Category Archives: Self-Esteem

Vulgar Narcissists Offend While Charmers May Not

Abuse, empathy, Entitlement, Integrity, Lying and Deception, Manipulation, Mental Health, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychological Manipulation, Psychology, Psychopathy and Sociopathy, Relationships, Responsibility, Self-Esteem, Social Issues, Spirituality, , , , , , ,

Like it or not, we sometimes have to deal with vulgar narcissists. And because they don’t care, we might wonder what good it does to confront them. The answer here lies in the good that can come from outing the truth.

Charming Narcissists Manipulate Well

Abuse, empathy, Entitlement, Lying and Deception, Manipulation, Manipulators, Narcissism, Neurotics, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychological Manipulation, Psychology, Relationships, Self-Esteem, , , ,

Brash and vulgar narcissists naturally offend us. So, we naturally want to keep our distance and watch our backs. But charming narcissists are in some ways more dangerous. Like I say in In Sheep’s Clothing, dealing with them can be like getting whiplash. You only fully realize who they are and what they’ve done to you after the fact.

Why Narcissistic Bullies Really Taunt

Aggression, empathy, Entitlement, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychology, Psychopathy and Sociopathy, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Social Issues, , , ,

The dominant thinking on bullies has changed dramatically over the years. Folks used to see bullies as insecure and cowardly underneath, with something to prove. But the truth is often much simpler: some people taunt and torture because it feels good. These folks enjoy fighting and provoking fights. To them, it’s fun.

Confronting Narcissistic Grandiosity

empathy, Entitlement, Integrity, Lying and Deception, Narcissism, Neurotics, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychology, Relationships, Responsibility, Self-Esteem, Social Issues, Spirituality, Therapy, , , , ,

You can confront compensatory grandiosity with relative ease and safety. The vulnerable narcissist merely seeks reassurance. So, the more you reassure them, the better they inwardly begin to feel about themselves. But you can’t deal with or confront the truly egomaniacal narcissist with the same ease or in the same way.

Challenging Egomaniacal Thinking

Integrity, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychology, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Social Issues, Spirituality, , , ,

Egomaniacal thinkers attribute everything they’ve ever achieved solely to themselves and their greatness. To acknowledge any higher reality would only make them feel both dependent and indebted. The haughty among us want no part of that.

When Confidence Becomes Pathological

Integrity, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Psychology, Relationships, Self-Esteem, , , ,

How we regard ourselves and our personal power reflects our character integrity. Healthy characters don’t discount themselves. But they also don’t overrate themselves. They have a healthy sense of balance about what’s truly belongs to them and what derives from a “higher power.”

Characters Who Use and Abuse

Abuse, conscience, empathy, Entitlement, Infidelity, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychology, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Social Issues, , , , ,

Grandiose narcissists so wantonly use and abuse because they have little heart. They lack empathy. And they have little shame. And the more lacking they are in these things, the more easily they exploit.

Vulnerable Narcissists and Relationships

empathy, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychology, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Spirituality, ,

Relationships with any narcissist suffer because it’s always about them. They’re so wrapped up in themselves and their desires that there’s no room to consider others. And because they can’t really concern themselves with you or your needs, intimacy suffers.

Ways Vulnerable Narcissists Relate

empathy, Entitlement, Infidelity, Integrity, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychology, Relationships, Responsibility, Self-Esteem, Spirituality, , , , ,

Vulnerable narcissists haven’t fashioned a balanced or well-grounded view of their own worth. Pay attention to them and revere them, and all is fine. Ask anything of them, and you’ll quickly learn how “shallow” they are. This makes true intimacy impossible. They may do all sorts of things to “prove” they’re love-worthy. But they don’t know their true worth. And they neither know how to love nor how to be loved.

Command 8: Fighting Fairly and Rightly

Manipulation, Manipulators, Mental Health, Narcissism, Personality and Character, Personality and Character Disorders, Psychology, Relationships, Responsibility, Self-Esteem, Social Issues, , ,

Over the years I’ve counseled many individuals whose life became a shipwreck because they never gained mastery over their aggression. Sometimes they were overt about it. Other times, they were covert in their aggression (for manipulative purposes). Either way, they made a mess of their relationships and brought untold pain into the lives of many. For these individuals, acquiring the controls necessary to assert as opposed to aggress was truly the task of a lifetime.