This weekend we Americans celebrate the freedom to govern our own affairs. Our nation was founded on a simple premise: Let people alone to pursue their dreams and they’ll inevitably not only thrive themselves but but also create opportunities and foster prosperity for the larger community. But the framers of America’s constitution also knew that the whole idea of a free society with limited government could only work if citizens had a strong and healthy internal moral compass. How do we know this? We have abundant written record. For one, we have the famously preserved letter of October 11 1798 from John Adams to the officers of the First Brigade of the Third Division of the Militia of Massachusetts which in part reads: “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” Adams knew that neither laws nor governmental structure had the power to do what only a sound conscience is capable of doing. And his assertion is as true today as it was back then.
Regular blog readers will recall that I’ve written before on the inextricable relationship between freedom and character (see, for example, Freedom and Character are Inseparable, Freedom’s Survival Depends on Character, and The Duty to Protect Freedom). But each year when important holidays approach, I post on the topic again. It’s a matter that simply can’t be emphasized enough.
Freedom is under unprecedented assault from two major sources: one external, the other internal. The external threat comes from a radical ideology that seeks to compel the entire world to submit to an extreme interpretation of religious doctrine and stifle any dissent through heartless torture, terror, and killing (for more on this topic see: Radical Ideologies: Deadly Ways of Thinking). It also seeks to lure those among us who feel socially disenfranchised by offering them a perverted opportunity to affiliate with a new would-be dominating class. But perhaps the internal threat to our freedoms is more insidious: the character crisis that has plagued much of the industrialized world for the past several decades. Our marriages, our families, our businesses, our government, and our community relations – all of these things depend on us honoring the ideals and principles that make us decent individuals and have, at various times in our history, also made us both strong and great as a country. But because so many of us haven’t sufficiently honored and lived up to these ideals in recent years, our freedoms have been steadily eroded – increasingly impinged upon by a literal mountain of laws, rules and regulations that never really impact the scoundrels among us but place increasing burdens upon the folks who have always played by the rules and honored their obligations. In the process, the burden on the socially irresponsible among us has become virtually nil while the burdens imposed on the socially conscientious among us have increased dramatically. Such a trend cannot continue indefinitely.
My humble effort to help reverse the troubling trend mentioned above has largely involved my written works In Sheep’s Clothing,Character Disturbance, The Judas Syndrome, my blog articles, and, of course, the musical composition of which I am most proud: Anthem for the Millennium, or as it’s more popularly known, “America, My Home!” Music has a way of touching the heart in a way no other medium can. And as we know, big social changes generally come about when individual hearts change one at a time.
So, as we celebrate the freedoms we enjoy this 4th of July weekend, I invite the readers once again to enjoy the song my wife and I were inspired to compose almost 16 years ago as we came to our own realizations about the vital relationship between freedom and character, and which gained popularity after a regional ABC TV affiliate paired it with a video montage of events surrounding the attacks of 9-11. We hope that in hearing it you’ll be inspired to “pass the torch of freedom” to willing others and to future generations by doing your part to “make character cool again.” Share the song with your friends, and, if you have a mind to join the ever-growing chorus of those performing it at patriotic events across the country, or know someone who might like to do so, please contact me using the blog’s contact feature and I’ll see to it you get sheet music, performance tracks, various arrangements, etc. I hope the song touches you in the manner intended. And my sincerest thanks to all the singers who at various patriotic venues this Independence Day will be carrying the its message: “America’s true greatness lies not so much in her military might or economic power but in her people of good character who honor her best ideals and upon whom the very survival of freedom depends.”
I’ll be having more to say about this topic on the special Independence Day weekend presentation of Character Matters at 7 pm EDT on UCY.TV. Now, enjoy (the most recently uploaded and highest quality YouTube version of) “America, My Home!”
92 thoughts on “America’s True Greatness”
No, America will not withstand the harsh weather with the constant increases of the existing internal storms. The moral and ethical conscience of our people has weakened. Good people are tired, worn out, weary. And the character disordered are gaining in numbers. Our high standards, our strong sense of right and wrong and our compassion and empathy has been the glue that held us together as the greatest of all nations. Our nation is rotting and decaying from within. We’ve become are our own worst enemy. Greater than any external threat. We’ve got a lot of repairing to do. Stand firm. United we stand, divided we fall. If we get tired we must rest, but don’t give up. Freedom is way too valuable to lose. We’ve paid a very high price and it did not come easy. Happy Fourth of July to everyone. Enjoy!
And Dr. Simon your song is absolutely beautiful…..Thank you!
God Bless America and America Bless God.
It’s a beautiful song Dr. Simon and I hope that this country can once again be a beacon of true freedom and goodness, represented by true and good men such as yourself. It’s a tall order at this point I’m afraid. I don’t know how the tides can turn once they have gone out so far.
I am British, I wrote this. I do hope you like it.
Freedom, to walk were I choose,
Without fear of what I might loose.
Freedom, in life that does depend,
Freedom to write what might offend.
Freedom to take what I require,
With morals and ethics that control my desire.
