Playing the Victim Goes Along with Blaming Others

Playing The Victim

Playing the victim is a favorite tactic of manipulators. (See pp. 127-128 in In Sheep’s Clothing.) And most time, the tactic goes hand-in-hand with blaming others. (See: Blaming Others Is Not a Defense but a Tactic.)

Relatively well-adjusted “neurotic” individuals hate to see anyone suffer. Moreover, they hate to think of themselves as the cause of someone’s suffering. Manipulators know this. So, manipulating a conscientious person is simple: act like a victim. And while you’re at it, cast the real victim as the victimizer. It’s a great 1-2 punch in the game of power and control.

Do They Really Believe What They’re Saying?

I’m asked all the time whether folks who cast themselves as victims really believe what they purport. And I always answer that most of the time, they don’t. But it all depends on two things: how much conscientiousness they have, and how capable they are of honest self-reckoning. More succinctly, it all depends on where they fall on the character disturbance spectrum. Still, it doesn’t really matter whether they believe what they assert or not. If they have any conscience at all, perhaps they can’t bear to admit the truth. Or, maybe they’ve lied to themselves so much and so often they’ve come to believe their lies. But again, it doesn’t matter. A wrong is still a wrong. And they have to be held accountable. Blaming another, and playing the victim role are insidious ways to avoid responsibility, be it conscious or unconscious.

See also:

A Most Egregious Example

I once interviewed a man who had committed a horrendous crime. He, along with two others, bludgeoned his victim. But he engaged in the most and worst of it. Still, when questioned about how he could do something so horrible, he expressed no remorse. Instead, he sought sympathy. He complained that memories of the event still intruded from time to time. And he lamented he’d have to live with them for the rest of his life. So, oddly, for a split second, I found myself tempted to feel a bit sorry for him. That’s what it is to have empathy.

This man’s history was a living testament to his lack of sensitivity and empathy. And he would go on to commit another heinous crime, again without apparent compunction. He was certainly not a victim, but he wanted to be seen as one. And he had brazenly created many true victims. His twisted way of thinking is typical of character-disordered people. (See: Seeing the World as They Want to See It: The Self-Deceptive Thinking of The Disturbed Character.)

Empowerment

Most examples of playing the victim aren’t as egregious as the one above. But the tactic can be effective, especially if done with artfulness. And it helps if the audience being played to is the typical “I just can’t stand to think of anyone suffering” type. Sadly, this type of situation plays out every day in abusive and/or dysfunctional relationships of all kinds.

Remember, most of the time, when the manipulator casts him/herself as a victim, they don’t really see themselves as victimized. They just really want you to see them as wounded, injured, or suffering in some way. They want to elicit sympathy as opposed to taking responsibility. And, they do it by clouding the picture about who the real victimizer and victim is. Directing the blame elsewhere is their companion tactic. And I’ll be talking about the tactic of “vilifying the victim” in an upcoming post.

To become truly empowered, one-time victims of abusive relationships have to see through their manipulator’s tactics. And that’s especially true of the tactic of playing the sympathy card. A key to empowerment is knowing in your heart how to distinguish a victim from a victimizer. (And it’s also knowing how to tell an offense (in all its sometimes subtle and covert forms) from a defense.)  Understanding the nature of Character Disturbance and knowing what to expect and how to respond is inherently empowering. And that’s exactly why I have written my books and publish these articles.

56 thoughts on “Playing the Victim Goes Along with Blaming Others

  1. Another good post. I appreciate reading these posts, in addition to the books. So much damage is done to people by listening and learning the nonsense that traditional psychology spouts.

    People are evil. Manipulative abusers don’t prey on innocents because they are suffering from wounded butterflies from some past trauma. They don’t sucker their victims into feeling sorry for them and feeling guilty (as they are made to feel and be the abuser, due to the lies and the brainwashing messages from the REAL abuser/deceiver/predator) because they are wounded ducklings or don’t know how to not be pathological. They are evil. It’s strategic, purposeful, intentional, and predatory.

    I hate abusers, manipulators, and all other predators. Criminal ilk. Scum. Devouring the few good, decent, neurotic (conscientious) people on this earth. Ruining their lives. Draining them dry. Smearing them to others. Creating an army of flying monkeys. Damaging and traumatizing them to the point of near death. Making them suffer so much that death is a mercy.

    Damn the evildoers of this world. I find psychology to be largely a fake science. I find Freud and his ilk to be abominable. Psychiatry is just as bad. Most all of it is woman-hating. Most all of it pathologizes the trauma responses of victimized, vulnerable people.

    At least Dr. Simon talks about evil. Even though he doesn’t say “evil” the messaging is at least different from the nonsense the general psychology/psychiatry usually spews.

    There’s this psychologist and professor on YouTube, “Psychology in Seattle” who, although compassionate, does not serve victims well because he too will watch clearly abusive, narcissistic, controlling, damaging behavior done to one, traumatizing that individual, and he’ll rationalize it out. It’ll be speculated that a person’s early childhood wounds were causing him to abuse the woman he is seeing. It’s nonsense.

    Thankfully Dr. Simon is willing to tell it more straight. There are abusers and there are neurotics (conscientious, caring folk). I had a monster who was great at the pity plays. He could do horrific things and then invite the victim to pity him and feel guilty for having caused him to victimize. It was all nonsense. Predators know they are lying. They don’t believe their lies. It’s a bunch of bull. They are tactical. They love nothing more than to make suckers out of people. Duping delight. The pity play is especially abominable because real victims are then not given support, empathy, or kindness but rather treated with suspicion and/or admonished to not have a “victim mentality” (which is another bunch of bull that is spewed at women and other disadvantaged, vulnerable persons), whereas the duping delight, lying predator manipulator has people feeling sympathy for him.

