Choosing the right relationship partner can be quite daunting. But how a person has behaved in past relationships best predicts how they’ll eventually treat you.
A person who’s been converted doesn’t relate the way they used to. Their whole manner of seeing and doing is different. It’s an observable change. And one that’s consistent over time.
To be of sound character, we must be more than just morally good. We have to be intimately connected to the source of good. Spiritually awakened, we see things differently and are moved to conduct our lives differently.
Abuse victims learn the hard way that interest doesn’t equal regard. Unfortunately, they learn it after they’ve been exploited or mistreated.
These days we have all kinds of ways to explain people’s dysfunction. And while there are indeed times when a perfectly healthy person’s biochemistry suddenly and for no apparent reason goes kaflooey, and cases where unpredictable tragedy so traumatizes that it temporarily impairs even the most well-adjusted person, more often, a person’s character not only predisposes the problems they experience in life but also exacerbates those problems when they occur.
Narcissistic grandiosity is mostly a matter of exaggeration – especially exaggerated self-importance and capability. And, when such grandiosity goes unchecked, it can lead to much bigger problems.
At the heart of narcissism of the grandiose type lies a lack of reverence. Reverence for what? Anything or anyone other (or “bigger”) than self. Grandiose narcissists find nothing outside of themselves worth revering, so they have trouble having empathy.
facing the truth can be really painful at times. But to have character you must have the courage to face the truth without denial or deceit.
Human beings are great self-deceivers. But some of us deceive ourselves so earnestly and so often that we begin to believe our falsehoods, and that really gets in the way of our character growth.
Toxic relationships are born of narcissistic irreverence. One simply can’t love what what can’t first appreciate.