Category Archives: Abuse

Recognizing and Overcoming Intimacy Barriers

Intimacy barriers are the biggest reason couples seek counseling. And when counseling fails it’s usually because the true impediments to intimacy weren’t properly identified or dealt with.

Healthy Versus Unhealthy Self-Regard

How we see ourselves matters. And how we behave toward ourselves matters even more. Healthy self-regard defines the evolved character. And unhealthy self-regard is the hallmark of character disturbance.

Integrity Exceeds Sincerity and Authenticity

Personal integrity goes beyond sincerity.and authenticity. It’s about embracing high ethics and living them out, even when no one is watching. And it’s about seeing and embracing a much bigger picture.

Character Disturbance and Hardness of Heart

Hardness of Heart What do we mean when we talk about “hardness of heart”? Folks with hardened hearts have an impaired ability to empathize. They also have an impaired ability to truly connect. This makes healthy, intimate relationships virtually impossible. The harder one’s heart, the harder it is to achieve real intimacy and to truly … Continue reading Character Disturbance and Hardness of Heart

Gratitude Inspires Civility and Generosity

Most of us regard the “golden rule” as a noble ideal but totally impractical guideline. So, we instead live by the principle of doing to others as we have judged that they deserve. And that, in a nutshell, is why our world is so full of conflict

Verbal Abuse Leaves Deep Scars

Abusive relationship partners are often relentless. They hate to miss an opportunity to denigrate and dominate. And over time, their victims can begin to see themselves in the same negative way their abusers cast them.

Constructive Versus Destructive Relationships

Some things are well worth fighting for. But there’s a way to go about this enterprise that builds as opposed to destroys.

Principled Fighting Defines Assertiveness

Assertiveness is fair, principled, disciplined, fighting. And it’s the kind of just self-advocacy coupled with mindful concern for the impact on others that defines healthy character.

Willfulness Plus Willingness Yields Character

Willfulness has a positive and negative side. A strong will can be one’s foremost asset. But it can also be a great liability. A properly formed and guided will is essential for sound character.

Conscience and Conscientiousness

Disturbed characters know how to spot the conscientious. And they’re eager to exploit and abuse them. Sadly, sometimes overly conscientious folks delude themselves. They think they can “fix” the morally broken among us – those with impaired or absent consciences.