    I have heard it said about many criminals who escape much of any punishment by the judiciary that so-and-so will have to live with so-and-so has done and that will plague the person for the rest of their life. Nonsense. These predators don’t lose a wink of sleep over it. I loathe manipulators.

    Case in point: look at the Golden State killer. The serial rapist, serial killer who was a cop. He was charged and convicted based on DNA some decades later. The man sat in court, as pitiful looking as could be, as though senility had done him in, and yet when all was said and done and he was in his cell afterwards, you could see him spry as ever, climbing about to dust the tops of the light fixture, doing exercises, etc.

    No need to humanize manipulators. Sure they are human but they are predators. Abusers love to manipulate. They are not wounded, nor misguided, nor are they plagued by what they have done. They are predatory folk who are utilizing various coercive and underhanded tactics to accomplish their objectives.

    Save your compassion, sympathy, and empathy for real victims. Millions of girls and women around the world are sex slaves, being trafficked and raped on the regular. They deserve your compassion, energy, love, and concern. Not some abuser, criminal, man who is telling his well-crafted tale of woe of being supposedly wronged by the women of the world who didn’t love him enough, didn’t give him a chance, blah, blah, blah.

    I encourage all women and girls to stay away from men. Proceed with extreme caution. Men are manipulators. Most men are predators. Most men are woman abusers and even the ones who aren’t, they still benefit from the ones who are. Give your energy, love, support, and kindness to fellow girls, and fellow women. Don’t waste it on men, as they almost invariably turn out to be manipulative, predatory, abusers.

    1. “I encourage all women and girls to stay away from men.”

      hahahahahaha! and you think you don’t have a problem.

      Too far gone to be worth engaging.

      MEN BAD is not correct or balanced, moron. Men aren’t all evil. Clearly YOU are being abusive here.

      Most women are manipulative and abusng in a covert way. That is the truth.

        1. I am not a part of those groups. Another proof you tend to be wrong in your conclusions.

          Your radical feminism is 1) radical 2) biased and not factual. These are facts, not opinions. You are wrong is fact, not opinion. You lose.

          All men are abusers…do you think the same of Jesus? He was a man you know. Oh yeah, an abuser, and not a victim at all.

          What you think isn’t correct, it’s biased. As Nietzsche said, truth is nothing to women and you prove it. Observing reality as it is it’s just that. Women aren’t perfect is obvious fact.

          The greatest victim/s of history were MEN, like Jesus, Socrates, Tesla…countless of them. You know nothing of being a real victim, you know nothing of real pain. Women are protected and pampered by society. These are the facts. Women playing the victim is THE TITLE OF THIS ARTICLE. Go read the title.

          Playing the victim, blaming others…radical feminism does that certainly, and women are renowned for doing that. Nothing I wish more for a world where women stop doing that, for they certainly overdo it in general.

          You have no proof you are correct and no interest in being correct and in the truth. Only narcissism. Assessing them objectively without biased, the horrible truth is that the average woman is a narc.

          But you stay away from all men apparently so yeah no man will be a victim of your blaming in daily life and Jesus will stay away from you in eternity. ) Cause and effect.

          You do not understand history, life or existence. Anything else is your narcissistic delusion. Lol she thinks she understands life perfectly and has nothing to learn and a man cannot teach here anything. Lol mental.

          1. Your misogyny and male entitlement/arrogance are showing. Practically frothing at the mouth, are you? Stay away from women. Clearly, you hate them. Your comment reeks of sexism and misogyny. So, please, do stay away from females.

            Jesus is the Son of God. Blameless. Perfect. Holy. Think how he acted toward women and treated women. Compare and contrast that with your average guy today. The average male of today is a porn user, a misogynist, a woman abuser, and overall an abusive, violent creep.

            I cannot wait to spend eternity in heaven with Jesus. That will be most wonderful. No more misogynists. No more wife-beaters. No more porn-using perverts/woman-haters. No more pain. No more evildoers. No more abusers. It’s going to be amazing and so very wonderful.

          2. In my second paragraph, the “he” needs to be capitalized to “He” and should read “Think how He acted towards women and treated women.”

            Also, calling me “moron,” for example, causes me to suspect you might not even be an adult. Are you even 18?

            Please, given your espoused misogyny, lay off the porn, and stay far away from females, as girls and women deserve better.

          3. Jesus avoided women. Fact.

            Again, you don’t understand much about life. It has nothing to do with me hating women, which I don’t. You have the fantasy that all women are victims and not evil. You think someone who simply knows women can be evil and aren’t always the victims, and can perfectly play the victim as also a man can, you think that’s misogyny.

            You are the man hater and the one who is biased and with the problem. Knowing women aren’t perfect holy creatures is not a crime and is not wrong. It’s normality.

            And moron isn’t a word only 18 yo use. You’re incredibly stupid. Oh, misogyny! I think a woman can be stupid, how dare I!

            I think you can be wrong! So arrogant.

            YOU ARE NARC. You think you can’t be wrong. These the facts.

            Lol thinking you’re wrong is mysogyny and male arrogance. Nope. You. You’re a narc, you project, you do what the title of the article here says, and as a narc you cannot think you could be wrong and that you’re the narc. And this has zero to do with your gender. Yes, women can be narc or otherwise evil and wrong. So can men. This is the gender un-biased view. Only a biased radical feminist who is obviously wrong to anyone with a straight mind like you, can think this obviously unbiased view is arrogant.

