Hardness of Heart What do we mean when we talk about “hardness of heart”? Folks with hardened hearts have an impaired ability to empathize. They also have an impaired ability to truly connect. This makes healthy, intimate relationships virtually impossible. The harder one’s heart, the harder it is to achieve real intimacy and to truly … Continue reading Character Disturbance and Hardness of Heart
Civil discourse seems a lost art these days. But very human encounter affords us an opportunity for loving, healing, connection. So it matters how mindfully we engage one another. And it reflects upon our character.
Fair fighting is fighting with principle. It’s strong advocacy tempered with care and concern. When we fight fairly, with principle, and with care not to needlessly injure, we build instead of destroy.
Fighting dirty is fighting without principle-guided limits and boundaries. It’s placing winning over everything and using whatever tactics or psychological “weapons” you can think of to secure the dominant position. Such fighting is the destroyer of relationships.
Some things are well worth fighting for. But there’s a way to go about this enterprise that builds as opposed to destroys.
We have to be right with ourselves achieve right relationship with others. And to be right with ourselves we have to master our appetites and aversions.
Egomaniacal characters are grandiose narcissists. And their grandiosity sometimes borders on the delusional.
Our egos serve an important purpose. They help us navigate this world and deal with its slings and arrows. But we can identify too much with them. And when we do, we lose touch with our more authentic self. To see the bigger picture, be more fully alive, and treat each other justly, we must eventually surrender our egos. Narcissistic ego inflation interferes with that.
Waking up can take many forms. For some, it’s a sudden event. For others, it’s more of a process. And it can happen in various ways. Sometimes, it’s born of intense joy and passion. We’re truly jolted into awareness. But more often, it comes on the heels of great emotional pain. In either case, we lose our smaller, false self. And in the process, we discover our true self, our soul.
Spiritual growth and character growth go hand-in-hand. And such growth is all about relationship – to ourselves, others, and our concept of a “higher power.”