Freedom in life that God gave me,
Without Hatred, Malice or Bigotry
Applicable globally. Actually needed in different degrees to different societies. 🙂
Applicable globally. Actually needed in different degrees to different societies. 🙂
Joey, yes I like it. It’s the truth! Thank you for the breath of fresh air.
You said “Freedom in life that God gave me,”
It’s seems foolish for me to put my wellbeing and safety into the hope and change being promised by leaders who mandate the laws, rules and regulations. That’s not God given freedom. That’s tyranny and control of the masses. Interestingly it’s the very same behavior that this blog is all about…character disorders and control issues.
Andy I agree, it’s a global issue.
The liars and thieves have crawled out from the woodwork. They are no longer hiding in dark places and behind bushes. I’ve noticed how no one in the public square resigns out of disgrace anymore. Now that’s a character issue.
When we see the truth, lies lose their power. The problem is it can be so insidious that many/most do not realize what is happening until it’s too late. It’s terrifying how they trick good people.
Suzi, you are right and that is what frightens me about our country’s and the world’s future. The problem starts at the top. It’s true with any country, any business, any family and if the top tier is poisoned it trickles down on everything below it. “The sins of the fathers……” . This country was founded because our forefathers desired and saw the value of freedom. They made the sacrifices and took the risks to make that a reality for many people then and many people to follow. But don’t forget who suffered in the process, the very people who already inhabited this continent. The founding of this country is not all glorious and just. They dismantled, and in a way enslaved, an entire civilization in order to have the “freedom” they felt they were more entitled to have.
Sorry to be “Debbie Downer” here but the truth shall set us free………”and what have we done for these ones”? Buffy Sainte Marie
My favorite rendition of this song…….
I’m afraid too. The more I learn about character disorders the more I see the widespread toxic waste. It’s so contagious. It’s so ugly.
It seems like the best I can do is keep working on myself, healing and learning. And keep my boundaries firmly in place. And keep my light shining for others who are caught in the fog and are searching for answers.
You know people are like a herd of cattle, they willingly follow a leader. Especially a leader that looks like a winner. They don’t mind grasping onto “what’ a winner thinks. In doing so they fail to learn “how” to think. There’s a big difference between “what” to think a “how” to think.
If you can watch this without a lump in your throat and feeling like your chest is going to explode you are made of something different than I am.
Off Topic _ Hi Puddle, I left one last response, cant remember where we posting? Thanks
BTOV, I lost it too my friend!
Dr. Simon, I agree with everything you said and so eloquently too. I agree with Suzi’ I don’t believe there is any turning back. I believe and as history has repeated itself over and over we as a nation and a world will experience changes that most can’t begin to fathom, living and hiding in their little bubbles. The One World Order is all cut up and has been in the works and in place for ages as we went harmlessly about our business and so many ignored the handwriting on the wall. The right thing to do as you lead us here on your blog is to retain our character against all odds and continue to shed light on anyone we can reach. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love of humanity, the example you set and the work you do for so many. Gods blessing on this great nation of decent folks who care about one another and to you and your family Dr. Simon. To all Happy 4th of July 2015
Hi Puddle, Have been working for hours to get sound. I listened to several of the tapes and the music lyrics are so sadly true. This is a part or our history we can be ashamed of. It is so true what the USA did to the indians and are still cheating and reneging out of what is rightfully theirs. Many people don’t realize at the turn of the 20th century the Europeans had exterminated I believe 95% of the American indians. It is a tragedy, but then the European whites are producing at such a small rate they wii eventually be integrated into the other races. In the end, it is all wrong and one forgets we are truly all brothers and sisters. So many injustices. But what can we do as an individual to make this a better world. Regardless, I think there are many ways, and one can teach of the atrocities that were wrongfully committed so we have a conscience not to repeat it, that is if they will even listen. Thank you for the post. I will try to find the other one from yesterday, I wrote quite bit which I tend to hold back on, perhaps Tori remembers where we were posting at. I become speechless, just like when I watch the Nazi tapes and people deny it ever happened. Hugs to you and peace dear Puddle
Hi BTOV, I think it was an old post from 2009 I have looked but fear I am lost too! Sorry BTOV, was it a post on inattentive thinking or something?
Hi BTOV, I’m so relieved that you understand this horrible truth about the settling of this continent. I don’t think it’s as cut and dry as most of us were led to believe in school, that’s for sure. It’s something that is hard to come to grips with for me and touches something very deep in me.
I understand the dilemma about not knowing what to do individually. Time marches on and the tide has gone out too far. I wish it was different and it’s probably unrealistic to think it could have happened in any other way than it did because that is what happens as humans move around the world and settle new lands. It’s just hard to believe that it happened as recently as it did. A LOT of this country’s significant events seem like they happened so much longer ago than they did. Maybe because things are changing so fast within my lifetime. It’s hard to put into words.
This is just another reality that I find myself thinking, “Why does it have to be that way? I don’t want it to be that way!” It’s so hard to think that someone else lived where I live and the reason they don’t live here now is because the land and their way of life was taken away from them.
We are probably going off-topic, but cannot prevent myself from chiming in here.