            You are wrong on stuff. As simple as that. Thanks for proving it again and again, you may continue or not. What matters is that I am right and you are wrong, and no this isn’t arrogance, you are arrogant and if you don’t get it doesn’t mean I’mw rong. You are insanely arrogant and think you cannot be wrong and think the opposite point of view is wrong.

            THE MEDIA PROMOTE FEMINISM…ALREADY PROVES IT’S A LIE. TRUTH ISN’T POPULAR, moron.

            You are not in the right, it’s a fact. You are insanely arrogant and lack basic normal self-doubt. You should doubt yourself more, you do not have humility. Because you’re narc, aka arrogant.

            You certainly haven’t proven me wrong and again, anyone with a brain can see that you are, that you certainly aren’t very correct in your assessment and man hatred at all.

            hahaha arrogance is only male, you think. False. Not correct. Only an idiot denies that.

          4. Lol at using porn being the most hideous of crimes. Of course, wanting to have sex, which is perfectly natural, and masturbate, and thus using porn (which also women do), is so hideous.

            You’re an insane bigot.

            No, masturbating and watching porn (which sure, can become an addiction and that wouldn’t be good) is the Devil.

            Nope, it’s not. Very few people don’t think you’re wrong on that one. Even in the middle ages.

            You are wrong on stuff. Oh, cannot be right? Someone strongly disagreeing with your arguably insane views got to be in the wrong and is arrogant, right? Hahah. This is narcissism right here. And by denying it you prove it. You are narc and will never see that. You’re blind and lol at you and Jesus in the after life. No, Jesus won’t “marry” a silly blind man hater as you are.

            And men used to treat women way more poorly in the old ages, and in comparison those of today are acquiescent slaves. I was right that you know nothing of history as well.

            there is no doubt that also men can be evil, but women today are extremely evil as well, and you denying it makes you evil. You can deluded yourself you’re holy and Jesus will accomany you in eternity all you like. Does it make it true?

            hahahahhaha. Does it make it real?

            No, it does not. Have a brain. It doesn’t. Convinction and belief doesn’t mean correct. It’s a fantasy of yours, you do not know how Jesus feels about you and are WRONG in your assessment about it. That is reality. You are at war with it.

            Belief replaces reality and truth. Not my quote. Someone.

            You’re wrong, that’s fact. You gain nothing by deluding yourself, but I’m not trying to help you, I’m just stating the obvious here.

          5. Lol you saying men are bad is not sexist, me saying women can also be wrong is sexism.

            YOU ARE BIASED IS FACT, NOT OPINION. Biased means you’re wrong. The mroe you deny it the more wrong you stay. If you’re wrong, you lose, you gain nothing in the long term. Your delusion you are winning is delusion. Maybe Jesus agrees with me. Oh no, of course, you’re so holy and closer to Jesus than I having the courage to state the facts Im stating, that youre view is not the Truth.

            YOUR VIEW IS NOT THE TRUTH, that’s a fact. You are arrogant, you think you have the truth, hahahahah Jesus likes that? No. You’re wrong, I proved it. You simply threw the brain away and decided men are evil. While that men are manipulators usually, again Schopenhauer.

            HAHAHHAHAHA YOU’RE BETTER THAN SCHOPENHAUER HAHAHAH. Of course, male philosopher, patriarchy, and all this bs. You are deluded men are no good and are always wrong. You are evil.

            You are narc is obvious fact. Stop thinking one is wrong just because he sees you are. It only makes you wrong.

            Jesus was just a man. How he treated women? You of course know nothing about it. He wasn’t chivalrous at all. He wasn’t biased. He knew women are dangerous.

            You’re detahced from reality and by the way, fervent religiosity is detachment from reality. Secular fact of laicism (the neutral democratic society we live in. Not everyone is christian and not being christian isn’t being wrong but I’m sure you believe that, because you’re insane). Facts are secular, not religious. Religion is belief, not fact.

            I have proven you are wrong, and so did you. But what does it solve? Nothing. You will keep being deluded you are right, because that’s what narcissism and arrogance are about. You will keep until death to believe that you are correct and you know a lot while you know so little, and that you are close to Jesus. Nobody knows what happens after that. I am sure you will not be married to Jesus because he’s not an idiot. Only an idiot man stays close to a man hater like you. Lol you’re not a man hater? you declared yourself to be. Lol hating men isn’t wrong and inherently abusive? YOU ARE BLIND. You don’t distinguish right from wrong.

            I don’t hate women at all, that of yours is called strawman logic, if you had any logic you’d know (you don’t, you’re irrational. And not because you’re a woman, so can a man). I simply am a sane individual who observes the fact that women are humans who can be wrong and evil and manipulative as well.

            And all “gender wars” are completely retarded and you started it here. You not seeing that you are a problem, is just blindness.

            Oh, you cannot be blind, you cannot be wrong! Clerarly that is the truth and anyone denying it is the Devil!

            No, he’s simply not a narc sycophant.

            You’re blind and wrong.

          6. There will be no marrying in heaven. There will be no marriage to Jesus, either. Jesus will be in heaven. In hell, Jesus will not be. You deliberately misunderstand very basic things.

            Your manner of speech seems very, very young. And so it is reasonable for a person to enquire if said individual is even an actual adult. If you’re 18 or 19, then so be it. You’re technically an adult.

            Your porn use and defense of such vile, woman-hating, evil, is also typical. Porn is violence, not sex. Porn is degradation, not mutuality. Porn is prostitution, filmed. Porn is concentrated woman-hating.

            And you obviously are not Christian. You sound like a typical, run-of-the-mill incel. You sound like a porn-fueled creep. You sound very, very arrogant. And you obviously are very misogynistic as well. You probably are an incel because of your woman-hating attitudes, your terrible, hateful character, and your intensive focus on being “right” and “winning”.

