Lying – Manipulation Tactic 1 Pt 2

Like most disturbed characters, manipulators are skilled liars.  Most people, however can’t understand why such people lie so much, especially when it seems to serve no purpose.  Some have even referred to repeat bashers of the truth as “pathological liars,” presuming that they have some kind of mental illness that makes them want to lie even when there doesn’t appear to be good reason to do it. 

Disordered characters of all types, and especially manipulators always want to be in a position of advantage over others.  They never want the “playing field” of interpersonal relations to be “level.”  They want to have the upper hand and to keep you in a one-down position.  Lying is simply one of the best ways to accomplish this end.  More than most, manipulators don’t want you to have their number.  They don’t want you to know who they really are or what they really want.  That would give you a position of equal advantage in dealing with them.  They would rather that you have to be constantly in the dark, frequently second-guessing, or oblivious to the reality of circumstances.  So, even when the truth would do just fine, they’d rather lie.  It give them a position of advantage. 

In upcoming posts, I’ll be exploring other tactics disturbed characters use to manipulate others and resist taking responsibility. 

5 thoughts on “Lying – Manipulation Tactic 1 Pt 2

  1. That’s just so messed up – lying just to keep you in the dark so they’ll have the upper hand.

    1. Of course, that’s certainly not the only reason for lying. But it explains why some disturbed characters lie – even when there appears no rational reason for doing so.

  2. I’d welcome knowing more of what you’ve observed about lying in a slightly different context – not them lying to you to cover themselves (and keep the upper hand), but lying to others about you, spreading false and malicious rumors. Is this somehow aiding their ‘position, position, position’? Or just how they undermine everyone else and keeping themselves as the only superior person? If they aren’t really delusional but just virtuosos at creating breath-taking lies, how is this aiding the character-disturbed individual’s key objective?

    1. Great question, simple answer: It’s always about position. Whether it’s building oneself up by tearing someone else down, looking good by making others look bad, or whatever, it’s always about being in a position of advantage or to wield power or influence. Even if, (as in the case of the narcissist) it’s mostly about seeing oneself as and feeling superior, it’s still about the relative position. The issue of delusional thinking, however, is not so easy to simply address. A lot of factors there. And rarely is such a thing strictly the result of abnormal brain functioning in an otherwise healthy personality, although such a thing indeed can and does happen.

  3. One of my friends used to lie by raising importance. She set up her SMS so that people who received her messages would see them as ‘Urgent Message’. Besides, when sending e-mails, sometimes she would write: “Call me at …. Important.”. In the end, there was nothing important/urgent from her. People with high conscience might think: “Oh, this poor girl must need my help desperately” and called her (or did her request) immediately. I think that’s how she manipulated others to advance her self-serving agenda as soon as possible.

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