Self-blame in the aftermath of a toxic relationship is common. Victims blame themselves for not realizing things sooner and for tolerating things too long.
Under the gaslight, you stop trusting your gut. But once the mask comes off your manipulator you realize your gut was right all along and you’re free to start trusting yourself and your instincts once again.
Adult children of gaslighters often have an impaired sense of self. Accordingly, such folks tend to be the covert narcissist’s favorite prey.
Covert narcissists gaslight their children in many ways. And this does great psychological damage, often leading to a lifetime of self-doubt.
It devastates a child’s self-image to feel demeaned, belittled, or degraded. But sadly, as an adult, a child with poor self-worth can unwittingly repeat the same compensatory pattern of trying to prove their worth by comparing themselves to and discounting others.
Adult children of narcissistic parents can spend years overcoming the effects of childhood gaslighting. And they can unwittingly repeat harmful patterns.
You may catch a narcissist in a falsehood. But they always seem to have an answer. They’ll twist the facts until the facts fit their narrative. Then they’ll claim the facts prove they they were right all along.
Narcissists can be quite charming. And charmers know how to make you feel special, important. But someone’s interest in you doesn’t mean they have genuine regard for you. Victims in abusive and exploitative relationships unfortunately learn this too late.
Many therapists will say they understand personality and character disturbances. But then when you go to them for help you find they just don’t get it at all. In fact, you might even experience therapy-induced trauma.
Victims of narcissistic rage rightfully experience intimidation. In their hearts, they know what a person determined to have the dominant position is capable of. And they know what can happen if they dare to say “no,” or refuse to be subordinate. But living in fear of a narcissist’s rage caries its own price.