            Do you realize that porn consumption is measurably shown to lead to the increased subscription to rape myths, to marked increases in coerciveness and sexual aggression? Men and boys who consume porn end up spewing that woman-hating all over, it infects all parts of their lives. Most boys and men who consume porn will argue that it is sex, when it is not. It’s violence against women and girls. It’s subjugation. It’s torture. And if you were treated in the ways women and girls are treated, you’d potentially finally experience and come to know that such is violent, torture, and ritualitzed degradation. Just because some rapist pornographers are calling it “sex” or “healthy sexuality” doesn’t make it so.

            You strike me as a very hateful, run-of-the-mill misogynist incel. Why are you on this website? What brings you to Dr. Simon’s webpage?

            And no, I didn’t read all your replies, merely skimmed a bit. There’s so much to address, I figured a few points would be plenty. Too much material. Too much of a time suck. Especially involving someone who is committed to misunderstanding and maligning me.

            Please, stay away from girls and women. It’s clear you cannot see your misogyny or otherwise you find such to be acceptable and normal. Either way, please stay away from females.

            Porn is not healthy, normal, or sex. It is trafficking. You contribute to sexual slavery. You reward rapists. And if, by chance, you do get the chance to date a female, tell her up-front how much porn you consume and what genres you like. See if she is cool with you masturbating to some girl or woman crying, gagging, and vomiting, and being violently raped in her mouth. See if she is cool with facial abuse. See if she is cool with your vile interests and pervert proclivities. If she is healthy, she’ll drop you instantly and her life will be immeasurably better for doing so. Porn users make terrible dates, boyfriends, and/or husbands.

            Have you moved into child porn, yet? So many porn users do. Slippery slope of perversion and evil.

            And if you are not a Christian, you should reevaluate your life. Where do you want to spend eternity? Do you not know that the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the LORD? You wish to be so intelligent and yet you lack enough basic wisdom to fear God. Obviously, it’s your choice. And you can take your arrogance to hell with you if you so choose. It won’t be a party. It won’t have your porn. It’ll be unending torment.

          7. I too have of course not read all the inanities you say.

            You’re literally insane, there’s no reasoning with you. Of course, you say the step is short from porn to child porn. Same thing really.

            Yeah, most of the world disagrees with you. I told you the world disagrees with you but you’re insane and don’t get it.

            Fuck away from my planet, insane fuck. The way you accuse peopel is actual VIOLENCE. Porn = child porn, get the fuck off my face, MONSTER. Fuck you, retard.

            A lot young women today consume porn, fucking idiot. And I never consume it. You’re fucking insane.

          8. “Have you moved into child porn, yet? So many porn users do. ”

            No fucking insane fuck, watching porn and being a pedo are not the same thing, FUCKING CUNT.

            You are insane. Hahaha my insisting on truth and being right is wrong, eh? See, you don’t give a shit about truth and proved my point.

            Ok I get it, you and women in general don’t give a fuck about truth. No way to reason with them on that one. There was an interesting answer on Quora about why. By some horrible pedo monster, got to be!

            YOU are a monster.

            Fucking idiot, I am hateful you say, and you’re not????? According to what standards your man hatred isn’t hatred and isn’t condemnable?

            You’re insane.

      1. “While that men are manipulators usually, again Schopenhauer.”

        Sorry I meant women, not men, and I swapped men and women a couple of other times in my comments. That’s how unbiased I am. Gender is not to be considered when assessing behaviour and ideas. The evaluation shoudl certainly not stop there, as you do with your “men are abusers, all men are evil”. Nah. Maybe you are. “Oh I’m not, I’m holy and I know I am in the right”. yeah, more arrogant simplism. You have proven you’re narc, you simply don’t admit you’re wrong. And that too is a tendency of women, a WOMAN on youtube says it. We’re so misogynist, look a misogynist woman! Women tend to never think they’re wrong as you prove. Would be nice if they stopped. Then men can even be worse. Doesn’t matter. Believing women are holy and only victims and can do no evil and can’t be arrogant is factually wrong and irrational. Nowhere Jesus said women are holy and can’t be wrong. Nowhere. And the Bible portrays plenty of female evil and evil queens and such. You are just a radical feminist, one of the many false ideologies in the world.

        1. Both women and men can be victimized. Men are by and large more violent and predatory than women. Men are dangerous to women. There are exceptions to any rule, but considering the amount of rape, woman abuse, woman-beating, stalking, sexual harassment, and so forth, it’s very reasonable for women and girls to want to avoid men and boys.

          What do you think about men’s violence against women? Do you support it? Do you perpetuate it? Your porn consumption is an example. Your penchant for seeing women as irrational or mental is typical of the attitudes one finds in a woman-abuser.

          Something tells me that if you ever do get a girlfriend, it will be a very negative and damaging experience for her. I hope you reflect. I hope you desire to be a better person. It’s real strength and extremely attractive for a man to be loving, caring, and respectful of the girls and women in his life. That’s real strength. Seems you do not value such things. Typical male.

          1. “Both women and men can be victimized. Men are by and large more violent and predatory than women. Men are dangerous to women. There are exceptions to any rule, but considering the amount of rape, woman abuse, woman-beating, stalking, sexual harassment, and so forth, it’s very reasonable for women and girls to want to avoid men and boys.”

            Insane ultra feminist victimist view…not The Truth by all means.

            You’re dead wrong! Heh. Such is life. You being wrong and being deluded you’re not.

