Channeling Anger in Healthy Ways

Channeling Anger

Channeling anger in healthy ways is a major key to personal empowerment. But you have to first appreciate the true nature of this highly misunderstood emotion.

Our limbic systems are “hardwired” to experience both fear and anger. Fear is our innate response to a situation in which we perceive danger. And anger is our innate response to a situation we perceive as unjust. Both emotions prompt us to take action in our self-interest. When it comes to a dangerous situation we have two basic choices: fight or flee. And when it comes to unjust situations, we can either lash out or take other action to rectify things. Now, fighting for what’s right in a properly disciplined way is inherently empowering. It’s the very heart of assertiveness. (See: Aggressive and Assertive Behavior.) (See also: Principled Fighting Defines Assertiveness.)

Anger Management?

I mentioned earlier that anger is generally a highly misunderstood emotion. Some regard anger as simply a bad thing. But as I mentioned, in reality, it’s nature’s way of propelling us into corrective action.

Now, of course, anger can be problematic. Too much anger too much of the time can be really bad for your health. But anger is rarely a problem in itself. Besides, most of the time, with disturbed characters, anger is not the core problem. Even how anger is expressed is not the core problem. Rather, undisciplined agression is the usual culprit. And as strange as it may seem, most of the time that aggression is not fueled by anger but by desire.

Now, I know what I’ve just asserted above about anger and agression seems counterintuitive. After all, we all know anger and aggression go together. But they don’t always go together the way most of us believe. True, aggression can indeed flow from anger. (And that’s the principle by which most anger management programs operate.) But in many disturbed characters, the anger they show is more often the result of frustration they experience in their inordinately aggressive pursuit of their goals. Aggressive characters don’t go on the march because they’re angry. They go on the march because that’s just what they like to do. They get angry (or even rageful) whenever anyone or anything gets in their way. (See also: Aggressive Personalities and Managing Anger and Aggression.)

The Folly of Focusing on Outcomes

Channeling anger in productive ways requires that we give up focusing on outcomes. Doing this is harder than it might seem. When we’re in an unhealthy relationship, we tend to focus on what might happen or what the other person might do when we take a particular action. However, concerning oneself with outcomes is not only energy-draining but also a truly dead-end path. You’re always second-guessing. And you tie up all your attention and energy in matters you can’t possibly control anyway. (This is the behavioral “formula” for depression!) Fuming, lashing out, protesting, etc. might give you a moment’s relief, but ultimately, won’t make your situation better.

Channeling anger productively means directing your attention and energy only where you have power.  You have the power to act – to take actions in your own behalf. And while you might very well anticipate some of the shenanigans a toxic current or former partner might engage in, to allow those actions to dictate your response only keeps you a hostage. To be truly free and empowered, you have to do what you know to be in your best interest in virtual indifference to the antics of the person at risk of losing power. Disturbed character generally don’t take losing easily. So, it’s natural for them to fight. You can expect it. But it needn’t stop you. (Still, some abuse situations require special consideration. See: p. 109 in Character Disturbance.)

Character Matters

Announcements are coming soon about the new Character Matters podcasts.  I’ll also be announcing a new way for folks to directly ask questions and get answers on the program.

I’ll also be giving a number of interviews on other programs in the coming days and weeks. First up, is an interview giving Veronika Archer in just a few days, to be podcast in September. Stay tuned for further details.

 

20 thoughts on “Channeling Anger in Healthy Ways

  1. Dear Dr. Simon,

    Learning from you and your readers about how CA/CD has afflicted many other lives has helped me recognize many of the same familiar patterns in my own life. Much of the emotional fog, confusion and anxiety that I’ve felt for years has begun to lift with the awareness that CA/Narcissist manipulation has been used by several family members throughout my life. Growing up, I was always made to feel overly sensitive, stubborn or uncooperative for questioning CA behavior. Fast forward 40 years and nothing much has changed in that regard. Favor is given to those who are eager to feed an insatiable appetite for dominance and control, even in the face of obvious lies, manipulation and cover-ups.

    At first, discovering this truth felt like a saving grace at a time when the usual distractions of an otherwise busy life became sidelined due to Covid, forcing me to face the unpleasant realities that have contributed to feeling angry, resentful and depressed – and guilty because I have so much to feel happy, grateful and positive about.

