Drs Carter and Simon Discuss All Things Narcissism

All Things Narcissism

When it comes to narcissism, it seems there’s an expert around every corner. But only a handful of professionals really “get it” with respect this menace of our time. Bestselling author Dr. Les Carter is one of those rare individuals. And I had the privilege of having him interview me on one of his recent podcasts. (You can access the interview with this link to his YouTube channel.) On the podcast, we did indeed discuss all things narcissism. But the topic being what it is, we could have spent all day!

I’ve given many interviews. But this one was special. Dr. Carter and I sometimes use different terms, but we describe the same realities. Those realities involve perspectives that differ considerably from those taught during our professional training. But both experience and abundant recent research validate these perspectives. The nature and prevalence of character disturbance have significantly changed the intervention game. And that’s as true for the victims toxic relationships seeking help as it is for the toxic personalities themselves. As most have found, traditional approaches aren’t very helpful.

Hope For The Future

One of the things I really enjoyed during the interview was sharing Dr. Carter’s optimism. There is ever increasing hope for persons once in narcissistic relationships. Increasingly, therapists are coming to understand the impact disturbed characters of all types have on their relationship partners. And they understand the special help these folks need to fully recover and empower themselves, and reclaim a vibrant life. (See: Moving On After An Abusive Relationship.)

One of the things Dr. Carter emphasized and that I was one of the first professionals to point out, is that folks largely succumb to manipulation because they don’t trust their gut. At a rational level they’re too swayed by the covert-aggressor’s excuses, other-blaming, self victim-casting, etc.. Folks get duped partly because of how they were taught to regard these behaviors. Exposing the tactics and the nefarious characters who use them for what they really are is largely why In Sheep’s Clothing became an international phenomenon. (Mira, tambien: Lobos con Piel de Cordero.) Nearly twenty-eight years later, savvy therapists are still discovering this powerful perspective-shifting narrative. And this does my heart more good than you can possibly imagine.

Please take the time to watch the interview and to pass the link on to others you think might benefit from the discussion. And tune in to this week’s edition of Character Matters for a discussion on conscience and character.

5 thoughts on “Drs Carter and Simon Discuss All Things Narcissism

  1. This was a wonderfully informative discussion, George. I have been following Dr Carter’s YouTube videos to help me deal with a difficult family issue and it was great to see you with him yesterday.

  2. Enjoyed it. Really like Dr. Carter’s approach. Very down to earth and a straight shooter. I appreciate his explanations and instructions/guides on how to approach these folks as well as how to heal from them. He doesn’t beat around the bush, but uses compassion and empathy to deliver the message. Watched a bunch and will watch more!

    Fav so far is Healing From The Damage Caused By A Narcissist. Was healing.

  3. Great interview. I like to hear different ways of describing narcissistic types of behavior, such as the term “covert aggressors”. I know a few of them, and their personalities are completely different from each other. One is very grandiose, & the other 2 are covert narcs, each is definitely aggressive, but all have their strong positive sides. I found it especially helpful to hear that the “covert aggressors” are aware of what they are doing, but usually don’t feel a need to change. Like, they are ok with, and happy with themselves, which is what I observe, they are completely unmotivated to change. There’s more content that is helpful but I’ll leave it at that. Thanks very much to you both, Dr Carter and Dr Simon.

  4. Dear Dr. Simon – I watched your discussion with Dr. Carter “In Sheep’s clothing” and it speaks to my heart. I knew and thought the man I married to has some narcissistic traits or a few character flaws like most of us do. However a recent event watching him how he schemed through the process, completely twist the facts to blame shifting on me and lied in front of my face and my most trusted friends made me seriously doubt if my husband has a decent conscience. It is scary to realize the man you lived with for 20 years may have no moral standard at all; and the fact that he would do anything to control the situation including to lie, to shame, to alienate and to betray you is more hurtful than any words can explain. It’s been a difficult marriage but this recent event made me rethinking about the reality.

    I’m debating if I need to leave this relationship, and how to draw a wise boundary if I have to stay for our children. What’s your advices for me? Do you know any psychologists who are experienced with treating NPD who you can recommend please?

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