Labors of Love
We’ve all heard the phrase “labor of love.” But what exactly are labors of love? I think this worthy of some contemplation this Labor Day week.
It’s fitting that we celebrate the value of human labor. But I wonder how many of us really appreciate how valuable some labor truly is. And I also wonder if we appreciate how our attitudes toward work largely define our character.
Differing Sentiments toward Work
Work is a necessity. But for some of us, it’s more than that. It can be the expression of our life’s passion. And it can be an important means of personal fulfillment. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be involved in something that makes the best use of our talents. And if the endeavor allows us to make a meaningful social contribution to boot, our work can indeed feel most rewarding .
Unfortunately, to some, “work” is a dirty little word. In fact, some characters regard a certain kind of labor repugnant. The kind of labor I’m talking about is labor on behalf of someone or somthing else. This is what labors of love are all about.
Disturbed characters can’t comprehend labors of love. They resist labor that doesn’t immediately profit them. For them, that kind of w-o-r-k is truly a four-letter word.
The Heart of the Problem
It’s not that disturbed characters simply won’t work. True, some are, for lack of better words, lazy and parasitic. (This is especially true of some antisocial and sociopathic types.) But even the most problematic characters can put out a great deal of effort sometimes. Ironically, career theives often work harder planning their crafty schemes than they would probably have to work at a legitmate enterprise. There’s just something about honest work born of genuine love they find abhorent.
What disturbed characters really detest the most is the kind of work begotten of a sense of obligation. They simply detest putting out effort that might, even in part, serve something higher or bigger. Already feeling entitled, they can’t imagine being beholding to anyone or anything.
I talk about disturbed characters’ negative attitudes toward loving labor in Character Disturbance, In Sheep’s Clothing, and The Judas Syndrome. Specifically, I talk about the “something for nothing” mentality (i.e. “quick and easy thinking”) that helps foster such negative attitudes.
The Hard Road to Integrity
Perhaps the toughest job we have in life is forging a character of real integrity. All of us have our strengths and weaknesses. And some of these are naturally endowed. We also have our share of hardships to overcome. So, it’s a real challenge, espe to reckon with ourselves in a way that we make of ourselves productive, contributing, and respect-worthy persons. Disturbed characters resist this kind of work more than any other. Conversely, labors of love are the hallmark of healthy, wholesome characters.
Forging a character of integrity is the most noble of all labors of love. But finding room in one’s heart to be the best one can be for the welfare of all requires an uncommon level of dedication. (See: Forge Sound Character With Hard Work.) And there’s absolutely no reason to commit to this arduous and life-long undertaking unless one has a deep underlying sense of obligation. That sense of obligation has to stem from a feeling of indebtedness. And that indebtedness has to be born of gratitude. (See also: Humble Gratitude Inspires Indebtedness.)
It’s ironic that l-o-v-e is also a four-letter word. But it just doesn’t evoke the same sentiments for people of integrity that w-o-r-k does for disturbed characters. When folks of good character labor in love, for love, and with love, the burdens of life somehow seem lighter.
Available dates for consultations are closing fast. Check the Consultations page for details.
Response to the Interview for the You Get to Be You podcast was extaordinary. (You have to sign in to access the podcast replay.) I’m very gratetful.
I’ll have an announcement soon on the new Character Matters podcasts. I’ll also have an announcement soon about my upcoming new book.