Aboriginal people in Australia suffered worse than Native American in America. In the end, it was pretty much destruction of a civilization by a superior (better fighter mainly) group. And, then history is obviously written by Winners.
This is just knowing the past in realistic manner (not as narrated by winner) and learn from it for future.
One cannot really wish things should have been different. Had they been different, then maybe it might not have been possible for USA to preserve itself and later give knock-out punch in World War II. And, of course the huge technological contribution in last century.
Andy D, I don’t see any sense or need to compare the suffering of any indigenous culture’s genocide.
I drew attention to the native American’s plight strictly because it is the 4th of July here and while plenty of people celebrate the birth of this nation and the principles it was founded on, there is a very dark side to that birth that most people chose to keep in a closet. It seemsbone sided to sing the praises of freedom while ignoring the reality of those that lost their freedom, way of life, land, loved ones, etc so that we could hobble up what was theirs.
I also don’t KNOW the truth behind the U.S. “knock out punch” or the ultimate bennifits of the technological explosion that is occurring. I would have to say that just like the real story of the settling of our country, the truth behind end of WW2 is probably not widely known, like Viet Nam, like Iraq, like fill in the blank.
Our core statement is exactly same that creating America involved colonization of native Red Indians by Europeans, and this involved pain of mass-level conflict. This is a historical fact that cannot be ignored or wished away.
There is a definite people side to it as highlighted by you. There are other perspective too and some are positive.
Ok, this is a VERY interesting perspective on the topic but I can not attest to the accuracy of it. I will also tell you that some of the language is a little profane and some of this is actually funny.
If this is true it does paint a little better picture of at least SOME of our founding fathers (Ben Franklin). It also paints an extremely disordered picture of Andrew Jackson!! Talk about entitled!
Oops forgot the link!
I am so sorry! I just don’t seem to be able to stay on track with this. This is the link about Andrew Jackson. I’m not sure which section it’s in.
Same. Living on prime ‘Indian’ land. Right now I am doing my level best to help out a young Native carver. I can’t begin to describe what the legacy of intentional cultural genicide (and that’s after the small pox measles epidemic) has done to this fellow’ and his siblings. It overwhelms me, just being somewhat connected. I feel like I am trying desperately, along with a few others, to nurture a fragile bird into the thunderbird he should be. Trying to coax him out of his nest. Not easy.
The first step towards righting a terrible wrong is awareness. I remember after reading, “Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee’ when I was a teen, my father made an ugly remark about alcoholic Indians at the dinner table. I pushed my plate to the middle of the table, lay my arms on the table, buried my face and sobbed as if someone had struck me. I’ll never forget it. Awareness, awareness, awareness. Without it how can we even apply moral values?
“Awareness, awareness, awareness. Without it how can we even apply moral values?” Makes total sense. You mentioned something similar elsewhere?
Until I heard Buffy Sainte Marie sing those two songs I posted the links for I really didn’t have any significant level of awareness about what the native Americans had endured. All I had was what I had been taught in school. The more I learned the angrier I became, not only about what was done to them but that the TRUTH is not what we had been taught!! That Video link I posted of her singing “Now That The Buffaloe’s Gone” leaves me without words. I had never seen her sing the song, only heard it, and THAT brought me to tears! But to see her sing it was one of the most moving things I’ve ever seen.
Puddle I thank you for linking Buffy Sainte Marie’s songs. I have not heard of her before and when I watched that clip it left me speechless… such pain in her voice, in her face and eyes, it was so moving.
I so hope that the principles upon which the country was founded, politically, are extended to all, not just in word and superficially, but in an authentic way that preserves the individual’s self respect and dignity. Every child should attend school knowing that he will not be judged by the color of his skin or the size of his house and brand of his sneakers. She/he will learn respect for those who help him or her internalize those values. Those who seek power over others through force, social status, money will come to be viewed as objects of pity at best for their weakness or contempt.
LisaO great words. So much of what is said on national days doesn’t ring true in the real world. When inequality is so apparent every day. Human rights violations are committed in the name of freedom… how can that be acceptable. The history of Western Civilisation is not pretty, it is brutal. National days should encompass all, everyone and for many indigenous peoples these days are days of loss and trauma. Superficial words do not right wrongs no matter how long ago they happened. If as caring nations we do not right these wrongs of our forefathers then we turn a blind eye to the truth and allow it to keep happening. I see it in my own country how power and greed and the injection of fear into people is creating a haven for those in power to take away more freedom from everyone and create an atmosphere of mistrust so that racism and ill treatment of others can flourish.
Its all about greed and power, again, one up. The point is people came to this country to flee the same type of atrocities and tyranny that happened here. It has gone on from the dawn of time. The point is this, this was a wonderful country, now the tables are turning. I don’t have the stomach for this today, so to speak, the problem with the Indians in this country is that the government and the filthy rich are still stealing and reneging on treaties that were signed hundreds of years ago. Continued promises that were broken, a people that trusted one to tell the truth, but were lied to lie after lie. Sounds like the malignant narcissistic, covert, aggressive sociopath, psycho. The same CD we constantly discuss. This comment in no way is disloyal to the great country we were and all the true Americans that wanted no part in the evil perpetrated on others. Puddle, I listened to the song, its only the tip of the iceberg, read about the trail of tears.