            You can’t make a horse drink. You’ll just be disappointed in the afterlife, no doubts about that. Your optimistic expectations are not realistic. You have no idea what God thinks and does. You thin you do, which is sin of Pride that will be punished. And you’ll see how misogynist Jesus is in telling you how YOU are wrong, moron…and you’ll tell him that he is wrong because he doesn’t know what being a woman means…NOBODY CARES, MORON. An idiot is an idiot, male or female. And suggesting I am violent just for saying this is INSANITY of yours, female or male that you are.

            An idiot is a person who thinks she’s always right and can’t be wrong, and that is you AS A MATTER OF FACT, despite your false belief to be good, moral and reasonable. OTHERS HAVE TO SAY THAT, your self-assessment isn’t The Truth, fucking idiot…

            MORON, you are. Male or female.

      2. ” It’s strategic, purposeful, intentional, and predatory.”

        yebb, what you do, yes.

        You know you’re evil. You use religion just to pose as good.

        Piece of shite.

    2. “You strike me as a very hateful, run-of-the-mill misogynist incel. ”

      Yeah, but you don’t understand that your ideas aren’t facts, and what I “strike you as” isn’t what reality is. Crazy, eh? How could you ever be wrong in your assessments. You can’t be! You KNOW, you are wise, you are good and will go to heaven.

      FOR NO REASON, IT IS SO PERIOD! )

      You’re are fucking stupid and I am obviously much above you, idiot. I say it because you are incredibly far from this obviousl reality.

      THINKING YOURE STUPID AND BELOW ME ISN’T ARROGANCE,YOU ARE THE ARROGANT WHO BELIEVES IT CANNOT BE SO!

      You are not the Truth, and thinking you’re worng isn’t arrogant, stupid! It’s legit opinion! YOU are arrogant is a fact, idiot!

    3. Your exttreme radical feminist view is obviously biased and you still think you cannot be legitimately considered WRONG.

      1. I have edited several of your comments and deleted others. While some parts of your comments have had some merit, your manner of asserting your views is not in line with the principles of this blog. For now, I’ve taken some steps to block further comments. If you wish, you may contact me using the contact feature on that page.

        1. So his saying “fuck you, Dr. Simon” gets that comment removed yet his “fucking cunt” “retard” “moron” “mental” “insane” and more towards me is acceptable to you, Dr. Simon?

          You don’t see that as being abusive or problematic?

          The whole tirade of abuse is just more proof of why women and girls need to stay away from men and boys, as so very many are like this. Dare a woman express an opinion and out comes the “fucking cunt” and more. He did sound underage, though, so perhaps that is why you are treating him with kid gloves.

          1. FYI, It’s precisely the words you mention, not the FU directed at me that prompted my intervention. Many folks have said worse toward me. This child’s only valid seeming observation was of what appears your inordinately quick, harsh judgment of men and their motives, never really seriously considering you could be wrong, and dead wrong at times.

            I have never had the time to monitor all comments. And for many years, there was absolutely no necessity, given the uncommon civility the subscribers showed. In fact, most webmasters were amazed at the consistent civility of comments. But things have changed in recent years, and for the worst, I’m afraid. And the person I hired to monitor things has not been dutiful enough. So, I’m searching for a new webmaster. In the meantime, I’ll do the best an imperfect person like me can do to monitor things myself. And I’ll do my best to monitor your comments, too, especially when the intensity and character of them also get out of line with the decorum I desire for this blog.

          2. I was mistaken and thought you read them as they went. And by all means, remove my comments if you’d like. I’m not saying all women are perfect, nor am I saying all men are bad, just speaking of how much harm men, on the average, cause women. There is a clear power imbalance between men and women, despite men’s false claims that things are now equal, and most men exploit it. Most men are very misogynistic.

            I think he was a child. Yet, as a child, I’d never had the temerity to say such things, so I’d wondered if it wasn’t the typical 20-domething incel troll.

            The C-word is a standby these days. I’m surprised there wasn’t the typical rape and death threats that women and girls receive on the regular online. Times are getting worse. This is why women and girls don’t engage online with the same frequency and ease as men and boys do. Dare a woman express an unpopular opinion and here come the trolls and out come the threats of harm, the tirade of verbal abuse, the C-word is almost guaranteed, among others.

            I’m going into official old person territory and saying, “kids these days..” I feel so sad for the girls of this generation. Poor girls.

  2. But what about leaders, maybe from a cilt or even a country? What if their tactic is to play the victim, point at a group of ‘other people’ as the victimizer en put two group up againdt each other? How do Ideal with that?

  3. OMG I cannot believe all the disgusting trash, vulgarity, and avoidance being lashed out becuz an educated professional spoke truth of realities that apparently many of you refuse to accept. I am living every day in fear at this very moment becuz if/when I speak any of my own truth anout any feeling I have, I am bludgeoned with rage, threays, and blame. Outnumbered by these (men) who believe their manipulation, gas lighting, and projection is OK! I agree it could be either set, but I see it in many men who insist they have no issues and their hurtful behaviors are all becuz a women “made them”… they are ALWAYS the victim in every relationship they have had with any woman in their lives. Until you have taken the time to research, gain the WISDOM that comes with listening to and working with
    thousands and thousands of individuals from everywhere on the behavioral spectrum, SHUT THE F UP and show respect to Dr Simon. All of you that have to put him down to try to prove your opinions aka uneducated points are pathetic.

