Manipulative Seduction
Manipulative seduction is a tactic I first described in In Sheep’s Clothing. It’s the tactic covert characters use to curry your favor. And it’s how they lure you into their realm of influence. (See also: Falling Under and Getting Out from Under a Spell.)
It’s normal for human beings to do what they can to attract and influence those to whom they’re attracted. But we live in significantly character-disturbed times! So, it behooves us to carefully vet someone’s character when they engage in their seductive ploys.
The Many Ways to Seduce
Manipulative seduction can take many forms. Sometimes, its a matter of pure charm. And I’ve written about how charmers go about their craft before. Sometimes it’s a matter of pouring on attention, praise, or engaging in ego-massage. Put these things together and you have what some refer to these days as “love-bombing.” But these behaviors have little to do with love. And sadly, all too many folks mistake the interest a person might show for genuine regard. How little regard someone has for you often only becomes evident after they’ve gotten what they want from you.
Overcoming Vulnerability
To some extent, we’re all vulnerable to manipulative seduction. Everyone likes to feel desired, love-worthy. But in the days of widespread character dysfunction, you have to be careful. It’s one thing to feel desired. But it’s quite another to know that the person desiring you has the character to truly love you.
A major concern I had when writing Essentials for the Journey was to adequately convey my understanding of the nature of genuine love. We human beings are meant for love. Moreover, our capacity to genuinely love best defines the nature of our character. But sadly, all too many things successfully masquerade as love. And narcissistic character are masters of the manipulative seduction techniques that mimic love. That’s how folks so often get duped: mistaking imposter behaviors for real love.
The keys to overcoming vulnerability are twofold. First, you have to gain an understanding of love’s true nature. (See also the last chapter in Essentials for the Journey.) And second, you have to know how to properly assess someone’s capacity for it, because that capcity best defines their character. And as I’ve said many times and will continue to say, character matters, perhaps more so today than ever. I speak about this topic and other manipulation tactics on the latest Character Matters podcast.