The point is we can’t change what has happened but we can as a person take charge of our life and try to do the right thing, perhaps changing one heart, one life at a time. We can set by example by not accepting, and speaking out. As Dr. Simon says character matters, starting with our own. The Fourth of July is celebrated for our Independence from the tyrannical government of England, unfortunately, few people know history or take the time to find out, nor, do our schools teach the truth. Sorry, poorly written, have a pain day LisaO. And Dr. Simons song is beautiful and truly genuine in the spirit it was written. Its a shame that so many don’t live in the honorable spirit Dr. Simon is guiding us. Dr. your work is truly remarkable! To all the people of the world, who are fighting the battle of Character to benefit mankind, Blessings!
BTOV, I’m sorry you are hurting today. Here’s a (((((healing hug)))))) for you!
I have read about the trail of tears, that’s where Andrew Javkson came into my posts.
Heh! Talk about a sense of entitlement. He basically said, I don’t care what anyone says, I’m running them Indians out of here because I can. Granted, I have not thoroughly studied this but…….
And Andy D, I have read similar things about the USA’s knock out punch including this;
“The war might have ended weeks earlier, he said, if the United States had agreed, as it later did anyway, to the retention of the institution of the emperor.”
Using knock-out punch was wrong wording on my part. 🙂
I do not mean use of nuclear bomb.
Just that US joined WWII much later, and that was one of the turning point. And, the reason Americans (erstwhile European 5 centuries back) could choose to stay away for so long was their geographical location.
BTOV……..”Continued promises that were broken, a people that trusted one to tell the truth, but were lied to lie after lie. Sounds like the malignant narcissistic, covert, aggressive sociopath, psycho. The same CD we constantly discuss. ”
Exactly what I was thinking.
Since we “neurotics” are the flip side of the coin. Lets talk about as a country the good we have done! Look at all the selfless sharing on Dr.s blog by commenters to help others. Remember, Puddle there are so many people in this country that had nothing to do with the atrocities that happened to the blacks or the Indians. Millions flocking to this country to flee persecution themselves. Freedom so many times comes at a high price to the innocent. Thanks for the enlightening posts, we should never forget these things lest we do them again which we seem to do.
BTOV, you are right. There are a lot of good people and I know that this country beats a lot of places in this world, which is why so many people want to come here. Seems the outsiders are more grateful for the oppertunities this country offers than a lot of our home growns. It’s hard for me to sort things like this out and I’m probably a little on the cynical side 🙂
I just feel hypocritical not saying something about those dark issues when everyone is running around on the 4th of July like none of it ever happened, my self included at times. But thanks for the balance BTOV……. I just have such a hard yime accepting things that do not compute.
Puddle, So do the Jews and the other survivors of the Holocaust. I know it is very difficult to accept when it is still going on and your whole being rings for truth and justice. Lets keep the freedoms of the 4th slate clear for what it represents. The statue of Liberty accepting one and all. The other 364 days can be left for the fight for what is still being compromised and treaties that are being circumvented by the slimy lawyers and politician’s due to greed. I will also say this, had it not been for the native peoples and their generosity to feed and show the outsiders how to exist they would had perished. It is very sad that most don’t know this and the truth.
There is a common curse and a common blessing in all of humanity. The earth has always been flooded with lies and deceit and yes atrocities. That’s the historical reality of humanity. All of humanity, from the beginning.
As we each know on this blog….good, bad and ugly describes our struggles with the character disordered. It’s a fierce battle and the losses are great. The losses are always great, no matter who or what stands firm against evil.
The light of good people have always been in battles and at war with the darkness of bad people. There is no where on earth that we can hide from the darkness. Although we can aim for people and places where the light shines the brightest. That’s reality and reality is the truth.
Carl Jung Quote:
Understanding does not cure evil, but it is a definite help, in as much as one can cope with a comprehensible darkness.
And another interesting quote:
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote in The Gulag Archipelago:
“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
It’s what we follow in our heart that shapes our character. We are all tempted to go down the dark path at times. A Spath relishes the opportunity and they derive pleasure and satisfaction from doing intentional harm. That to me is what separates a psychopath from any other human no mater if they are disordered or not. I don’t think anyone can understand that other than someone who is like them.
“A Spath relishes the opportunity and they derive pleasure and satisfaction from doing intentional harm. That to me is what separates a psychopath from any other human no mater if they are disordered or not.”
Sorry, not to criticize you or anything, on the contrary your post makes sense. This kinda jumped at me though. I’ve known some covert and overt aggressive people, who relished doing intentional harm, when they were being vindictive. Dunno, hard to believe nearly all of them would be Spaths.
