Category Archives: Intimacy

Mistaking Interest for Regard in Relationships

Mistaking interest for regard is all too common these days. It’s how folks with high hopes at the beginning of a relationship sadly later find themselves exploited and abused.

Covert Self-Monitoring and Reinforcement

Our high capacity to learn distinguishes us humans. And even some character-impaired individuals can choose to grow. But no new learning takes deep root without reinforcement.

Narcissistic Charm Can Easily Blindside

Narcissists can be quite charming. And charmers know how to make you feel special, important. But someone’s interest in you doesn’t mean they have genuine regard for you. Victims in abusive and exploitative relationships unfortunately learn this too late.

Healthy Relationships Require Genuine Regard

Healthy Relationships Healthy relationships are a rare commodity these days. Relationships can begin with a bang, then quickly lose their appeal. Some relationships that initially seem so harmonious somehow eventually become contentious. Relationships born of great passion and fervor can become dull or devoid of energy. And even relationships that seem founded on positive regard … Continue reading Healthy Relationships Require Genuine Regard

Recognizing and Overcoming Intimacy Barriers

Intimacy barriers are the biggest reason couples seek counseling. And when counseling fails it’s usually because the true impediments to intimacy weren’t properly identified or dealt with.

Intimacy Capacity Defines Character

As much as we crave naturally intimacy, many of us learn to fear it. We try to stay open. But painful experiences invite us to close. The hallmark of our character disturbed age is the lack of genuinely loving relationships.

Character Disturbance and Hardness of Heart

Hardness of Heart What do we mean when we talk about “hardness of heart”? Folks with hardened hearts have an impaired ability to empathize. They also have an impaired ability to truly connect. This makes healthy, intimate relationships virtually impossible. The harder one’s heart, the harder it is to achieve real intimacy and to truly … Continue reading Character Disturbance and Hardness of Heart

Civil Discourse Facilitates Loving Encounters

Civil discourse seems a lost art these days. But very human encounter affords us an opportunity for loving, healing, connection. So it matters how mindfully we engage one another. And it reflects upon our character.