    But rather than feel happy and liberated, I feel bitter and bogged down in negative emotions about the situation for reasons I don’t understand. Is hopelessness and defeat at the root of it? Is it grief for the loss of something? I feel as if my feet are stuck in quick sand while life is passing by.

    Despite much success in many areas of my life, years of enduring narcissistic rage and false opinions about me have undermined my perception of reality and myself. Do people in these situations devolve into CA personalities themselves in order to level the playing field and survive their environment? If so, what are some ways to break the cycle and avoid getting caught up again? Is no contact the only path to freedom from anger and resentment?

    1. Quite simply, think of CA/CD people as being poison. You don’t want it, no matter how much perfume the manufacturer puts into their product. Sure, it smells nice, but that’s there to disguise the poison of it all. Don’t bathe in it. Don’t drink it. Get away from it.

      You don’t want to be poison either. No matter how much the world encourages this, don’t go down the toxic road of becoming more like poison. Refuse. Disregard poisonous people’s criticisms of you. Celebrate your differences from poison people. Different is good, no matter how devalued the world makes it.

      If it was this straightforward, few would slip. But it’s not. Because poisonous people are masters of deception, manipulation, etc.

      Think of your death bed. On that day, when you’re dying, are you going to be wishing you had those poisonous people crowded around your death bed? No. Hopefully not. You’ve seen the light. You display clear intelligence in your manner of speech. No contact is where it’s at. Think of poison — you don’t play with it, you don’t cuddle it, you get rid of it or otherwise flee from it.

      People argue there is so much gray in life but I dispute such. Either a person is a child of God or such person is a child of the devil. Devil-children are great at inducing brain fog, laying traps, duping, deceiving, manipulating, coercing, and so forth. And their prey suffer tremendous damage and sometimes are murdered by it all.

      Point being, once you’ve identified a person as CA/CD, don’t seek to be like them. Don’t seek to understand them. There is no truth in them. Regardless of how potent the fragrance is that’s been added to mask the poison, it’s still poison.

      Better to live alone in the wilderness than to be surrounded by poisonous people. Your discomfort is sensible. Poisonous people suck. No eloquence here and I’m not a worldly successful person such as yourself, but my advice is free and for that price, you can’t beat it.

      1. It’s true that CA/CD people are like poison and should be avoided at all costs, but it’s not always possible because, as Dr. Simon writes about, this is becoming more prevalent in society – at work, in sports, with neighbors, in families, etc. It’s not always possible to stay completely away. I sometimes find myself responding in kind as a way to even the playing field, but that only provides momentary relief, often followed by guilt (self inflicted or imposed). As I’ve learned, CA/CD people don’t like being treated the same way and instead see it as a challenge, not a lesson. They will also use it as evidence that you are the perpetrator and they are the victim, which only leads to further conflict, not resolution. It seems like a no-win situation. As I become more adept at spotting CA/CD people, I make every effort to avoid them like the plague (with less guilt now than before about being distant and unsocial). However, certain situations are more difficult to avoid, such as work, sports, family gatherings, etc., when interaction is unavoidable. And families present an even greater challenges because CA/CD people tend to compete for ALL the relationships to build their harem of support. Countering that effort is exhausting and manipulative in and of itself. The only option seems to be to let go and trust that others can decipher for themselves what is really going on. Even then, I’ve experienced CA/CD people try to sabotage the supportive relationships in my life, either by competing to win them over directly (to triangulate and further alienate me), or by undermining their character and credibility if they display any support for the other side. As much as I would prefer to have no contact with all CA/CD people, it doesn’t seem entirely possible. So I’m left feeling angry, resentful and stuck. I’m beginning to wonder if my feelings of anger and resentment are at myself for not being able to unplug from it. Are there alternative ways to manage unavoidable CA/CD people without further compromising myself or becoming one of them?

        1. I’m with you on all that you said, and you say it so well. Thanks for writing your comment as it helped me to identify with my process and I see that my experiences, feelings, etc. are/were similar, if not the same.

          And they do compete to make sure you have no support, and for those who resist their efforts, they become targets, too.