  4. OMG I cannot believe all the disgusting trash, vulgarity, and avoidance being lashed out becuz an educated professional spoke truth of realities that apparently many of you refuse to accept. I am living every day in fear at this very moment becuz if/when I speak any of my own truth about any feeling I have, I am bludgeoned with rage, threats, and blame. Outnumbered by these narcissistic men who believe their manipulation, gas lighting, and projection is OK! I agree it could be either sex, but I see it in so many men who insist they have no issues and their hurtful behaviors are all becuz a women “made them do it”… they are ALWAYS the victim in every relationship they have had with any woman in their lives. Until you have done the hard work for years of becoming educated at the doctorate level, taken the time to research, gain the WISDOM that comes with listening to and working with
    thousands and thousands of individuals from everywhere on the behavioral spectrum, SHUT THE F UP and show respect to Dr Simon. All of you that have to put him down to try to prove your opinions aka uneducated points are pathetic.

    1. I do value Dr. Simon’s expertise. I have read his books. I come to his website to read his posts and the comments of others.

      I am sorry you are living in fear. Are you living with an abuser? Unable to leave him? Have no other place to go?

      Men blame women for everything. Sure, there are exceptions, but it’s pretty much the norm. Society blames women for everything. I speak in generalities, of course.

      You are right, Sherry, abuser men are always falsely claiming they are the victims in their relationships with women. It’s a red flag. It’s also DARVO. Deny the abuse the perp did. Accuse the woman of being crazy, a liar, vindictive, malicious. Reverse Victim and Offender Roles, which is the wife-beater man claiming to be the victim and that his battered wife is the real abuser.

      And you are not alone, Sherry, as women and girls, the world over, live in fear of the abuse, threats, and vitriol that will surely come if they speak truth about the damage men’s violence, misogyny, and sexism. It’s widespread.

      I even doubt Dr. Simon can truly get it because he has been not only a man all his life, but a highly educated, upper SES, so he’s insulated. I don’t think he is unaware, but I also don’t believe any man can truly get it as they have not had the displeasure of growing up and living as female in this woman-hating, sexist world.

      When women speak the truth of their lives, and what men do to them, it is almost invariably met with more abuse, harassment, insults, etc., BUT the lovely thing is other women can read what is written and know they are not alone. Courage and truth are contagious. When women speak their truth, with all the courage that requires, then it gives other women the courage to also examine their lives, and speak the truth of their lives, and to not be ashamed or embarrassed to share the harms they, too, have suffered.

      Obviously, not all men are predatory abusers, but most. And obviously, women are not perfect, as nobody is. But in general, I speak, on the great average. Men’s abuse of, violence against, and perversions are so very common. It’s rare for men to actually not be sexist, perverted, manipulative, coercive, misogynists.

      Anyhow, I hope you are okay, Shelley.
      And I’m sure Dr. Simon is okay.

      1. “abuser men are always falsely claiming they are the victims in their relationships with women. ”

        Yeah, but, you don’t decide what’s true or false…truth isn’t what you say it is. You’re not The Judge. So your judgements are worthless, because they simply aren’t the truth and the correct judgements.

        And if you think Jesus doesn’t agree with that, again bad judgement of yours…

        And again, you don’t decide what’s true or false. Anything you think is questionable and possibly wrong opinion/view. You don’t know the truth of things. If you deny this, you’re crazy. If you think calling a woman crazy ever is misogyny, more madness of yours. Oh, thinking a woman is mad is misogyny eh?

        You are insane, that is a legit opinion and possibly the truth. The truth isn’t what you think or say. That’s a fact.

        Your view isn’t correct, Dr Simon has also confirmed this. You are DEAD WRONG, he said. You refuse to understand that. It’s called: refusing to understand.

        Reality isn’t what you believe or say it is. Hard concept, eh?

      2. “I even doubt Dr. Simon can truly get it because he has been not only a man all his life”

        A woman isn’t more right than a man. You are not more right than a person who opposes your view.

        You don’t understand this, eh?

        You haven’t proven you are right at all, and that’s a fact. Keep being wrong. You lose at being right, that’s a fact.

        YOUR OPINIONS AREN’T THE RIGHT ONES. People who disagree with you are more right than you. Your refusal to undertand this is extreme arrogance. Your refusal to understand that it is extreme arrogance, is also extreme arrogance.

        DOUBT YOURSELF, idiot. A person who does’t doubt herself or himself is stupid and wrong. Fucking idiot who doesn’t know the value of doubt.

        DOUBT IS WISDOM, moron.

        hahahah what proof do you have that you are wise?!??!?! hahahaha!?? Do you have Jesus’ phone number and he told you on Whatsapp?

        fucking insane fuck.

        You believing you’re wise means you’re wise, eh?

        FUCKING IDIOT, REJECTING YOUR VIEWS IS BASIC WISDOM AND INTELLIGENCE. You don’t decide what’s true or not, idiot. You are nobody. You are not God or Jesus. They are the absolute truth. YOU are not. And no, they do not think what you say or think that they think. Moron. And no, moron isn’t used by children only, fucking idiot. You are a fucking idiot and that’s the truth. Only a fucking idiot denies that.

        Fucking idito, calling you fucking idiot means that you ARE such, fucking idiot. Lol you camm’t be a fucking idiot? Truth isn’t what you think, moron with zero arguments.

        You just asserted things and a view that is not the factual truth, fucking idiot. Because if you think your view is factually correct, then yiou’re a fucking idiot. A fucking idiot is a person who refuses to see the fact that what he or she is saying or thinking is NOT a fact. And you are that. A bigoted fucking idiot who isn’t right at all. Again, we got it, you think you’re right. Nobody is such an idiot to believe absolute reality is what you say and that you can’t be wrong when you think you’re right. You are simply stubborn and narrow minded to the extreme. A bigot. And you cannot prove that to be wrong, because it is not.

        REALITY ISN’T WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY IT IS…until you understand that, you are fucking stupid. Because it’s an obvious FACT, that reality is NOT what you think.

