Character Disorder Experts Are Hard to Find

Finding the Right Help Can Be Quite Challenging

Character disorder experts are hard to find. Just ask anyone who’s tried to find one. Sure, many therapists will say they understand personality and character disturbances. But then when you go to them for help you find they just don’t get it at all. In fact, you might even experience therapy-induced trauma. That happens when the therapist wholly or partly faults you. Worse, they might even take the side of your character-disturbed partner! (Many disturbed characters are very skilled at the art of impression management.) There’s nothing worse than mustering the courage to seek help only to feel let down or beaten up.

Another Year of Consultations

This year, more folks than ever have contacted me for consultations. And, as always, it’s been particularly edifying work for me. The consultations are not formal therapy or assessment. Nor do they directly advise on how to solve specific problems. Rather, they give me an opportunity to expand upon and clarify the principles I write about in all my books and articles. And they give me a forum to coach folks on how to best put those principles into practice and empower themselves. Nothing brings me greater satisfaction than helping empower folks who’ve been in one-down positions.

I’m very grateful for all the kind words that have come my way this past year. And I’m especially grateful to those who sent well-wishes my way after a consultation. But something very unusual has happened this year about which I’m happily surprised. More folks than ever have contacted me who’ve struggled with character impairments. These folks finally came to a place in their life where they knew they had to change. And because they couldn’t find the help they needed, they sought me out. (Remember, genuine character disorder experts are hard to find!) And I’m happy to say that a fair number of them have made some impressive strides. Change is hard. And it’s particularly hard for folks whose problem ways of thinking and acting have become engrained.

Some Very Special Things Are in the Works

The most frequent inquiries I get have to do with finding the right kind of help. Folks ask me if I know someone in their area who “gets it” with respect to character disturbance. I know character disorder experts are hard to find. And long ago I considered 2 things: certifying professionals who’d completed training at one of my workshops, and maintaining a referral roster. Both things quickly proved virtually impossible. But times and circumstances have changed! And soon I’ll be in talks with a company that will help develop a curriculum  certify therapists. I’ll keep you posted on developments.

Work is also under way on my new studio that should be ready for various types of podcasting early next year. A new Character Matters will hit the podcast cybersphere. And 2 new programs, including a U-Tube-based TV program will debut. Stay tuned for more information on those things.

Well-Wishes for the Season

It’s hard to believe another year is fast coming to a close. It’s been an exciting year, and on many fronts. I’ll be doing less traveling next year, and more consultations. And, as I mentioned, I’ll be back on the air – at least in cyberspace. And there’s a special purpose for revising the former Character Matters program. As you may know, I’ve long been working on a re-write of a book on the 10 Commandments of Character. The new programs will help in that effort. Content from the programs will help in that re-write, hastening the day for its eventual release.

My sincerest best wishes to all the readers (both of this blog and my books and other works). May this holiday season be full of joy and good fortune. May your lives be free of unnecessary hardship and pain. I owe everything to you. For 24 years, one-person telling another about my books and other work has given me the career of a lifetime. (The first edition of In Sheep’s Clothing debuted in 1995!) So, in the coming years, I’m going to do my best to give back with what I feel I have to offer.

 

5 thoughts on “Character Disorder Experts Are Hard to Find

  1. I’m happy to hear that you are working toward developing curriculum to certify therapists. And thank-you for putting out information in the various ways you do.

  2. Dr. Simon,
    I went to a therapist in 2016 who asked me if I could just pretend that my spouse isn’t really lying just for a little while? I said no I really can’t I’m pretty sure that’s called enabling??? But I’m not the professional. His colleague had him counseling us and when he didn’t know how to handle something he basically just didn’t and the next session he would try something I’m sure his colleague told him to try.
    It’s a bleak world of “professionals” out there.
    I was watching a dateline the other day and the cops and prosecutor were saying they thought the reason why the guy murdered the people was because he was rejected in life, just like you say Dr. Simon. I told my husband “No, it’s because he wanted to kill them because he is morally sick and character disturbed”. I’ve been rejected plenty in life and I haven’t committed actual murder. I also, haven’t abused others because I was “rejected”.
    Thank you for all your posts Dr. Simon, you are a true Professional as your teaching is morally sound and as it is applied in our own lives brings actual Peace and Healing like God’s Word!!! Thank you and God Bless You!

