Some Thoughts on Gratitude.
Gratitude pays. Abundant research testifies to this. Being grateful can affect daily life in many positive ways. But it’s also essential to developing wholesome character.
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude pays many, rich dividends. But showing gratitude with our actions has even greater benefits. That’s just one reason I list being grateful as the “second commandment” of sound character. (See also: pp. 39-56 in Essentials for the Journey.)
Gratitude and Character
Humble, grateful people live life very differently than do folks who feel entitled and expect much. Grateful folks have an inherent sense of indebtedness. And when you feel indebted, you tend to accept obligations more willingly. It’s just the opposite when you feel entitled. Entitled folks tend to resent feeling obliged. In fact, they primarily want others to oblige them! Such folks tend expect a lot, and to give little.
Narcissists of all types tend to possess attitudes of entitlement of one degree or another. And they tend to have poor attitudes toward gratitude. Their mindset is that the world owes them, and they owe little.
Finding the Heart for Gratitude in an Age and Culture of Entitlement
We live in a time where most cultures are steeped in attitudes of entitlement. And that’s just one reason we have so many entitled, narcissistic folks among us.
See also:
From a character standpoint, gratitude pays, and abundantly so. But an entitlement culture promotes – and even rewards – values and behaviors toxic to sound character. In such a culture, one finds it easy to be selfish, greedy, and concerned primarily with what one can get or finagle.
Because there’s a dynamic interaction between culture and character, there’s only one way to change things. And that’s one heart at a time, beginning with our own. With that in mind, let’s all strive to be more grateful. Not just in this special holiday season but all year long.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Not grateful, just, a VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM
Never accountable just a VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM
Never sorry, just a VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM,
Never wrong, just a VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM,VICTIM
So true.
Of course they see our gratitude and inherent sense of indebtedness as a weakness to exploit.
How’s the fitness goals going?
Hope you are having a peaceful thanksgiving.
Mindful
Thank you for your enquiry. I am ok. I eat a M.E.D.S diet M=meat, E=eggs, D=dairy and S= seafood and vegetables, so my fitness is good.
Have a Good Holidays season
Keep the faith
Cast Away” A poem written by Paul Manning.
Lost in an ocean of sadness, in tides of loneliness,
to know that no other human feels as I do.
No other knows my yearning soul or my heart,
so as to understand and heal me.
And yet to be castaway is no bad thing,
for then I may come to know who I really am,
inspired by natures wisdom,
given to me freely as a gift.
Sorrow will come and past loves,
will haunt my mind and dreams,
and songs of sorrow such as,
this will make me weep.
To bear all the pain of the world,
it’s sufferings, will it cleanse me somehow?
Will it let happiness pervade over me,
as a protective angel watches over from afar?
How can this muse of wonderful lonely music make me more human?
And yet it does.
Thank you so much to D, Charlie & Priscilla for talking me through the gas lit fog!
Your patience in “listening” and calm reminders were excellent guideposts to help me navigate through the minefield. She combines tactics and is so subtle and convincing!
I’m alone, so it really helps to bounce it off folks who understand.
She included her new address (still out of state, thank heaven), which, I realize was in addition to her ramping up contact, what felt like pressure to respond.
Thanks again and Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you as well Mindful.
In all the years of coming to this site my experiences with my chosen family and friends has finally evolved into relationships I’ve always deserved. I’ve become desensitized to the ones who try to add more to their posse and paint me as the villain. I sleep soundly because I’ve whittled out the ones who once created terrible angst in my life.
Yesterday I had an email from someone whom I’ve known for 39 years. We are polar opposites but somehow we make it work and I know it’s because we don’t have an agenda we simply like each other’s company. We have lengthy discussions by email and manage to see each other once or twice a year. I hadn’t received a reply to my last email and it had been awhile so I was wondering how I might’ve or could’ve offended her. I said I was relieved to hear why she took so long to respond and she said, “I would tell you if I was offended and I definitely don’t want to lose you as a friend.” I responded with the same sentiment. It was that easy. No silent treatments, no gaslighting, no made up perceptions. We are two friends who give each other grace.
I think I will always come back here if not for advice then to listen to experiences. I wish peace of mind for you Mindful, to put to rest the situation you’re in with your daughter. We never forget but the strength of those memories are weakened when we find the right solution for ourselves. I enjoy talking to you and hearing your thoughtful words.
And thank you Dr. Simon for creating this safe place.