Relationships naturally grow in strength, depth, and wholesomeness in the absence of character disturbance. And when our most important relationships are solid, we can expect the makings of a healthy community. It all starts with character.
One of the most effective ways for impaired characters to victimize others is to conceal their malevolent intentions while simultaneously prompting their “target” to accede to their desires. Manipulators win by using clever tactics like “gaslighting” to get the other person to back down or give in.
Deceit is the hallmark trait of manipulative characters. And there are many ways to deceive. Some disturbed characters are so skilled in the subtlest forms of lying that they have raised it nearly to an art form.
Once you’re intimately familiar with all the tactics they habitually employ to: 1) get the better of you; and 2) look good while doing it, you can be more sure of your judgments about your manipulator’s character.
Do we all need therapy? Perhaps not. Could most of us benefit from a little therapy? Probably, especially if it’s the right kind.
Crazy-makers employ a slew of subtle tactics to make you doubt. And the more charming, polished, and convincing they are at this, the more unsure and crazy they can make you feel.
The thoughts running through our head are either secure or insecure, positive or negative. But in any given moment, we have the power to change them.
Fighting dirty is fighting without principle-guided limits and boundaries. It’s placing winning over everything and using whatever tactics or psychological “weapons” you can think of to secure the dominant position. Such fighting is the destroyer of relationships.
Narcissists lie not only to others but also to themselves. They lie so freely and egregiously they can start believing their fictions and become delusional.
Some habitual liars are called “pathological” liars because they lie for no apparent reason. They lie even at times when the truth would suffice or serve them better. Some have regarded such senseless lying as a kind of mental illness or even insanity. But these liars are not insane. Rather, they belong to a group of the most severely disordered characters among us (i.e. psychopaths, sociopaths, etc.), and they’re perfectly rational. There’s a “method” to their apparent “madness.”
Victims of narcissistic rage rightfully experience intimidation. In their hearts, they know what a person determined to have the dominant position is capable of. And they know what can happen if they dare to say “no,” or refuse to be subordinate. But living in fear of a narcissist’s rage caries its own price.
This year, resolve to be more empowered. And that means directing your energy where it might actually do some good.
Willfulness has a positive and negative side. A strong will can be one’s foremost asset. But it can also be a great liability. A properly formed and guided will is essential for sound character.
Many folks these days have narcissistic features in their character. However, that doesn’t necessarily make them a narcissistic personality. Nor does it necessarily mean they have a personality or character disorder. It helps to understand the vast spectrum of narcissism.
For the most part, narcissists exhibit a passive disregard for (i.e. they simply don’t concern themselves with) the wants, needs, and desires of others, including those they purport to love. But the more malignant their narcissism is, the more active their disregard of others’ concerns can become, wantonly crossing boundaries and exceeding reasonable limits with a disturbing sense of entitlement. But whether their disregard for others is active or passive in character, it can engender substantial abuse and exploitation in their relationships.
When it comes to gaining the skills to empower oneself – and especially when it comes to overcoming character deficiencies – perhaps nothing is as important as confronting, correcting, and ultimately replacing dysfunctional behavior patterns.