Charm and charisma are powerful personal attributes. By themselves, they are neither positive or negative qualities. Character makes all the difference. Decent folks with charm and charisma can move mountains and do a lot of good, whereas charming, charismatic narcissists inevitably cause harm.
There’s hidden power in manipulation tactics, which is just one reason why these persuasion tools are so effective.
We need our egos to navigate an often hostile, unloving world. And we need ego to mediate our baser instincts, too. But an ego too full of itself is always a problem, a destroyer of relationships, and often, of societies, too.
Gaslighting by conspiracy happens when a covert abuser persuades others that they’re the good guy and you’re the crazy one.
Some disturbed characters exhibit a pathology that goes well beyond their narcissism. The folks I call the “aggressive personalities” fit this category.
Some disturbed characters are nearly or totally without conscience. Such folks are very dangerous, especially if given the reins of power.
Senseless violence keeps increasing. And character – more folks among us possessing solid internal controls and resources, is society’s best insurance against it.
Many folks who think they’re codependent, or have been labeled so, actually aren’t! Are you one of them? Maybe you’re one of those folks who got manipulated into a situation of forced dependency, making it extra hard for you to break free. Labeling you codependent can be just one more form of abuse.
We’re naturally drawn to attractive traits like charm, charisma, and likeability. But mistaking these traits for character is dangerous.
Beware of the smug and the glib. Smooth talkers and smooth operators are often among the more malignant narcissists. Trust your gut and dismiss any seemingly superficial charm and seduction.