Folks exiting toxic relationships with character-impaired charmers can easily fall into the trap of spending time and energy trying to get others to see what they came to see the hard way.
We once widely regarded truth as the “best policy.” That’s partly because we understood that it always outs in the end. But it’s also because the it mattered to us more than it seems to these days.
The more character disturbed someone is, the more problematic it is when they seek dominance.
Narcissists cannot really love because they can’t get beyond themselves. Some can charm convincingly, making you think it’s all about you. But when you scratch below the surface, you’ll find that it’s always really about them.
Some narcissists primarily want attention. Others just want to be right, justified – affirmed. More pathological narcissists seek adulation. And the most pathological narcissists want to be adored. Legends in their own minds, they consider themselves worthy of worship.
Wants and needs are not the same things. And sometimes what we crave, no matter how badly, is the last thing we truly need.
I have confidence that integrity of character will again come to be as expected as all the dysfunction we’ve experienced for years. And it’s toward that end that I’ve written Essentials for the Journey. Let us all resolve to make character matter again.
Therapy induced trauma happens when you go for help with hope in your heart, only to feel worse for the effort.
Gaslighting victims feel so much more alone and self-doubting when they find themselves among a sea of folks who view the disturbed character differently.
Smugness and glibness are red flags for the most serious types of character disturbance.