Kyle, Puddle. You have both made good points. When people are in retaliation mode, be they overt or covertly aggressive, or even just an ordinary angry person, their vindictiveness usually springs from a feeling of being offended. With the aggressive narcissist, it takes very little to offend and it’s usually an affront to their ego that whips them into a vindictive rage. But Puddle is describing a whole other breed of cat–the stealth sadist who enjoys confusing, relishes the torment of a fellow human being. Most people don’t understand it because they haven’t been victim of or witness to this laugh a minute (for predator) form of bullying.
Hi LisaO, Thanks for making the Spath more clear. Correct me if I’m wrong, there is a whole spectrum of N’s out there that comprise a whole gamut of traits, they don’t fit neatly in a box. They can be rather elusive and coy, cunning to say the least.
LisaO, I honestly believe that Spathtard LOOKED for reasons to be offended and jumped at the chance to claim his false moral high ground.
Again, great post and that’s disturbing. “laugh a minute” Such disturbing images.
Something jumps at me again! “When people are in retaliation mode, be they overt or covertly aggressive, or even just an ordinary angry person, their vindictiveness usually springs from a feeling of being offended.”
“even just an ordinary angry person” ?
Kyle, Not quite sure what you mean by “laugh a minute.” Also, I consider myself an ordinary person and I do get angry. However, I don’t feel I get in a retaliation mode, nor do I feel like being vindictive. Not quite understanding your logic?
LisaO said: “Most people don’t understand it because they haven’t been victim of or witness to this laugh a minute (for predator) form of bullying.”
And I asked LisaO to clarify this: “When people are in retaliation mode, be they overt or covertly aggressive, or even just an ordinary angry person, their vindictiveness usually springs from a feeling of being offended.”
Did you miss posts?
Kyle, a normal person who gets angry or offended, etc either address the problem with the other person or gets over it. You know when they are angry. A Spath does everything backwards. They can be angry or offended and you will never know it but you will pay for it. Conversely, they will ACT angry and or offended over something seemingly insignificant as a means to manipulate their victim. Again…..always keep the words, intentional, calculated, manipulative, in mind. Active vs reactive.
Dunno, I’ve seen some ‘normal'(non-pathological?) people sulk, have their words come out vaguely like little children(hard to explain; different from CD manipulation or CD tantrum), playing silent treatment(hard to explain also; lacks the CD manipulative element?), throwing temper tantrums(again, different?), acting passive-aggressive, throwing thinly veiled insults(confused for being passive-aggressive?), getting all obnoxious and in-your-face, delay a reaction and gossip behind the back and so on so on some tired-a** s**t, letting it linger(been so fed up! Can you tell? LOL!).
Y’all seem like intelligent people, who think a lot about things. Kind of “compare the notes”, if that’s a good analogy.
It’s the delight in harming others, in causing trouble, in destroying someone or some thing that trips a Spath’s trigger and the distain they feel for their target. Coupled with a gleeful delight in pulling one over on someone they see as less than what they THINK they are. It seems, after studying and thinking and compiling so many different snapshots of them that a Spath is generally useless and powerless, on their own, and that they need a victim to have any kind of sense of power, even if it’s an illusion. I don’t know how to really get this perception into words right.
Think of a serial arsonist, someone who kills animals, kills people. It’s the power to do harm, to an animal, a building, a person, a persons belongings, to stir up sh*t, to wreak havoc, create drama, feel superior. There does seem to be some self perceived moral high ground they think they are operating from. Again, I can’t quite bring it together but it’s there.
It’s basically on a whole different level than a tit for tat reaction to being wronged reaction. The reaction to being harmed or wronged is just that, a reaction. With them it is intentionional and methodical.
Puddle, Is it your perception of how they think and why they do it? Have you ever been in his head?
Puddle, You explained very it fairly well. More words will come later to help you explain the Spath. I should had explained a little more, I apologize. I think it depends where they are on the Continuum. Mine it seems when we first met was “oh” so subtle for many years. As the years progressed they get more bold and the mask falls much sooner. Mine keep up a good façade for quite some time. But in my case I can trace it back to early childhood. The weaker we are or should I say the more compassionate without the necessary guards/defenses up, or you become ill, watch out. Then the ugly cat will really rear its hideous head at the little innocent mouse.
I haven’t been inside his head but I’ve looked through a window. He’s been inside mine though. My councilor is an expert in the field so it all just gets put in a blender at first, my story(s), other’s stories, her input, books, articles, the ID Chanel, show after show, movies, two and a half years of it…… At first it’s all on high speed but as time goes by and the initial sting wears off, the spinning slows, then finally stops and the picture becomes clear. Behind it all I see is a toddler( the mentality ) with a machine gun ( the damage they do in an adult body ) hiding underneath mommy’s skirt and snickering behind their mask.
BTOV, I don’t think that in the end the mask “slips”, I think they rip it off so they can see the horror in their victims face, the dismay, the defeat.
I think it gave Spathtard enormous pleasure to see me reduced to what I was reduced to because it’s also my belief that he falsely perceived me from the VERY moment we met…… Very long story, too long to tell and I’ve told it so many times I can’t stand to tell it again. But when someone tells you their favorite movie is “Seven”, consider it a red flag AND a psychopathic “tell”!
