I’ve recently received several emails from different places across the globe, all addressing the same topic. One woman from Belgium said that the manipulator in her life had caused her to question herself so much that she wondered if she really had a grip on reality. But a friend recommended In Sheep’s Clothing and reading its validating words helped her restore a sense of sanity. And a man from Hungary wrote to say that just having a mental health professional attest in writing to the the issues he knew in his gut to be true but couldn’t prove with regard to the actions of some of his co-workers was enough to save him from feeling crazy. It always gratifies me to get these kinds of comments.
Skilled manipulators are good at what they do. They can appear so charming and benign on the surface. They’re adept at the art of what some psychologists call “impression management.” That means they know how to make others think well of them, even when they’re not behaving in a kind or respectable way. Sometimes, just knowing that there are people who really are as power-oriented and as calculating as you suspect they are but who conceal or disguise that fact well enough to make you doubt your judgment can be enough restore your sanity. In your gut, you know it’s them, but somehow they make it seem like it’s you. That’s enough to make anyone feel a little crazy. And that’s exactly why I wrote a book about it. I also believe the reason it’s endured as a bestseller for nearly 17 years is primarily because the principles I advance in it resonate with people’s experience and gives them the validation necessary to not feel crazy anymore.
In Sheep’s Clothing has already been published in 6 foreign languages. A Spanish language version is in the works and a Japanese edition is also under discussion. Covert-aggression is a big problem, and it’s everywhere. So is the problem of Character Disturbance in general. And many folks have had an intuitive sense about these issues since long before I decided to write about them. That’s why I want everyone who’s been on the receiving end of someone’s covert-aggression, to take heart. It’s important for them to realize they’re not crazy. And, hopefully, they’ll find in my books and other writings, as well as the comments on this blog, the resources and tools necessary to feel both validated and empowered.
In the coming weeks I’ll be sharing several stories and discussing in greater depth the reasons why people sometimes doubt their intuitive judgment and then get hoodwinked by manipulators. I’ll also share some anecdotes from folks who regained their confidence and sense of validation and in so doing opened up for themselves a more empowered life.