          And there’s a lot of bad advice out there, urging you to do unto them as they did to you, in an effort to level the playing field, or at least simply not be a total doormat 100 percent of the time. Problem is, the wicked seize such and magnify such and use it as “evidence” as to you being the perp and they being the victim. Happens with battered women all the time, so much so, it’s called DARVO, deny abuse, attack the victim’s credibility (accuse her of being crazy, a liar, vengeful, vindictive, mean, or bitter), and reverse victim and offender roles (abuser claims to be the true victim, and makes his target into being the perp).

          I don’t know that there is a solution or strategy. I, myself, look forward to death. No sickos, abusers, perps, etc. are going to be in heaven. If, by chance, a rarity of rarities occurs and one in a million miraculously repents and turns from evil and is born again, perhaps then, indeed, they’ll be going to heaven, but that’s like needle in a haystack kind of chances, in my estimation at least.

          I think it’s healthy that you feel angry, resentful, and stuck. Because you are, as is all the other victims/targets/prey of the world. I don’t think it’s possible to avoid the wicked as they make up most of the population. The true, genuinely ‘good eggs’ are very rare. That’s my experience, at least.

          Perhaps you are a genuine Christian and a true child of God and I think God’s children will always be targeted and until they get to sleep and then go home to glory, life is going to generally such because the devil’s children will make it that way.

          Jesus was described as a man of sorrows. It’s hard to not be sorrowful in this wretched world. Children of God have to trek the difficult, narrow path to their heavenly home, whereas the children of the devil are traveling a wide and well-traveled path to hell.

          I don’t know. You’re a successful person. I’m not. Take it with a grain of salt. But yes, I do believe the good eggs should not flog themselves with guilt, etc. in safeguarding themselves and probably living a pretty separate and ‘anti-social’ (which isn’t the correct version of the word, but it’s thrown around often enough that I think you get the meaning) life. Otherwise you risk becoming too much of prey and being harmed to the point of disability and debility which is where I am. So arm up. Don’t be nice. Stay guarded. Otherwise you might find yourself with a bunch of psychopaths ruining you in sadistic, strategic, torturous glee.

          I’m sure Dr. Simon will comment. Or perhaps not.

          1. Also, I think there might be a Bible verse for where you mentioned in your original comment about the CA/CD undermining your opinion of yourself, it’s something to the effect of the wicked have no words of wisdom or there is not truth in them and if you think about it, the wicked, who Dr. Simon calls CA/CD but I call wicked, aren’t children of God, they have no worthwhile knowledge or respectable opinions that we should take note of because they don’t bow down to, worship, and revere and love God. I hope I am remembering correctly that there is a Bible verse to that effect as I don’t want to misrepresent God’s Holy Word, not adding or subtracting anything.

            Perhaps another reader knows of the Bible verse I’m thinking of.

  2. Thank you for your insights. They’re quite inspirational and not to be taken with a grain of salt whatsoever. The comment about the narrow path to heaven vs. the wide path to hell is especially profound. Life has much to offer and we should all be allowed to enjoy it fully, but not in a vacuum and not at each other’s expense (as we see happening a lot these days).

    Your faith is more grounded than mine, but not for lack of trying in my case. While I’ve done my best to walk my own path with God, that’s been undermined too by those who use faith as another weapon in their arsenal — either by claiming superiority over it or putting others down for having it. They claim to know God “better” and walk with him “closer”, or they ridicule it entirely, but are quick to point out your faults and need to “forgive and forget” (which they often say and never do). It’s just another attempt at sucking in all the support for themselves, one way or another, in order to leave you with no where to turn.

    The term DARVO is a new and interesting one to me (deny abuse, and reverse victim and offender roles). I’ve seen it happen many times and never knew it had a name. My family is notorious for this, going back generations, actually. That’s why I’m searching for answers. Is this genetic, or learned behavior? Am I destined to live with it forever and pass it on? It scares me to think this will get passed on to our collective children, or that the dysfunction will seem normal and they will choose mates who have CA/CD/NPD traits, as well (as I’ve done all too often). The cycle has to end somewhere and if it’s learned, I hope to end it here (at least in my case and my own family’s).

    As for solutions and strategies to cope, there ought to be classes on this taught in elementary school, like reading and writing, and newer subjects on internet safety and such. This is truly becoming a necessary life skill. Perhaps Dr. Simon is already working on championing that and will cover it in more depth in his upcoming podcasts.

