Many folks who think they’re codependent, or have been labeled so, actually aren’t! Are you one of them? Maybe you’re one of those folks who got manipulated into a situation of forced dependency, making it extra hard for you to break free. Labeling you codependent can be just one more form of abuse.
Because we live in the age of entitlement, there are far too many among us who think that respect is a fundamental right as opposed to something that rightfully need be earned. Folks with an entitlement mentality often demand respect, even when they’ve habitually conducted themselves in a manner that doesn’t merit it.
Even folks who recognize that aggression can be born of anger as well as fear find it hard to imagine why someone would either become angry or be inclined to aggress if they weren’t afraid of something or didn’t feel victimized in some way. But assuming that aggressors always come from an insecure or fearful place has been the undoing of many in abusive relationships.
For a long time it was assumed that everyone struggled with social fears and tenuous self-esteem. It was therefore natural to further assume, that any perceived criticism would only invite a person to unconsciously mount “defenses” against what they regarded as attacks on their already impaired self-image. And while such scenarios can and do still occur, they’re nowhere near as common as they once were.
Perceiving the nature of a problem accurately and labeling the psychological realities underlying it correctly are of paramount importance when providing or seeking help. The current series of articles will address some popular misconceptions and the principal reasons important psychological principles and terms are often misused or misunderstood.