A long time ago on a website far far away, they talked about “bypassed shame” and how it played a part in a Spath’s make up. I never really got that but I think I might now and it ties into their sense of moral superiority and their self given right to use you for their amusement or whatever else they are after. I see this in my brother from time to time, he cops an attitude about something reficulous and off base but acts as if you have committed the absolutely most horrific sin imaginable. I’m always caught off guard by it and it’s so out in left field there is just no good response or way to deal with it. And of course Spathtard did the same friggin thing.
BTOV, as is true with my brother, is true with Spathtard. There is no real “getting in their head” because it’s too alien but there are many glimpses that let you know just how true that is.
As you say Puddle, they rip off the mask. I always have the tendency to say the mask slips but you’re right they rip it off so you can see, “this is what I can do to you!” They do love to see the defeat in their victims eyes and the humiliation. Of all the acts it was when that mask was ripped away and I saw that face…that look with a smile. A smile that is like slime that spreads across their face (like the Joker only more sinister). That is what haunts me in flashbacks. It was always there and always the same. When he gets what he wants or surveys the terror and chaos he has caused and he’s so pleased with himself. It makes me sick to think on it…complete vermin.
Mind you only victims see the ripping off the mask…it’s others who may see it slip who are on the outside looking in…in a moment when they were off guard.
Someone who gleefully torches a building isn’t retaliating against the building for something it did to them. It is the drama, the flames, the interruption of the mundane that they are after. The P can’t tolerate the ordinary, the common place, the ‘dull’. Same with relationships. They can’t tolerate peace quiet content ent; the relationship qualities other people are striving for. Taken to its extreme, the P engages in acts of sadism that deliver the most emotional charge.
What I find disturbing about modern life is all the media video games that cater to similar base drives for power and control. For example the movie, “the Hostel”. I watched 5 minutes of it and couldn’t watch anymore. What blew my mind is that anybody could watch this movie through to the end.
LisaO, good post. Emotional charge and the power to create it. My brother is a whole other story and that whole snickering toddler who just pulled something off thing is really strong. Mumma’s little impestuous lad. You know, boys will be boys after all. Woah…. That just touched a little old anger!
Puddle, Perhaps one day in the future, I would be honored to hear your story. I have learned something new each time I have heard another story. Not for the morbidity of it but the education from it. Knowledge is power and I plan to inform as many gullible folks like me as I can. And they the CD will receive no quarter from me. With what I know now I wished I had picked his mind more.
“The American character delicately balances the love of liberty with a reverence for the law. A gentle yoke of law. Throughout human history, the two have rarely co-existed. Many have won their freedom. Few then succeeded in governing themselves.”
“Two centuries later, the American character endures, battered and bruised though it may be. It has been corroded by the Progressive faith in government, “if it feels good, do it,”. But we can still readily discern among many Americans the habits of mind and the virtues of a free people. For this, we should be grateful on this Fourth of July.”….…..
July 4th is about freedom. Our forefathers had the wisdom to understand that freedom is only accomplished with few laws and only by those with a high moral and ethical conscience. Good character is a delicate balance between the love of liberty and the inner laws governed by one’s conscience. As Dr. Simon said: “Adams knew that neither laws nor governmental structure had the power to do what only a sound conscience is capable of doing. And his assertion is as true today as it was back then.”
Obviously Adams and our forefathers had a full understanding of the character disordered. The history of the USA clearly describes the burdens, struggles, battles and wars between the good and the bad. All the blood, sweat and tears was necessary in order for freedom to survive. It’s our duty to stand firm and fight for freedom.
Why? Because of the disordered characters and their lack of a healthy conscience. They are mingling and lurking in the crowds, everywhere, prowling to dismantle and destroy all the good people. As Dr. Simon said: “our marriages, our families, our businesses, our government, and our community relations.
Just as America, our abusers have made us feel battered and bruised although our light still shines and we are strong. We can do it, we don’t need a bunch of rules, regulations and laws. Yes we can do it. It’s written on our heart so we know the truth….freedom and Character Matters!
Suzi, Just want to say thank you for the great posts. Read The Gulag in high school. The problem is so many people don’t know history.
Not sure where to put this little story. There is this man who endured the concentration camps. He then went to see the Rabbi to talk about what he had seen and had experienced. Such unheard of inhumane atrocities I can only visualize in my wildest dreams, I could never even think up the heinous acts perpetrated. Then the man changed course and started to say now that things had changed he was going to spend his life paying back the perpetrators in kind for their crimes against humanity. I am going to do this “%#@%%$$%^and #%$@%#%$ and this%$^%$%$5.” The Rabbi replied “I see you have become one of them.” I thought what a compelling story to share. There are so many ways to make amends and some times not. But it is always a choice to stoop to their level just as it is a choice for them the CD to lie, cheat/steal and destroy/murder.