    In the meantime, I came across a Ted Talk by Ariel Leve on the topic of gas lighting and emotional abuse (see it on YouTube). It was quite powerful and helped me to understand what drives the anger and resentment, and what strategies she used to cope. She has also written a memoir called “An Abbreviated Life” about the emotional wear and tear of growing up with a famous mother who claimed to adore her, but demeaned and discarded her constantly (gas lighting). Inserting hyperlinks to these sources may not be allowed but a quick search should produce the results.

    I enjoy keeping a list of insights and sayings that are particularly inspirational to me. Upon inserting the latest one offered above (about the narrow path to heaven vs. the wide, well-traveled path to hell – thank you), I revisited others already on my list. I have shared some here for anyone who might find them as comforting as I did (sources are unknown):

    “You will meet two kinds of people in life: ones who build you up and ones who tear you down. You’ll thank them both.”

    “You have two lives to live. The second one starts when you realize you only have one.”

    “Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.”

    1. I just recalled something else Ariel Leve said in her Ted Talk or maybe it was in her book. She said she stopped feeling all emotions because even allowing herself to feel happy emotions risked her feeling bad ones. She also said detaching and separating herself assured her safety. CA and gas lighting behavior does undermine one’s happiness and sense of trust/safety, which eventually comes off as lacking empathy for others, which CA/CD people like to point out and twist. I think that drives much of my own anger and resentment because I developed a need to keep my accomplishments and happiness to myself due to intentional sabotage to overshadow and dismiss them promptly. In fact, it’s become so predictable that I began having a plan B in place to counteract the sabotage, or don’t share my happy occasions at all. Again, further sources of anger and frustration because it seems that CA/Narc’s always get their way (by lying and manipulating), while others are left holding their bag of “!@#$%.”

      1. Yes, ceasing feeling all emotions and stuffing them is indeed a strategy. I’ve done it. It’s often a very good survival technique because otherwise you’ll be in so much pain that you’ll involuntarily come to a ‘numb and dumb’ point where the pain basically stupifies you.

        Keeping one’s accomplishments and happiness to oneself is smart. Perhaps if you let go of your expectations of people being better than they are, it might lessen your anger and frustration. Expect people to be wicked CDs. In the event that a rare person comes along who is not evil, you’ll have all the more joy in having found them/encountered them.

        1. Yes, one of my good friends keeps reminding me that good people tend to think that others think like they do, so they let down their guard and are disappointed when they are left holding the bag. It is true.

          1. The assumption that others are like you is a huge pitfall. I get snagged by this time and time again. Evil confounds a person who is not evil. I find it very helpful and very painful to read Psalms and Proverbs again and again, as there it was — truth, how could I have not read such earlier to a point of memorization?!

            Assume most people are children of the devil. I think it’s appropriate, true, and probably just about the only survival strategy I can think of at the moment. Try to never need anyone. And even if people are good, situational forces can tip them over into acting badly. Flying monkeys are sometimes otherwise good people who were badly duped, deceived, and manipulated into becoming proxies of abuse for a monster. Most flying monkeys are abusers, criminals, predators, and perps themselves, but every now and then, there are a few flying monkeys who are roped into hating on someone innocent because an evildoer conned them into believing the evildoer was the real victim of their prey/target.

            It has been said that cheaters are very untrusting of their ‘partners’ (prey/victims) and assume cheating when there is none because they themselves are cheaters and know how easy it is to get away with it.

            Lots of married men who are cheaters will be actively cheating and then falsely accuse their wives of doing exactly what they themselves are doing.

    2. It’s not me, it’s from the Bible.

      Matthew 7:13-20
      13″Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

      And people need to get really serious about their relationship with God and the care of the soul because death can come at any time and eternity lasts forever. So, choose your eternal home. Most ‘c’hristians will not be going to heaven, either. They are counterfeits. I don’t care if they sit in the pews every Sunday, as there are plenty of wife-beaters who do just that and then go home to further terrorize the wife as their Sunday evening entertainment.

      Matthew 7:15-20
      15″Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

      The 2nd paragraph you wrote — you’re not alone. There’s too many churches which are actually dens of demons (in disguise, of course, parading as eminent saints) and there’s so much false teaching churned out. And mega-churches don’t get their attendance numbers to be so sky-high by preaching God’s Word faithfully. Abusers are the majority of the general population. Abusers aren’t going to go to a church where they’ll be correctly identified as children of the devil. No, they want the “forgive and forget” “grace on steroids” “we’re all sinners” “judge not!” messaging with Jesus being some hippie who was all ‘peace, love, grace on steroids’ but such are false teachings. Distorted Scripture. And all sorts of things going wrong.

