Manipulative malignant narcissists engage in a constant dance of positioning for advantage. All they care about is for you to be in the dark or second-guessing. They don’t want you to have their number or know what they’re really up to. They seek only power, dominance, and control. And lying gives them the position of advantage.
Like it or not, we sometimes have to deal with vulgar narcissists. And because they don’t care, we might wonder what good it does to confront them. The answer here lies in the good that can come from outing the truth.
For many, the holidays are a time of stress. But there are ways to beat the holiday blues and find the joy again. The secret’s in the spirit of the season.
Researchers now know the reason disturbed characters have a hard time developing a healthy sense of obligation. When you feel entitled, you simply can’t feel obliged. You have to feel indebted before you can feel obliged. And you have to be deeply grateful before you can feel indebted.
True generosity is generosity of spirit. It can be as simple as a kind word to an overburdened store clerk. Yes, it can mean giving money to those in need. But it’s really more about the spirit (and character) of the giver than the need of the recipient.
True peace, joy, and love can only be found in the context of relationship. That’s why I’ve devoted my career to helping folks successfully navigate through our character-disordered times.
Mental health professionals have known for a long time that there’s a relationship between anger and depression. And that’s just one more reason why heeding the “8th Commandment” to master our anger and aggression is so important.
I’ve worked with thousands of person’s struggling to understand and deal with various disturbed characters in their lives. And it’s been most rewarding to equip these folks with both the understanding and tools they needed to empower themselves. I’ve also worked with thousands of disturbed characters. And to have witnessed many of these individuals become better people has been the blessing of a lifetime.
Over the years I’ve counseled many individuals whose life became a shipwreck because they never gained mastery over their aggression. Sometimes they were overt about it. Other times, they were covert in their aggression (for manipulative purposes). Either way, they made a mess of their relationships and brought untold pain into the lives of many. For these individuals, acquiring the controls necessary to assert as opposed to aggress was truly the task of a lifetime.
In many ways, character is like a psychological immune system. Stressful things happen to all of us, but when you have a rightly developed will, you can more readily summon the internal resources to weather the storms of life. Still, the strength and solidity of our will must always be tested.