Can There Be Honor Among Thieves?
Heart thieves are interesting characters. And I’ve written about certain breeds of them before. See, for example:
Not all heart thieves pose big trouble for relationships. But some definitely do. What makes the difference is narcissism, in its various forms and levels of malignancy. Narcissism is a dimension of a person’s character (See: Personality and Character Disorders-The Narcissism Dimension). And, as both I and abundant evidence have long asserted, it varies as to type and degree, which makes it really difficult to spot at times. But whenever it’s present, there’s cause for caution.
How Heart Thieves Operate
All heart thieves know just what to say and do to win you over. Like all thieves, they’re primarily opportunists. They tend to read people and situations much like a robber planning a heist. They often have a keen sense for your emotional needs and concerns. And hence, they also sense your vulnerabilities. If you’re one of those folks needing lots of affirmation, for example, an adoring gaze might be all they need to cast to begin stealing your heart.
Heart thievery is actually quite common. Why? Because we’re all creatures of economy. We want the most for the lowest personal cost. And it’s simply less costly to woo a person with charm and other methods and than it is to truly merit their regard by demonstrating a well-hewn character.
Now, lest I be misunderstood here, I’m not saying that every skilled romancer is inevitable relationship poison. But what I am saying is what I’ve said for many years and will continue to say: character matters. And in our day and time, properly discerning a person’s character, and the traits that comprise it, is more crucial than ever. That’s why I wrote Character Disturbance, In Sheep’s Clothing and my other books. It’s also why I’ve posted the many free informational articles on this blog. I wanted to give folks the information and tools necessary to properly discern the nature of a person’s character. And at a time when there’s so much inaccurate information out there, especially about narcissism, proper discernment is harder than ever.