Just a thought when thinking about the past I often wonder what about the future? As in sustainability of humanity through environmental impacts on this planet. It will be the character of people that will indeed be something that will determine how we face it when there are dire consequences ahead. People will need to come together as a whole to put in place strategies to combat these environmental impacts that are coming and taking place right now. For the most part I see good people coming out and helping each other in natural disasters etc but as none of us are immune to the impacts of nature and we are faced with a future of more intense weather patterns and natural disasters coming our way, it will be a real test when faced with food and water shortages. Not that I want to go off focus or even be a downer but the moral character of people will never be more important than in the future. Let’s hope we learn from the mistakes of the past to ensure we all survive a world that will be very different indeed.
Been harassed by one too many CDs(even one’s one too many of course lol!) and once almost robbed(complete unrelated stranger) and had to endure a disordered neighbor(thank the Universe I could afford to f**king move!) and I tune in at times, since you understand these idiots even better than me!
But, sorry that I sound so self-centered and such, but bad luck’s gotta be haunting me lately, with so many things jumping at me online. Can’t name where, don’t remember, but seen some of you post here like there was some drama going on here and meditation had something to do with it(?).
Could someone explain what that’s all about?
Hey, Kyle, good you’re out of that a******s reach! It’s awful being harassed and getting robbed must be a damn jolt, too. But you sound like you can start over. Great!
I’m not the best person to say, but I can say I’ve read this blog for almost a year now. I’ve only read the comment sections sporadically. But that sounds odd what you say. You sure you couldn’t have been mistaken? Confusing for another forum or blog perhaps? I noticed some strange anti-meditation post once at the top of some comment section and it refered to some Amazon reviews and on the other hand I’ve seen some quite pro-meditation posts and one that stated that meditation is better off simple and without excess rituals(?). Don’t know more, though.
But meditation’s okay, if that’s what you’re worried about. I do simple mindfulness meditation. I need no other.
Have a great new start, Kyle!
Sorry, Kyle, I may not be clear here.
There are many forms of meditation. I only do mindfulness meditation myself. Some like other forms of meditation, like to experiment or use many forms. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
But if you’re worried about meditation, it pays to do your own research. I’ve heard is that if you have repressed material, it may start coming up in meditation.
Maybe it would help to keep in mind that just like anywhere else, people here have OPINIONS, sometimes stark ones. What I just said I saw were in isolation and I’m not sure where they came from. Perhaps the “drama” you refer to could be some conflict of opinions? Sometimes it can go right into debating, though no one intended it at the outset.
Well, see what works for you. 😀
You shouldn’t let it bother you, really.
I’ve seen many posts on meditation here, too. Some are pro, some anti, sometimes by the same commenters. What gives?
Apparently there was something like you said, Jenna, some conflict of opinions that got way out of hand. I’ve read many posts indicating several different views on that, so not sure what to make of it, but took a look at the dates. Seems to be over long ago.
Interestingly, Dr Simon said he’s going to “do some editing of the content I [sic] thought unnecessarily (That’s the key word here: unnecessarily) crossed some lines or at least came dangerously close to crossing some lines while also making some decent points, just in case those comments inspire future backlash”. That should say a lot right there clear as day!
There’s no one alive without any personal life history, based on which we form opinions. When people with strong opinions get together, there’s potential for conflict and other things. And I even found an old article By Dr Simon from Counsellingresource about conflicts like that.
Happy Birthday USA. I love this country.
I wasn’t quite four yet and I had been drugged it was dark and someone was carrying me.
I was born in a country in revolution to revolutionary parents who had fought to oust a dictator and a return to our constitution. Instead another had stepped in worse than the last.
I lifted my head from the shoulder it was laying on I could see my mother now she was on the back of a mule with my younger brother in her arms (BTW..my brothers name is Jesus) my father leading the mule along the path we followed. I was in my uncles arms my older brother walking along with other men I did not know. I dozed again. When my eyes opened next we were by the water the men moving aside some vegetation and pulling on some ropes. Slowly a row boat came up out of the water. I did not want to get into the boat it had sunken once I had seen it come up from under the water. I was frightened. Once my mother had been settled into the boat along with my older brother and my younger brother I was handed over to her. The men moved in the water along side the boat weapons held over their heads. Everyone silent. We reached a larger boat and were moved on to it.
I lay in the back of the boat my younger brother next to me. When I wake up again my mother is crouching over us she has a tarp in her hands and is going to cover my brother and I. I look up at my mother her beautiful brown eyes look enormous and as she sees me look at her she brings a finger to her lips and whispers…shh if they catch us they will kill us. I believed my mother I trusted my mother. I don’t make a sound. She lays with us, suddenly the boat roars to life and we are off, we are being chased the boat is flying bouncing off the waves. Bam Bam Bam I can feel the boat hit the water and the reassurance of my mothers weight over my brother and I.
The next morning I eat pancakes for the first time.
I hope you all enjoyed my readers digest version of my families flight to freedom.
Loosing a home to tyranny has a way of making you appreciate freedom and the country willing to take you in to live it.
Welcome to the USA!
You are free now!
Hi E, Welcome to America!
I am trying to figure out what country you came from. If you arrived by boat in the last twenty years, chances are you spent some time in a detention center for illegal aliens in Florida. Happy you made it but am very curious about the details, as ‘immigration’ for so many of the world’s poor, into just about any developed nation effectively criminalizes them.