      There is a Pastor who really gets it and who blogs about abusers (most abusers are male and battered women get so badly mistreated by churches with their false teachings of ‘no divorce ever’ ‘submit more, pray harder, turn the other cheek’ and victim-blaming and victim-shaming and coddling abusers with abundant ‘grace’) and notions such as “forget and forgive” are tackled. Pastor Crippen is his name. His church can be found on Lightfordarktimes DOT com and SermonAudio DOT com/crc and UnholyCharade DOT com is where so much substance can be found.

      I have a theory about the mate selection of CDs (the wicked, as I call them). Battered women will often have more than one man abuse her in life and she’ll find herself being blamed and shamed by society, as though she goes out looking to find herself a man who will beat her, abuse her, and make her want to die. Contrary to public opinion, it’s not the woman’s fault. These abusers are so slick. They don’t go after the ‘B-words’ of society. They don’t marry female CDs (wicked women). No, no, no. They target the good eggs of the female population. And they become the most amazing partners, in luring, duping, deceiving, and tricking these good eggs into a relationship with them. Wife-beaters don’t punch the woman on the first date. They pretend to be these great guys, these wonderful catches. It’s all fake, a lie, a scam, a con. And even when the guy proves to be a wicked man, and even goes so far as to do the murder-suicide route, what do so many say in the newspaper? ‘He was the nicest man’ ‘She must have done something to provoke it, to cause him to lose control’ ‘He must have been stressed over money or a job loss’ ‘He was the greatest guy, I can’t believe it, he was so polite, respectful, and just the best neighbor one could ask for’

      I saw the Youtube video about gaslighting, too. I didn’t know about a book. Thanks for sharing that. I’ll have to check it out.

      But there is some truth about growing up in wife-beating household, as many studies show the sons of wife-beaters grow up to be just like their evil dads. And there is something to be said about wickedness being normalized and tolerated. So many battered women are led to believe they need to stay for the kids, but they don’t realize it’s better to have no dad, than an abuser dad. So many women with kids are masterfully trapped in their horrible situations, so I’m not blaming any woman who cannot get out, much less get her kids out with her.

      I do think there ought to be an educational component from very early on. Too many women are beaten, abused, raped, violated, victimized, etc. And I wish there’d be classes, all the way K-12, teaching girls the law, showing how the rape culture and porn culture grooms them, showing them the tricks and traps of abusers, educating them on their rights, practicing boundary enforcement, raising them to be proud warriors, so they might stand a chance in our misogyny soaked world. Just the same, the boys need to be occupied during that time, so teach them K-12 how to not be predators, how to resist misogyny, to refuse to be rapists, to hold their friends accountable for the misogyny, rape, and woman-abuse they perpetrate and then brag about to other males, and so forth. I don’t have much of any hope for the boys and men, but perhaps if girls were prepared better, educated more, developed skills in lots and lots of role-playing sessions, and like a third of their educational time was devoted to such revolutionary education, perhaps they might fare better. Who cares about so much of what is taught in education today. How many women’s lives were bettered from being forced into rote learning of dates of various wars, battles, etc. or being made to dissect a frog or so very many things that are time sucks when compared to how desperately they need to know and learn how to possibly defend themselves, protect themselves, and advocate for themselves in this misogyny-drenched world.

      End of rant.

    3. You have a copy of the Bible. Start your days reading it. Even if you only read one page per day, you need to start somewhere. People read all sorts of other texts but neglect to read God’s Holy Word and it’s a great way to grow closer to God. ESV is very popular, NIV is good, as it can be hard to read the King James version.

      People seem to not see how death can be right around the corner, the devil prowls about, and one’s soul is everything.

      Matthew 16:26 NIV
      “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit the soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?”

      And yes, Dr. Simon’s articles are informative. I’m not hopeful, like he is, about CD individuals changing for the better, but his experiences are his and mine are mine. One in a million, at very, very best. And even then, I think it’s a stretch. Good trees and good fruit versus bad trees being their bad selves and producing bad fruit, as is of their character and who they belong to (the devil). I might be wrong in my interpretation and application of that paraphrased verse of Scripture, but I don’t think so. But again, others may be better informed and it’s not like I’m a Biblical scholar who can study Scripture in Hebrew and so forth.

