Our high capacity to learn distinguishes us humans. And even some character-impaired individuals can choose to grow. But no new learning takes deep root without reinforcement.
Narcissists can be quite charming. And charmers know how to make you feel special, important. But someone’s interest in you doesn’t mean they have genuine regard for you. Victims in abusive and exploitative relationships unfortunately learn this too late.
Emotional dependency lies at the heart of many abusive relationships. And disturbed characters know just how to exploit a person’s need for approval.
Healthy Relationships Healthy relationships are a rare commodity these days. Relationships can begin with a bang, then quickly lose their appeal. Some relationships that initially seem so harmonious somehow eventually become contentious. Relationships born of great passion and fervor can become dull or devoid of energy. And even relationships that seem founded on positive regard … Continue reading Healthy Relationships Require Genuine Regard
Intimacy barriers are the biggest reason couples seek counseling. And when counseling fails it’s usually because the true impediments to intimacy weren’t properly identified or dealt with.
As much as we crave naturally intimacy, many of us learn to fear it. We try to stay open. But painful experiences invite us to close. The hallmark of our character disturbed age is the lack of genuinely loving relationships.
Hardness of Heart What do we mean when we talk about “hardness of heart”? Folks with hardened hearts have an impaired ability to empathize. They also have an impaired ability to truly connect. This makes healthy, intimate relationships virtually impossible. The harder one’s heart, the harder it is to achieve real intimacy and to truly … Continue reading Character Disturbance and Hardness of Heart
Civil discourse seems a lost art these days. But very human encounter affords us an opportunity for loving, healing, connection. So it matters how mindfully we engage one another. And it reflects upon our character.
Fair fighting is fighting with principle. It’s strong advocacy tempered with care and concern. When we fight fairly, with principle, and with care not to needlessly injure, we build instead of destroy.
Fighting dirty is fighting without principle-guided limits and boundaries. It’s placing winning over everything and using whatever tactics or psychological “weapons” you can think of to secure the dominant position. Such fighting is the destroyer of relationships.