Ego Massage Artists Can Charm

Ego Massage Artists

Ego massage artists can make you feel special. In fact, they can charm you off your feet. Most everyone enjoys affirmation. It feels good when someone tells you how wonderful you are. But it’s all too easy to equate such affirmation with love. And that’s just one way folks succumb to a charming narcissist’s seductive ploys.

Ego massage artists know very well what they’re doing. And they intuitively have acute radar for particularly affirmation-needy hearts. Some describe how they operate at the outset of a relationship as “love-bombing.” But this popular cliche is misleading, because seduction through ego massage has very little to do with genuine love. By correct definition, real love requires selfless intention, willing labor, dedication, and commitment. (See also: the relevant chapters in Essentials for the Journey.)

Ego Massage and Charm

Ego massage is a skill. It’s all about making you feel worthwhile, valued. But if you already know your value and where it righfully comes from, it will have little effect on you. (See again: Essentials for the Journey.) (And see also:  Finding Yourself and Your Self-Worth Too.) By contrast, however, if your sense of self-worth is lacking, you can come under the charmer’s spell. And depending on how charming and charismatic your seducer is, the deeper you’re likely to be spellbound.

Putting the Charmer to the Test

Heaping praise, attention, and affirmation on someone is easy. And it’s a much easier path to a needy heart than is genuine love. Genuine love requires character. In our character impaired times, it’s crucial that we remember this. You have to put your charmer to the test, and early on in the relationship. If you don’t, you’re likely to find out who they really are and what they’re really capable of after it’s too late.

Your Need Plays a Role

It takes two to make a relationship. And while seducers are often good at what they do, they still require willing (albeit unwittingly willing) accomplices. Make no mistake, I’m not victim blaming here. The tactics skilled seducers and manipulators use are powerful. (That’s why I wrote In Sheep’s Clothing!) But your needs, expectations, level of self-development, understanding of real love and character, etc. also play vital roles in what is destined to unfold within a relationship. And that’s just one reason I wrote Essentials for the Journey.

I talk more about these issues on the latest Character Matters podcast.

One thought on “Ego Massage Artists Can Charm

  1. I agree with everything you are saying here, I was just talking about responsible attitudes need to be maintained even when someone is acting irresponsible towards you.
    We don’t have to answer to and address slander, gossip and lies coming from character disordered people.
    You are definitely correct Dr. Simon when you say they can do a lot of damage though!
    I need prayer today. Going through the hurt again!

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