Manipulation almost always involves deception. And manipulators are among the most clever, accomplished liars. They raise lying to nearly an art form. Manipulators don’t just deceive you about who they are. They also deceive you about what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. Manipulation and deception go hand in hand. Some disturbed characters go far beyond irreverence for the truth. They actually disdain the truth. It gets in their way. And because having their way is their main agenda, they lie to accomplish it. That’s what covert-aggression is all about.
The “Mask” of Civility
Manipulative personalities want you to think well of them. So, they can put on a convincing social facade of civility. But underneath they’re ruthless connivers – out to get the better of you while “looking good” doing it. Sometimes, you can see through their shallowness and superficial time. But sometimes you can’t. And it’s not always your fault when you can’t. Some folks are simply really good at the “art” of “impression management.” You might eventually learn who they really are and what they’re really all about. But that’s usually long after they’ve already “conned” you. It’s like getting whiplash. You know what’s happened after the damage is already done.
Honesty and Character
It’s not enough to just to be willing to admit the truth. Many folks will do that, especially after they’ve been caught lying. Rather, it’s more important to truly revere the truth. A solid character knows the value of the truth – its power to heal, to empower, and to free. But it’s always a choice to embrace the truth. And that’s a choice truly decent characters freely make. Where future manipulators go wrong in their character development is the adverse relationship they develop with the truth. Determined as they are, they often see the truth as being in their way. And they learn early on how to play fast and loose with it to get what they want. Over time, they become strangers to the truth about themselves and the truth about their intentions. And they learn how to pull the wool over the eyes of others.
More on Manipulation and Character
Character Matters on Sunday July 31, 2016 will be a rebroadcast of an earlier program. So, I will not be able to take your phone calls.