Abuse victims and toxic relationship survivors are used to doing all the suffering while their tormentors seem to get off scott free. But with time and dedicated rehearsing, survivors can cultivate empowering habits. And when they remember the all-important task of self-reinforcing their efforts, the quest for empowered living gets a bit easier.
Personality and Character Disorders are as difficult to understand as they are to deal with.
Many therapists will say they understand personality and character disturbances. But then when you go to them for help you find they just don’t get it at all. In fact, you might even experience therapy-induced trauma.
Intimacy barriers are the biggest reason couples seek counseling. And when counseling fails it’s usually because the true impediments to intimacy weren’t properly identified or dealt with.
How we see ourselves matters. And how we behave toward ourselves matters even more. Healthy self-regard defines the evolved character. And unhealthy self-regard is the hallmark of character disturbance.
In deeply knowing ourselves, we have the power to elevate ourselves. This takes both right intention and firm resolution. But we can do it. That’s what inner transformation is all about.
Fighting dirty is fighting without principle-guided limits and boundaries. It’s placing winning over everything and using whatever tactics or psychological “weapons” you can think of to secure the dominant position. Such fighting is the destroyer of relationships.
Right thinking is thinking guided by principle. And not just any principle but the overriding principle of love.
Many folks get goaded into therapy simply because they haven’t learned to control themselves. And, sadly, the helping professions aren’t generally good at providing these individuals the right kind of interventions.
There is a way of living that supersedes the pleasure principle. But it’s not a way of living that comes naturally.