    1. Priscilla,

      I second the whole “it’s a bleak world of “professionals” out there.” I met multiple incredibly character-disordered individuals who have their masters in social work, or are licensed doctors, or licensed psychiatrists or licensed nurses. It’s a bottom of the barrel kind of crowd. Lost all respect and regard for the ‘helping’ professions as well as the credentialing process.

      Look at Nassar. He went through hundreds of victims before losing his medical license. And yet people see letters after a person’s name and get all deferential. I’ve done it too, much to my perpetual harm. Don’t be deferential to the degree or the title. The worst of the worst seem to get the degrees, licenses, etc.

      Such a bleak world of “professionals” out there. And marriage counselors and such are a complete joke and but con artists, scammers. If two people cannot get along, there’s a 95% chance or higher that one of the two people in the so-called ‘marriage’ is but CD and an abuser/ scammer/ user/ manipulator/ predator (use whichever term you prefer).

      Absolutely, Priscilla, I’ve been disgusted with the sheer amount of BS found in so many professional opinions, as to criminals’ and predators’ wounded inner butterflies and tough backgrounds and so on it goes. It’s BS. If the guy isn’t murdering everyone he comes into contact with, but rather selecting his victims and the times/situations when he strikes then he is in control of himself and but a predator.

      Are there damaged individuals? Sure. And you’ll see they have trouble with all their relationships, trouble with multiple areas of their lives. Now, contrast that with the typical predator or abuser who then claims the BS defense of ‘rejection woundedness’ — they function in life, they hide their evil when it suits them and when they do begin talking about their wounded duckling status, rejection-sensitivity, or whatever else have you, it’s because they are looking to spend less time behind bars or downgrade the punishment meted out to them by the law, when finally charged and convicted of a crime.

      I’m tired of those who treat victimizers with grave sensitivity and go into elaborate (BS) explanations and excuses as to why this or that perp did what he did. Know why? Because nobody is concerning themselves to that same degree as to the victims. And don’t claim ‘neutrality’ or ‘fairness’ or ‘even-handedness’ because that always harms victims more and colludes and helps the victimizers.

      I’ve had massive amounts of harm, humiliations, crimes, victimizations, violations, abuse, trauma, and horror inflicted on me and yet I’ve never shot someone up, nor hunted anyone, nor gone and done such things to anyone else.

      Such ‘theories’ and perp-siders enrage me. I loathe them, right alond with the perps themselves. They are one and of the same kind. Loathesome. Detestable.

      Nobody shows that same level of interest and regard to victims. Only perps get such. Victims are victimized in courts, criminal investigations, medical fields, and overall life, again and again.

  3. To All,

    Has anyone dealt with abusers messing with your food – like spitting in it, then mixing in the spit and serving it up and enjoying the victim’s consumption of the tainted item?

    Same goes for doing nastier things to other food and then serving such to the victim and delighting in asking how the food is and if the victim likes it – after waiting for the victim to consume most or all of the deliberately, disgustingly tainted food item?

    I had this done to me so many times. And I’m talking extremely nasty things (not some ‘harmless’ prank of switching out salt for sugar or vice versa). Same with tainting food so that the victim then becomes violently ill. The becoming violently ill wasn’t so bad as the grossness and violation of the truly nasty things that were done to food served to me.

    I think about the movie “The Help” where the maid puts some of her bowel movement into a pie she makes for the woman who fired her and serves it up to her as revenge. I think that is what is was – been a long time since I saw the movie and I was tired when I saw it, so I may not have that right.

    That’s Hollywood and but a movie, but what I had done to me was way worse and on way more occassions.

    Has anyone else experienced such? It’s enough to haunt a person. The evil of it all. The delight and excitement of the victimizers and the innocence and hunger of the victim. And then to play on her politeness, when asked how such food was, she replies that it was good, being grateful and polite and all.

    So many people are so happy to be not only cruel but disgustingly cruel. I remember reading a guy in Walmart was arrested for having sprayed (from a medicine dropper or a needle – without the sharp part of the needle or something like that) a woman with his semen. As disgusting as that would be to have a man put his semen on the back of your shirt, it is at least exterior and she could burn the shirt or throw it away or whatever.

    Anyone else have nasty things served up to them? Repeatedly??

  4. So happy to hear of all your good news Sr. Simon. This is going to be your year! Thank you for all your amazing work. I’ve read all your books now working through the blogs!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *