victim.
One more question.
Is there any research on the % of the population with character disorders?
IME there are more sadistic aggressors than decent folk. Probably the great majority of the population is character disordered. Just look at the world around us and the people inhabiting it.
I’d be curious to see what percentage of the population still cares to be decent, caring, conscientious folk. I’d estimate it under 10 percent.
I know I feel very alone!!! All around me I have family trying to hurt me, demean me and belittle me.
My own grandkids are now being indoctrinated by their parents. They really think they have power through their sick and demented actions.
Sad they cannot get together and just love each other and feel loved?
I think it’s the opposite. 10% is bad. 10% is the magic number.
10% of 250 million is a lot of a-holes.
If your experiences lead you to estimate that 90 percent of folks are good, than you’ve lived a really great life. Lucky you. Perhaps you are also naive and willfully ignorant because stats say otherwise.
Look at the stats on child abuse, child sexual abuse, rape, sex trafficking/human trafficking, wife-beating, sexual harassment, greed, corporate greed, crime stats, poverty stats, the increasing inequality of society, as well as the increasing pornification of society, which you don’t suffer because you’re lucky enough to be a man, but women and girls pay for that. Look at the rates of cyberstalking, cyberbullying, cyberharassment, and revenge porn. Spycams, voyuerism, etc. All that is increasingly common. Women and children suffer. Girls and women pay the price. You’re a man, so your life probably hasn’t been affected. Perhaps you’re a victim of corporate greed and being exploited under capitalism, but that’s probably it.
Pornhub, those evil scum who profit from sex trafficking, rape, child rape, etc., get 115 million hits per day. Every day. Men are climaxing to rape tapes and becoming even more predatory and perverted every day. 115 million hits. And that is but one of millions of porn sites. The new get away with murdering women defense is to claim the rough sex defense where a man beats to death or strangles to death a poor woman and then when appropriately charged with murder he claims it was rough sex, not murder, and the dead woman wanted it. Increasingly, boys and men see strangulation as sexy and part of sex, even termed as breath play (strangulation). Men are cutting women, gang raping women and filming it and putting it online so half the world’s population can jerk off to some poor victim sobbing or frozen in fear, being raped and forced to say she likes it. Now, supposedly, even cannibalism is acceptable sexual practice and one is told to not kink shame. 100 years ago, there wouldn’t be widespread acceptance of cannibalism, now men are attempting to coerce women into removing ribs so the pervert men can get their cannibalism kink on.
Society is freefalling. Most of society is predatory, criminal, sadistic, abusers. That you haven’t been targeted, terrorized, raped, or trafficked is because you lucked out and are a man.
90 percent trash, evil people. Probably more than 90 percent.
You don’t hear about all the people in the world who actually just raise their families living quiet lives, or the ones who do good in the world. Those aren’t blasted all over the news. Ever wonder why God flooded the entire earth in Noah’s time? The times were very evil back then. Looks like with people’s rejection of God, God is giving them over to their vices. They prefer to go their own way and worship idols of their own making and so this is what happens, although I don’t believe it is anywhere near 90%, although it is getting progressively worse.
Yes I think 90% is high but I do agree the numbers are increasingly up.
I’ve often wondered this myself. It certainly does seem to be increasing rapidly. They seem to be getting outed and then no real repercussions, so it just emboldens them and others.
Also wonder how much has to do with awareness. Once we become more aware of things, the more we tend to see it. What you focus on expands.
Where you live and who’s around you I would imagine would influence your perceptions as well. I’ve experienced way more than my share in part because my family is full of them, and in part because I wasn’t aware enough of the tactics/manipulations to protect myself.
I’m needing some help! I am the victim of a group of people who are Gaslighting me. They use tech I am to help them, hacked my phone and my life! Needing help!
Yes I think you are very wrong about the numbers. For instance, did you ever feel like prey?
Before I ever had a boyfriend or much interest in boys at age 10/11 I would walk down the street a little grubby no make up girl and young men driving by would whistle at my sister and I and stick their tongues out at us in perversion.
That was in the 1970’s!!!
“Perhaps you are also naive and willfully ignorant because stats say otherwise.”
No need to attack or degrade in order to make your point.
I’m used to it. I’m a teacher.
90% just seems a little high to me.
But I could be naive.
