We once widely regarded truth as the “best policy.” That’s partly because we understood that it always outs in the end. But it’s also because the it mattered to us more than it seems to these days.
Some folks don’t just boast of greatness. They actually believe in their superiority. And they rarely waver in that conviction even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Narcissists cannot really love because they can’t get beyond themselves. Some can charm convincingly, making you think it’s all about you. But when you scratch below the surface, you’ll find that it’s always really about them.
Wants and needs are not the same things. And sometimes what we crave, no matter how badly, is the last thing we truly need.
When should someone’s charm and amiability sound an alarm? When charm is accompanied by smugness, you’re likely dealing with a narcissist.
Folks whose ways of seeing and doing things are so toxic that they’re rightfully considered “character-disordered” always cause big problems in relationships. And presently, the prognosis for change is extremely poor for the significantly disordered. There’s more hope for the mildly disturbed character, but the motivation and mode of intervention have to be just right!
Affirmation dependency is overly relying on external sources for validation of one’s worth. You develop it by not properly understanding what your worth genuinely is and where it stems from.
Character-impaired folks inevitably use and abuse others. And the more they lack conscience and empathy, the more seriously they’re likely to use and abuse.
Shame can be certainly be a bad thing. And some shame is truly toxic. But in our days of rampant character dysfunction, shamelessness is a much bigger problem than too much shame. The most disturbed characters among us are the most shameless.
To become empowered partners in abusive relationships have to see through their manipulator’s tactics, knowing in their heart how to distinguish a victim from a victimizer.