  3. AMEN. There is no denying that most victims are women and children, and protective measures must absolutely focus on them first and foremost. I have known women in these situations and have offered them empathy, consolation and resources when possible (sometimes they aren’t ready to accept it, or the situation is too dangerous for non-professionals to intervene).

    Having said that, I have also witnessed the reverse to be true. That is, CA/Narc women who take advantage of help meant for battered women and use it to exploit the men in their lives (the DARVO tactic mentioned earlier). It may be the case that when a relationship deteriorates badly enough, both parties begin “showing teeth,” which devolves into the victim appearing to be, or even becoming, the perpetrator (man or woman, parent or child). Even so, it’s risky to assume that the woman (or child) is the perpetrator because that’s rarely ever the case.

    As unfortunate as these situations are, abused men are the exception, not the rule, and should not be used as an excuse to dismiss claims by women. It’s just to point out that CA/CD/Narc people can be anyone, and protection from them starts with acknowledging this fact. Hopefully this won’t invite a backlash. Understand that I’ve seen this up close and personal. My attempts to persuade some to tread lightly in this area, for the sake of their kids, their conscience and the real women victims out there, were met with accusations of gas lighting and victim-shaming – followed by their relentless pursuit of revenge via character assassination for “lacking empathy, not being there, and betraying them” –a justifiable punishment for being faced with inconvenient truths.

    It seems to me that real victims feel stuck and prefer to avoid more confrontational situations, whereas those who play the victim-role seek it out, as if they need a “fix.” You can always tell when someone has spent time planning the victim-role. They know the script and all the lingo, and do a lot of damage in the background before anyone is the wiser.

    The work of Dr. Simon and others like him has been invaluable to exposing CA/CD/Narc behavior, but it has also served to educate those seeking to further manipulate and outwit others who just want to have normal human relationships in life and be happy.

    On that note, I have learned to keep any accomplishments and happy times to myself for fear that they will be envied and provide new angles for CA wounds. The flip side is that I get accused of being secretive, aloof and stuck up, usually after a long interrogation from which I get cornered for information. Fortunately, I have several longtime friends who are kind souls and very generous with their support (and visa versa). While it doesn’t feel quite the same as family, it should be enough. I’ve done a lot for my family and their families over the years and am deeply disappointed that they have not reciprocated in kind now that I have my own. It reminds me of a saying I once heard: “Never ignore someone who cares for you because someday you’ll realize you’ve lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones.”

    1. Your 4th paragraph has a lot of truth to it. And victims are generally in bad shape, because being some abuser’s prey/target tends to be very damaging and ruinous and it shows. The abuser will be in good shape, with support, whereas the abused will be in rough condition, really struggling, wanting to die, overwhelmed, traumatized, isolated, embarrassed, confused, and is ashamed that such is her life. It’s very shaming to be abused. And by the time the abused says much of anything to anyone, the abuser has her isolated, everyone has been secretly turned against her over the years (unbeknownst to her, of course) and people have been made to believe terribly things about her, as though she is the monster, and he is the poor, poor victim.

      If you are successful and retired and sitting pretty, then I encourage you to donate to battered women’s shelters. Imagine the hell of being in lockdown, with a batterer husband, and battered women’s shelters are almost invariably full, needing supplies, money, etc., then comes a pandemic. And if the guy lost his job and now is there 24/7, with no escape, I’m sure women are suffering all over on a whole new level.

      1. Pardon me for saying, but while you do good by championing that cause, that has strayed off topic here. I feel deeply sad for any victim of DV (children, women or men – and I personally know cases of all three), but I don’t find those comments helpful, other than to feel I have no reason to complain, which I acknowledged in my first comment.

        1. Yes, I did stray. That happens in comment sections.

          I also do love to do good by championing the cause, because it is such a big one.

          Maybe others reading will think of their local battered women’s shelter at a time like this.

  4. The high temps and poor air quality today provided a good excuse to stay indoors and read many of Dr. Simon’s past articles. I found many helpful topics here today and am amazed at how many relevant issues are discussed. It’s an invaluable resource. Thank you!

    1. I only recently came across this blog and am now catching up on reading many insights that I have missed over the years and wish I had known earlier!

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