When should someone’s charm and amiability sound an alarm? When charm is accompanied by smugness, you’re likely dealing with a narcissist.
Folks whose ways of seeing and doing things are so toxic that they’re rightfully considered “character-disordered” always cause big problems in relationships. And presently, the prognosis for change is extremely poor for the significantly disordered. There’s more hope for the mildly disturbed character, but the motivation and mode of intervention have to be just right!
Affirmation dependency is overly relying on external sources for validation of one’s worth. You develop it by not properly understanding what your worth genuinely is and where it stems from.
Character-impaired folks inevitably use and abuse others. And the more they lack conscience and empathy, the more seriously they’re likely to use and abuse.
Shame can be certainly be a bad thing. And some shame is truly toxic. But in our days of rampant character dysfunction, shamelessness is a much bigger problem than too much shame. The most disturbed characters among us are the most shameless.
To become empowered partners in abusive relationships have to see through their manipulator’s tactics, knowing in their heart how to distinguish a victim from a victimizer.
Do we all need therapy? Perhaps not. Could most of us benefit from a little therapy? Probably, especially if it’s the right kind.
Personal integrity reaches its height in the absence of pretense. The truly decent character has searched his/her heart, knows it well, and strives to keep it pure. This takes a great deal of persistent mindfulness.
To be of sincere heart, one must first be of humble heart. And to be of humble heart is to stand in awe of a much greater reality.
Sincerity of heart and purpose means harboring no hidden agendas. Sincere folks don’t try to get things in a slimy, underhanded, or undeserving way. They’re as true to themselves as they are authentic to others.