Fighting is an integral part of life. But how we fight matters. Fighting fairly, with principal, and constructively, with care not to needlessly injure is what decent character is all about.
Some narcissists blame to avoid shame. But many narcissists today have no shame. Such narcissists blame only to justify their cruelty and attacks.
Narcissistic insults stem from clashes with reality. Reality sends the message: “You’re not as great or powerful as you think you are.” But grandiose characters don’t take such challenges lying down. They see them as both and affront and an insult. And that’s typically when they unleash their rage.
Covert aggressors use manipulation tactics to get their way. They fight in subtle and underhanded ways. And they know how to look good without being good.
Narcissistic bullies act out of a sense of entitlement. And they injure without compunction because they lack shame and empathy.
Recovering from gaslighting effects and regaining one’s sanity after an abusive relationship isn’t easy. Victims frequently mistrust themselves and worry about making the same relationship mistakes again. And getting the wrong kind of help can easily re-traumatize. Empowerment begins with understanding what really happened and why.
When we try too hard to understand we inadvertently revoke the power we have. Understanding can’t itself empower. Taking action empowers.
Manipulative abusers are good at casting themselves as victims and vilifying the true victim. And they can make you wonder if they don’t really see things that way. But their tactics are just another way to avoid responsibility and take advantage of you.
Crazy-makers employ a slew of subtle tactics to make you doubt. And the more charming, polished, and convincing they are at this, the more unsure and crazy they can make you feel.
Toxic relationships are born of narcissistic irreverence. One simply can’t love what what can’t first appreciate.