While character disturbance is widepread, it occurs along spectra of both type and degree. Not every empathy-impaired person is a psychopath. And not all folks with narcissistic traits and tendencies are the same. Getting the right information and finding the right help can be a real challenge.
Shame can be certainly be a bad thing. And some shame is truly toxic. But in our days of rampant character dysfunction, shamelessness is a much bigger problem than too much shame. The most disturbed characters among us are the most shameless.
The amorous vulnerable covert narcissist can come across as loving. With ego massage, charm, and connective skill, they’ll steal your heart. But it’s never really about you. It’s about what you can do for them.
It’s harder than ever to adequately define personality and character-related pathology because the spectrum of dysfuntion has become so broad, varied, and normalized.