        Couldn’t you be that you are DEAD WRONG and that your view is eskewed a bit too much – biased – in favor of women, eh? No it cannot! VERY SCIENTIFIC!

        YOUR VIEW ISN’T SCIENTIFIC, YOUR VIEW ISN’T FACTUAL. Fucking idiot. Men are NOT more evil than women, science does NOT say that, fucking idiot.

        YOUR WORDS AND THOUGHTS AREN’T THE TRUTH, fucking idiot. Until you understand that, you are fucking stupid.

        Jesus hates you, fucking idiot. You’re stupid and don’t get it. Your fantasies on heaven with Jesus in eternity are fantasies according to science, fucking idiot.

        NO, YOUR FEMINIST BRAND AND PERVERSION OF CHRISTIANITY ISN’T THE REAL CHRISTIANITY, isn’t the christianity of Jesus, and isn’t the truth, bigoted insane fuck. You are one of the most insane minds I have ever seen. We are discussing your “beautiful” mind in some forum…no, it’s not incel because I’m married and my wife knows you’re insane and that I am a wonderful man and you’re just a fucking insane fuck, fucking idiot.

        Plenty of women watxch porn, bigoted old fuck. Ever thought that your old brain might be wrong at times? Oh, of course not. Youre are a delusional solipsist and a complete idiot to attack me simply for saying that simple fact snd completely legitimate view that has nothing to do with misogyny. I treat women EQUALLY, fucking idiot – a woman can also be an idiot, it’s not as if if she’s female she can’t be, FUCKING IDIOT.

        You are a fucking idiot, male or female that you are, fucking idiot. Your narrative that me calling you a fucking idito is misogynistic, is complete insanity as all of your other views. You ahve not proven me wrong remotely. You have no logic – YOU I’m saying, not all women, YOU! Most women are absolutely not as insane as you are. And most mena ren’t either. And you are psychologically abusive and play the victim, fucking idiot. It’s an obvious fact, obvious to any honest mind reading this convo and your insane extreme views. MOST PEOPLE AGREE WITH ME YOUR VIEWS ARE EXTREME AND INSANE, fucking idiot, prove me wrong on that one…I have proof here that I’m right, the whole forum agrees you’re insane. And there’s also women there.

      3. “When women speak the truth of their lives, and what men do to them, it is almost invariably met with more abuse”

        You call disagreeing with you abuse, which is insane victim mentality and abuse that YOU do, and no it’s not wrong just because you say so, remember you’re not The Judge? You’re not. God is. And you’re not God remotely. Also I am not. So, you have your opinion and you have yours – nobody wins fucking idiot, you are not right in absolute at all. You ahve not proven you are according to science or Logic, at all. You cannot claim to be the Truth, if you do so you’re just an idiot. You just don’t understand you are wrong. As simple as that and you have no proof I am not right on that one.

        “when women speak the truth” words by HUMANS aren’t “the truth”, they’re opinions and disagreeing with them isn’t abuse, and isn’t wrong.

        THE TRUTH ISN’T WHAT YOU SAY, MORON.

        When a woman or man claims to be a victim, it doesn’t mean that they really are, fucking idiot.

        You imply that women claiming to be victim are always or almost always right. Well that’s not sdomething science confirms, and it’s therefore not a fact, fucking idiot.

        A FACT ISN’T WHAT YOU CALL SUCH, fucking idiot…

        please keep writing your insane delusional views for the forum I’m posting them to. It’s nice for me to know that not everyone in this world is crazy. You are the craziest and stupidest woman I have ever encountered online or offline. Most women I meet are fine, normally intelligent and not idiots like you. I heard your insane views exist but hey, YOU’RE A FUCKING AMERICAN, and all europeans know americans are stupid. The world does. Morons. But of course, the truth is what YOU think! Too stupid to understand you’re wrong, eh? I can’t do anything about it. We’ll see what happens in the afterlife – certainly not what you believe.

      4. ” It’s rare for men to actually not be sexist, perverted, manipulative, coercive, misogynists.”

        Because these things are not what you think are these things. You call sexism and perversion a lot of things that a lot of people don’t think are perverted. You bigoted insane fuck don’t decide what’s right or wrong. You are not the moral authority, stupid one. You think you are. But you aren’t.

        RIght or wrong is not what YOU say are so. But you’re an idiot and a narc and believe they are. Cause you’re stupid. IT takes stupidity to not understand the simple fact that ANYTHING YOU THINK IS TRUE, IS NOT TRUE. And to believe that you are not biased and incorrect and can’t be an idiot. You CAN is FACT. Until you accept that fact, you’re a complete idiot. And that’s the truth. And no, it’s not untrue just because you’re stupid and don’t get it.

        You are insanely arrogant, fucking idiot. YOU. Not me for knowing you are wrong, fucking idiot.

        YOU ARE AN INSANE FUCK WHO THINKS SHE’S RIGHT WHEN SHE’S NOT. Where the proof that I am wrong on that espistemology – I’m sure you don’t knwo the word – , fucking idiot?

        Ayn Rand was a brilliant intelligent woman, and an intellgent woman knows that most women are stupid, as are most men really. You’re an insane idolizer of the feminine. You’re nto christian. Christianity unfortunately for you is pretty misogynistic we can say. Women are considered inferior in christianity, moron. Jesus did not think women are equal, fucking idiot. YOU ARE IGNORANT OF LIFE, fucking idito, where the proof it is not so? hahahah she thinks she is not wrong on life. Fucking idiot.

        where the proof that I am wrogn that you are ignorant of life? Fucking idiot. Insane delusional fuck who thinsk she knows what she doesn’t know. Jesus would say this, fucking idito. Lol now Jesus thinks you’re right. Hahahahah! You can’t be delusional, right? You are very scientific and logical. No you are not.

