How did we end up here? That’s the question so many folks who have been struggling in or recovering from a toxic relationship find themselves asking. How did a relationship that once seemed to hold such promise end up going so horribly wrong? How could they have misjudged someone so badly – been so blind? If there were warning signs from the beginning, how did they miss them? Is there something wrong with them? Are they destined to make the same mistakes again? And how do they pick up the pieces, heal their wounds, recover their strength and courage and move on?
Many folks also question how we ended up here as a society. There’s so much dysfunction – so many troubled, abusive, unhealthy relationships – so little caring – so much lying and cheating – in short, so little character. My latest book with Kathy Armistead, How Did We End Up Here?, now available on Amazon, addresses all the aforementioned questions.
When it was first published nearly 20 years ago, In Sheep’s Clothing was a groundbreaking book. That’s because it offered people who were feeling crazy in their relationship with a covert-aggressive manipulator a way to validate their feelings, understand what was really going on, and empower themselves. Because of the fresh perspective it offered, it became a true international bestseller, published in over a dozen foreign languages (I’ll have more information in a few weeks about some new foreign language editions about to hit the press). Then came Character Disturbance, a comprehensive guide to understanding all of the various disturbed and disordered characters you’re likely to encounter in life, which has also become a bestseller. And now, with the help of my gifted co-writer, herself a therapist, come some new, up-to-date handbooks (more new releases will be announced in the next few months), including our latest offering, How Did We End Up Here?, crafted as a practical guide to “Surviving and Thriving in a Character-Disordered World.”
We live in some very trying times. A culture of narcissism, self-indulgence, and entitlement has allowed all too many folks to enter adulthood so underdeveloped in character that they simply aren’t equipped to function in a sufficiently caring, responsible way in their relationships or other life endeavors. This sad reality has affected every single aspect of our lives. It’s what I talk about every week on Character Matters. And it’s the message I carry in all my professional training workshops across the country. But the situation is not hopeless. Character can be nurtured and developed. I address this from a faith perspective in The Judas Syndrome. And in my latest offering, How Did We End Up Here?, I explain how most character-impaired folks can be effectively dealt with and even helped, if you know the right things to do. In some upcoming works, I’ll be delving into the A-B-Cs of character development – the all important key to “innoculating” our young people against the negative influences of our times. Stay tuned.
I’ll have more to say about all of this on Character Matters this Sunday at 7 pm Eastern (4 pm Pacific) Time, and it will be a live broadcast, so I can take your calls.
I hope you take the time to check out our new book on Amazon, and if you have a mind to, craft a review.
Also, to the wonderful commentators who contribute so much to the blog and its value:
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