Love’s True Nature
It would seem like everyone would instinctively understand the true nature of love. But discerning exactly what this thing called love actually is turns out to be quite the challenge. And that’s mainly because geuine love has many “close cousins” and “imposters.” These confuse us. Ask someone to define love, and you’ll get a variety of answers. And, sadly, many who profess to either have it or to have experienced it, are still starving for it.
Our understanding of the nature of love often comes from our formative experiences. How a culture sees love shapes our understanding, too. And in shallow, narcissistic times, it’s natural for us to view love in relatively shallow, distorted ways.
Love’s “Close Cousins”
I’ve said before that love has many “close cousins.” In other words, some sentiments look an awful lot like love, and are often welcome companions of love. But in themselves, they’re not love. And when they’re mistaken for love, trouble can follow, especially when it comes to intimate relationships.
I’ve also said that love has many “imposters.” These are behaviors a person can display that anyone can easily mistake for love. Sometimes the mistake is yours, simply because you never experienced the real thing and just don’t know how to distinguish it. But many times it’s because a person possessing positive impression management skill deceives you. They do that by pouring on all the close cousin and imposter behaviors they can to win your heart. (These days, this is commonly called “love-bombing.”) And you don’t realize how incapable of real love they are until later. (See, also: Manipulative Seduction Takes Many Forms.)
Why This Is So Important
Love is the most powerful force on earth. It has the power to grow, create, construct, heal, etc. And the world is in desperate need of it, perhaps more so than ever. That’s why knowing the true nature of love is so important.
A New Series
As I mentioned on the latest Character Matters Podcast, today’s post inaugurates a new series on the true nature of love. I’ll be presenting some new, more in-depth material on the topic as well as referencing past articles. I hope you’ll avail yourself of all of the material. And I hope we have a lively discussion about things on the next live edition of Character Matters.
You can also find an in-depth reflection on the true nature of love in the concluding chapters of Essentials for the Journey.