At the heart of narcissism of the grandiose type lies a lack of reverence. Reverence for what? Anything or anyone other (or “bigger”) than self. Grandiose narcissists find nothing outside of themselves worth revering, so they have trouble having empathy.
Rationalizing, or excuse making, is a manipulation tactic. The strategy is simple: get someone to buy into your “explanations,” and your behavior takes on a whole different light. Your intentions look less sinister. And you don’t look so bad in character. Wow! Do bad things, and look good doing them! Now, that’s quite a feat!
Toxic relationships are born of narcissistic irreverence. One simply can’t love what what can’t first appreciate.
Reverence has more to do with how we relate than the religion we profess. The reverent soul ultimately seeks to elevate humanity. She or he works to preserve what’s good and seeks to make better what needs improving. That starts at the personal level. It’s about becoming a better person and making the world better, too.
Like it or not, we sometimes have to deal with vulgar narcissists. And because they don’t care, we might wonder what good it does to confront them. The answer here lies in the good that can come from outing the truth.
Narcissists get “stuck” at the egocentric stage of emotional, psychological, and spiritual development. And their self-absorption keeps them from paying attention to and learning from what only caring, intimate relations with others can teach them.
Narcissistic Manipulation – Who’s Vulnerable? Anyone can succumb to a narcissist’s charm. Some narcissists possess great impression-management skill. But some personality types are particularly vulnerable to narcissistic manipulation. And research has confirmed that two personality traits make all the difference. All my books address the issue of vulnerability to narcissistic manipulation. And my book In … Continue reading Personalities Prone to Narcissistic Manipulation
Years of research solidly point to one crucial factor when it comes to character health: the ability to delay gratification. Such an ability must be carefully cultivated. But in an indulgent world, just learning when and how to say “no” to oneself is difficult. And actually imposing a “no” is even more so.
Relational aggression is a big problem these days. And those out to harm you or your relationships can be overt or covert about it. Skilled covert-aggressors can even use surrogates to defame you or undermine your relationships. That way, they leave no “fingerprints” of their evildoing. Why do they do it? We used to think they came from a fearful, insecure place. But we now know they simply lack empathy.
Relationships with heartless characters follow a typical course. You get seduced by the tremendous interest someone shows in you. And most importantly, you mistake the interest for caring. Only later do you realize how utterly expendable you are, especially once you’ve outlived your usefulness.