We all want the disturbed characters we know to have a change of mind. We want them to see things differently – as we and others see them. And we want them to behave differently, too, like most of the responsible people we know. But mostly we want them to WANT to see and do things differently. And that, of course, is a matter of heart.
Thinking before acting is a good thing. It’s one mark of character maturity. But what we think and how we think matters even more.
Smugness and glibness are red flags for the most serious types of character disturbance.
In many ways, character is like a psychological immune system, giving us the resources to be less vulnerable to the forces that might otherwise hurt or corrupt us.
Folks whose ways of seeing and doing things are so toxic that they’re rightfully considered “character-disordered” always cause big problems in relationships. And presently, the prognosis for change is extremely poor for the significantly disordered. There’s more hope for the mildly disturbed character, but the motivation and mode of intervention have to be just right!
You can sum up what all major life turnarounds require in one word: willingness.
Humble, honest self-reckoning is more than liberating. It’s also empowering. Truth, in its essence, is both power and freedom.
Supportive relationships have highly recognizable core characteristics that sadly are in short supply in our character-impaired times.
Because they lack empathy, denigration of others is pure sport for narcissists. They readily enjoy gratifying themselves at the expense of others.
An entitlement culture is behind many of our social ills. It fosters narcissism and wreaks havoc with intimate relationships.