What’s In An Image?

An unhealthy self-image lies at the root of many character disturbances. And that’s particularly so when it comes to narcissism. But what, exactly, is self-image all about? And what makes the difference between a healthy image of oneself and an unhealthy one?

An image is a representation of something. And any rendering of an actual thing is only as accurate or good as the process creating the image. The same is true when it comes to images of ourselves, whether it’s the image we hold or want others to hold.

When it comes to character, how we want others to see us matters. So does how we see ourselves. But it matters even more how accurate and healthy any of those perceptions are.

Types of Unhealthy Self-Image

One can see oneself as inherently defective, inadequate, unlovable, etc.. And that type of unhealthy self-image can cause many problems in life. It can also lead a person to form a variety of unhealthy relationships, and for a lot of unhealthy reasons.

A person can also harbor a self-image that’s distorted for sure, but in an overly glowing or grandiose, as opposed to negative sort of way. And persons who think too much of themselves or want others to adore them cause very different problems in relationships.

Self-Image in Narcissism

As I’ve written before, some narcissists are truly “legends in their own minds.” They have an opinion of themselves that goes well beyond a positive self-image. Some narcissists are preoccupied with thoughts of brilliance, power, capability, etc. And they desperately want others to see them as special. That’s why they tend to become masters of positive impression management. But others are firmly convinced of their greatness – just ask them!! And they don’t particularly care what others think. That’s because they don’t just think they’re great, they know so. These are the grandiose types of narcissists that I’ve written about often. And contrary to all the overgeneralized information circulating out there about narcissists, these types are a very different breed.

There’s an important, but often overlooked, message in the myth from which we get the term narcissism. Narcissus doesn’t fall in love with himself, at least not his true self. Rather, he falls in love with his image – an image that appears to reflect perfection. And its a reflection of the aspects of image that “the world” seems to regard as perfection. (Physical beauty, prowess, strength, talent, etc. are just some of narcissus’s worldly-revered attributes.)

Again, What’s In An Image?

Years ago, a popular tennis star with a flashy public persona did some comercials for a famous camera company. He made the point that good cameras capture faithful images. And then, in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek manner, he asserted: after all, image is everything!” Some thought this a playful way to dismiss critics who complained that the player’s image as a star exceeded his actual professional accumen. But there’s a grain of truth in what he said. For some folks, what they’re determined to have you think of them is more important than who they actually are. And that’s why, in our age of character disturbance, it’s more important than ever to mindfully vet character. Too many folks enter relationships thinking they know who someone is (i.e. believing their “hype”) only to learn the truth after much heartache.