@Gary Pollitt,
If you are naive then I appreciate your naivety. I don’t think in terms of percentages, I think in terms of experiences and I’ve had my share.
On another note.
As to what “Society is freefalling” is saying I have learned to censor her comments. They are dark and dreadful and without hope and I don’t ever need to go there.
Sorry for potentially attacking you in a degrading manner, Gary. I do think your profession may lend to your more optimistic view, or perhaps more optimists and idealists go into the teaching profession. And most males aren’t usually too keen on the horrors of being a woman in this misogyny filled world because they don’t endure it. It doesn’t get inflicted on them.
As a teacher, what do you think of John Taylor Gotto’s “Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling”?
D. may find me “dark and dreadful and without hope” but that’s her opinion.
How many people die each day from starvation? Nobody needs to be going hungry. It is but the greed of others that causes starvation. And when aid is sent to various countries, even with UN troops, they rape and molest and sexually assault the women and girls (especially girls) because it’s “hold still or starve” and most guys love those life-or-death power plays.
How many children are trafficked per day? How many women are trafficked per day?
How much slave labor occurs every day in this world? Dubai is almost entirely built by slave labor. Human trafficking is alive and well. And women and girls have it worse. Look at the booming surrogacy industry! Sex (rape) tourism, internet porn trafficking, rent-a-womb surrogacy, all on top of the unpaid household and emotional labor practically every woman alive does, just because she is a woman and men demand it and refuse to share in it.
A woman in Saudi Arabia was jailed for some 1,000 days or so for merely pushing for women to be allowed to drive and to escape the crushing oppression and tyranny of the male guardianship system. How about the number of “honor killings” that take place each year? What about FGM, which is now practiced in the USA, too?
How many seconds until another woman is beaten in the USA? In South Africa, a woman is murdered every three hours. And almost nothing is done about it.
Reality is dark and dreadful. All those victims matter. Those girls and women who are victimized are human beings. They matter. If D. wants to dismiss me as “dark and dreadful” that is her choice.
Kat and Gary may have a point in saying 90 is a little high. I take a look around, I look at the stats, and I reflect on my experiences out and about in the world and 80 seems a sensible minimum.
To Society is freefalling,
In no way am I dismissing you. I am not attacking you either, frankly you seem to be very reactive. As in “Perhaps you are also naive and willfully ignorant because stats say otherwise.” This to someone who made a comment.
I have a sensitive nature, it can be a curse and a blessing. I skim and filter images so that I don’t drag them around in my mind for days and weeks. By your comments it appears that you do not have this problem, so I am asking you what is your goal? What is the purpose of your descriptive comments? I would hazard a guess that most of us have been traumatized by a CD or many CDs, and so we know ugliness in the world.
I comfort myself by realizing that there are good people out there too. This may appear as oversimplified but I see goodness everyday in my community.
Again, I am asking what is your goal?
What are the goals to each of your comments?
Your comment, “but I see goodness everyday in my community” reminds me of those people who respond to comments about men’s violence and predation with a standard “not all men”.
Did I say the world was devoid of anything good and there was no goodness to be found anywhere?
If you see goodness everyday in your community, then you’re lucky and privileged. Or, you’re looking super hard for anything redeemable, so as to counter the negative and not feel so alarmed or saddened by the horrible world we live in today. Lots of people do that.
Victims of the things I mentioned don’t get the luxury of not carrying around the images with them. They live them. Perhaps if more people had to confront such things, they’d help change such, or at least not believe the world to be populated by an overwhelming majority of good people.
Gary suggested that only a mere 10 percent of people were a-holes. I mentioned some facts that may prompt Gary to reconsider his view of 90 percent of the population being good people.
“If you see goodness everyday in your community, then you’re lucky and privileged.”
One has to be lucky and privileged to witness goodness in their community? I can’t even be bothered to address this.
“Did I say the world was devoid of anything good and there was no goodness to be anywhere?” Your comments give me that opinion.
“Perhaps if more people had to confront such things, they’d help change such, ….”
Waving the reality flag appears to be keeping you in the mindset that average people aren’t doing good things to encourage change in this world, even on a community level. Maybe put that flag down for awhile, keep it out of the wind, and give yourself a break.
The qualifier of “everyday” and the impression of overriding goodness in your community are what makes it a lucky and privileged existence.
You don’t answer the very question you posed. What is your objective, D.? To paint me as unreasonable? What are your goals in commenting on this website?
