All Things Narcissism
When it comes to narcissism, it seems there’s an expert around every corner. But only a handful of professionals really “get it” with respect this menace of our time. Bestselling author Dr. Les Carter is one of those rare individuals. And I had the privilege of having him interview me on one of his recent podcasts. (You can access the interview with this link to his YouTube channel.) On the podcast, we did indeed discuss all things narcissism. But the topic being what it is, we could have spent all day!
I’ve given many interviews. But this one was special. Dr. Carter and I sometimes use different terms, but we describe the same realities. Those realities involve perspectives that differ considerably from those taught during our professional training. But both experience and abundant recent research validate these perspectives. The nature and prevalence of character disturbance have significantly changed the intervention game. And that’s as true for the victims toxic relationships seeking help as it is for the toxic personalities themselves. As most have found, traditional approaches aren’t very helpful.
Hope For The Future
One of the things I really enjoyed during the interview was sharing Dr. Carter’s optimism. There is ever increasing hope for persons once in narcissistic relationships. Increasingly, therapists are coming to understand the impact disturbed characters of all types have on their relationship partners. And they understand the special help these folks need to fully recover and empower themselves, and reclaim a vibrant life. (See: Moving On After An Abusive Relationship.)
One of the things Dr. Carter emphasized and that I was one of the first professionals to point out, is that folks largely succumb to manipulation because they don’t trust their gut. At a rational level they’re too swayed by the covert-aggressor’s excuses, other-blaming, self victim-casting, etc.. Folks get duped partly because of how they were taught to regard these behaviors. Exposing the tactics and the nefarious characters who use them for what they really are is largely why In Sheep’s Clothing became an international phenomenon. (Mira, tambien: Lobos con Piel de Cordero.) Nearly twenty-eight years later, savvy therapists are still discovering this powerful perspective-shifting narrative. And this does my heart more good than you can possibly imagine.
Please take the time to watch the interview and to pass the link on to others you think might benefit from the discussion. And tune in to this week’s edition of Character Matters for a discussion on conscience and character.