          1. So you are an adult. An abusive one at that. Whatever. You sound very young. Dr. Simon also thought you were a child.

            What is your objective with all your abuse?

      5. By the way, congratulations for mastering the Art of Being Wrong.

        You are the Devil, fucking idiot. Go ask Jesus, fucking idiot who thinks she knows everything, while in her deceit, she is clearly evil to anyone who is good.

        Only a fucking idiot thinks you’re good. You aren’t. Fucking idiot. There is nothing good in you and your mind and heart, moron. Only narcissism, pride and insanity. Fucking idiot. Lol she’s good.

        You are not intelligent, wise, and RIGHT remotely, but as Dr Simon said, you are DEAD WRONG.

        And you ARE manipulative and you don’t give a damn about truth, lol you accused me of being too adamant on the truth and being right. You substitute the truth with your deceit manipulation and false victimhood, and that is being bad.

        These are obvious facts. Lol because you don’t confirm them they’re wrong? People who think you’re bad aren’t wrong, moron. Bad people think and claim they’re good as you do, moron.

        Only a fucking idiot denies the very real possibility that you are evil, a psychopath or narcissist woman. There is no end to the lies and twisted words and thoughts of a deceitful person as you are. You won’t fool me for sure. YOU ARE EVIL IS MY TRUTH, and my truth is to me more true than yours, and that is nto arrogance fucking idiot, lol I should think you are right and I am wrong by default? Fucking idiot. I can perfectly be more right than you, it’s not arrogance, irrational fool.

        OF COURSE YOU CAN BE MORE WRONG THAN *ANYONE* fucking idiot, of course that is THE TRUTH! and of course you are not the truth, fucking idiot who thinks she can fool anyone! No man is fooled by your idiotic man hatred and hyper feminism, so you’re not fooling any of them and you’re forced to stay away from men…please keep doig it fucking idiot! And no, I won’t listen to your advice and I will not for a second think your advice is sane and correct, fucking idiot. You are wrong in your assessments on men and women, period. Dead wrong!

        You are not the truth. Jesus knows that, everyone knows that. You are an insane delusional megalomaniac who believes she’s right and doesn’t listen to reason and the truth ever.

        Fucking idiot who thinks claiming to be christian makes her good. You are a PIECE OF SHIT like few.

        1. Sigh, the troll has returned. I feel sorry for any female forced to deal with him. Hateful little troll.

          This is why women and girls don’t participate online with the same ease that men and boys do. Because the hateful males will come along and be their hateful, abusive selves.

          So typical. Yawn.

          1. “I feel sorry for any female forced to deal with him. ”

            Yeah, because I cannot be bullshited and I DEMAND BASIC HUMILITY and not being a narcissistic delusional fuck who thinks she’s always wrong as you are and also any man can be. And in that case, I run away fucking idiot, or they do; nobody forces anyone to do anything, fucking idiot devoid of any common sense.

            You want men to submit to women, fucking idiot. Feminism has always been that and of course there’s always a power struggle between races and genders and any two groups.

            You fail to dominate me psychologically and guilt-trip me so yeah, fuck off. I reject all of your BULLSHIT so try with some loser. Because a man who believes your bullshit is a loser. I as a certainly more evolved being than you are don’t need to dominate anyone.

            You do want to dominate, again you don’t speak the truth; you are deceit. You think men not submitting to women and defending themselves from the evil women can well be is abuse. And you think a man is never a victim of a woman…factually faulse in court, fucking idiot. Men have been killed by women, fucking idiot, and the women went to jail. Nobody listens to your feminist retardedness there. Women are not the victims just because they say so, moron. And women are/can be way more evil than your biased feminist view believes.

  5. I also do have normal self-doubt. Both Dr. Simon and the hateful troll incorrectly assumed I did not. Such was a mistaken assumption of theirs. I can be wrong. I can be dead wrong. Anyone can.

    This hateful troll is a male. His mistreatment of me is typical of male abusiveness towards females. The c-word is almost guaranteed. All sorts of garbage is piled on the woman or girl being targeted. Porn is defended. Misogyny is defended. All sorts of things. I don’t see any wrong take of mine there.

    Run of the mill misogynistic troll. Accurate? Yes. Dead wrong? No. Men don’t want to see other men’s violence, abuse, misogyny, etc. Men deny. Men debate. Men defend one another against a woman’s opinions and claims. This world is one big boys club.

    Incel, MRA, regular misogynist. They all speak pretty much the same language. Hateful trolls. Seeking to silence women and girls. Abuse them in the process. He’s a hateful troll, Dr. Simon.

    Since he is a child, I understand the kid gloves, but still a misogynistic troll.

  6. It’s good this misogynist has presented himself and allowed girls and women to see what the typical male is like and what he truly believes.

    There you have it – the typical male troll.

    Nothing original. Nothing surprising. Very run of the mill misogyny and sexist beliefs. The insults are unoriginal. It’s all very repetitive. Typical male.

    Defends porn. Speaks of rape and bestiality desires. Insults. Ageism. Sexism. Lookism. Tries to dominate and silence. Tries to define what is and is not. Abusive. Supports stigmatizing mental health. Ableism. C-word, insane, witch, BPD, and so forth.

    I feel so sorry for the women and girls of society.

  7. Aren’t you pleased you defended this out-and-out satanist, Dr. Simon?

    “Satan owns your cunt”
    “I am evil”
    “Satan is god”

    And so forth he spews.

    Yet further proof that males, with rare exception, are vile, evil, misogynists.

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