Your comments about the supposed goodness of the hypothetical average person are unsupported. You might want to take off those rose-colored glasses that give you such hopefulness.
Mindful and kat seem to appreciate the points I make. Why wouldn’t you want to stay in reality? There’s no flag-waving here. What about those very real victims and their very real lives?
Let’s assume you are arguing and commenting here on this website in good faith. Let’s also assume you’ve been the victim of a CD person, an evil person who harmed you. When you spoke of said harms, did you want someone chiming in and saying how it’s so dreadful and negative, and her sensitivity dictates that she must censor such dark things and instead speak of all the supposed goodness she sees everyday in her community instead of acknowledging your victimization and the harms inflicted on you?
Defending the status quo because of sensitivity, or willful ignorance, or a desire to praise the imagined goodness in the hypothetical average person negates victims. My comments are valid. My observations are valid. If such is too dreadful for you to bear, than that’s the crappiness of this world, and your personal preferences, not my supposed badness in speaking of it.
Dr. Simon speaks of evil, harms inflicted, aggressors, predators, and this post deals with sadistic aggressors. My comments aren’t off-topic, as who do you imagine commits such crimes and offenses? Good people? The average person is not good. You arguing it, does not make it so.
Again, your general comments have the same flavor of those who chime in “not all men” whenever someone speaks of men’s violence against women. I did not say there is no goodness anywhere to be found. Why attempt to negate my comments by chiming in about the supposed goodness you see everyday in your community? Does that change material reality for victims? No.
Also, good for you, for being a teacher. Must be an extra challenging time for you.
Kind of off-topic,
Mindful and Kat, (and others)
Has anyone been alarmed by the TRA agenda? Now, in CA, and elsewhere, fully intact, convicted male criminals (rape, murder, and other violent crimes) are claiming to be women and being transferred into women’s prisons and are proceeding to rape, harass, intimidate, and terrorize the incarcerated women. Anyone male can claim to be a woman and be transferred without any prior medical records, use of medication, or surgeries. Male sex offenders are claiming to be women and getting new identities and claiming that anyone citing their prior name and its associated criminal record is deadnaming them and committing a hate crime against them.
Now breastfeeding is to be called “chestfeeding”.
Now pregnant women are to be called “pregnant people”.
Women are reduced to being “birthing parent” “menstrator” “owner of vagina” and breastmilk is now to be “human milk”.
Anyone else concerned with the erasure of women? Is this being taught in your school, Gary? Anyone else see the inherent dehumanization? Same with surrogacy being a rent-a-womb, birther.
The TRAs seem to be quite the violent group (typical male criminality and violence) with “throat punch a terf” and “die cis scum” and “kill a terf” and death threats and all sorts of things for anyone who questions anything about the TRA agenda and tactics.
Incarcerated women are already super vulnerable and now it is law in at least one state that if any male convict, no matter how violent, can declare himself to be a woman at any time, without hormones, pills, surgeries or anything at all, and be transferred into women’s prisons with incarcerated women already being raped (who would have thought?).
Is this narcissism? Sadistic aggressors? Psychopathy?
I’m really afraid for women and girls.
I was victimized by what I believe to be a sadistic psychopath at my previous job. He was at first very interested in me. He would small talk to me and get into debates about things. Then he started being controlling. He would take away things I was doing and ignore when I would tell him that I can do them, that I don’t need his help, etc. then he started talking about me behind my back. Then started criticizing how I did my job. A manager was present for this incident and didn’t do anything. The next day he accused me of telling him what to do because I was filling out the initials on a duties list that all the opening employees had to do anyway. He was talking to be disrespectfully and would cut me off whenever I tried telling him that I’m not trying to tell him what to do. Finally I had enough and called him a name. Immediately after, he was completely uninterested in talking with me anymore and went straight to the managers and probably filled their head with a bunch of information, they come back into the room and tell him that I shouldn’t be filling out the paper(even though they never specifically said anything about employees not filling the paper out prior to this). Basically they took it as a dispute about the paper when it was really just another incident in a line of incidents of controlling, demeaning, disrespectful behavior. The abuse just got worse after this. He would talk down to me and be disrespectful. You are completely right when you say that abuse from malignant narcissists is all about position. Once they get you in a specific position, they can abuse you more easily and discreetly.