I am older than that. I arrived in January of 1964 from communist Cuba. I remember my story and learned other pieces from the adults and then learned more of it a few years ago when showing someone(ironically a refugee) how cool the internet is……I typed in my fathers name and declassified Kennedy area CIA documents popped up.
I still have not solved the mystery of what actually happened to my father after he disapered on a mission in December of 1964. It did have some impact on one of the CIA Castro assassination plots though from what I have been able to determine without requesting additional freedom of information docs. Someday I will get around to it God willing.
You asked me about a differentiation I made between narcissistic or cd taking offense and acting vindictively — out of a sense of outrage springing from a perceived assault –usually on their ego. I mentioned too that a normal person who is embittered and rightfully outraged can act or
It might not meet the pristine standards of being a highly evolved spiritual being, nevertheless; to desire an evening of scores for those who enjoy ruining others, is human and may even create some social balance if it is meted out fairly. The criminal justice system is based around it. I am wary of passivism being considered an absolute virtue. Not here in this world, not now, maybe not ever.
Not sure what I even meant(lol), but thanks!
It’s that I’ve seen normal people mishandle their anger(when a reason AIN’T like getting victimized big time) and hold on to it. You know? Let it go, it’s said. But when people don’t do that, things can drag on and fester and it sucks, it sucks so much. Nothing resolved. I’ve felt some subtle tensions between people and it’s unpleasant. Many ways it can go from there.
Jenna and Timothy there kinda confirmed what I knew already, that there can even be some damn heated conflicts of opinion, when those differences jump more and more at the eyes.
But some people go around throwing s**t. Live in peace and let me live in peace, alright?! But no, I want my jollies, I can do whatever I want. -sigh-
But: “to desire an evening of scores for those who enjoy ruining others, is human and may even create some social balance if it is meted out fairly. The criminal justice system is based around it. I am wary of passivism being considered an absolute virtue. Not here in this world, not now, maybe not ever.”
Rings true, you know? Someone else said already you could be a writer. I agree.
I think ‘Normals’ can get lost in intricately woven petty back and forth ‘battles’ that symbolize what is felt to be a tearing of their ego fabric. The more elaborate and lacy the petty battle becomes, the more unravelling or tearing is happening in the fabric of their core person. Nobody wins in these battles. What is torn apart is reconstituted in filigreed disputes. To get to the heart if the matter, one has to ditch the petty abstractions and try to shore themselves and their adversaries back up. Make others whole while making self whole. Hard hard work. But normals CAN do it, because their intent is towards unity.
Oh … And thank you for lovely compliment about writing! That’s so lovely and helpful to hear!
“It might not meet the pristine standards of being a highly evolved spiritual being”
Interestingly this reminds me of something I read a while back in a book called Rude Awakening I borrowed from a friend(if I remember the right book). Somewhere it says to drop meditation(that’s been coming up a lot here lately, but never mind) if there’s an attachment to being a “spiritual person”. So one can be sufficiently spiritual without being “attached” to it? Or does this fall outside usual discussion?
I’d like to know more about this book. I will do a search for it. Meditation is a relaxation technique. It doesn’t necessarily confer higher moral values or behaviour on those who practise it. If a person’s character flaws are based around tension and anxiety, deep relaxation could provide them with relief and still the mind enough to gain some clarity. But I take issue with the interpretation many have on the issue of detachment. There are myriad interpretations and misreads of this philosophy. We live in a culture where the primacy of the individual and a glorification of self is already a problem. A misread of ‘detachment from desire’ as detachment from others isn’t always helpful. Human relationships are a mess and we have to mindfully try to clean them up. And we have to try to do it lovingly!
Hi LisaO, I think you understand where I am at. I think you explained things rather well. We all have a different but similar walks. That’s where I refer to our attachment as kindred spirits. I just enjoyed several hours of deep relaxation, how refreshing and I was hurting.. I can only express my walk and experience. To push others to my point of view other than to express it is wrong and I believe that is what Dr. Simon was telling us. I think there is a positive note of expression of give and take here, good banter so to speak and in that a deeper acceptance and understanding of our encounter with the CD. And yes human relationships are a mess, the right thing is to clean them up lovingly. Very beautiful LisaO and blessings.
Blessings to you, dear Btov. Here we find ourselves on the same page after wondering if we were even in the same library! Praying for many more pain free days for you! Hugs–Lisa
This is a crrrrrazy story!! I just watched this on the Discocery ID channel. Just unreal.
Valedictorian in high school
Honorable discharge from the Marines
American chemical society award for the best chemistry student in the entire country.
Resident at OSU in neuro surgery
Dr Michael Swango
Uh huh!! The mother connection!
“Upon his return from Vietnam, Swango’s father became depressed and was divorced by Muriel. Growing up, Swango saw little of his father and as a result, was closest to his mother.”
Hi, guys! I’ve been missing all my buddies. Puddle, happy to see your name, hope that means things are settling down a bit
Just wanted to chime in on part of the conversation. For me, the blender analogy is spot on. And why I will be forever grateful to my peeps on this site. I was able to start putting the pieces together, finally beginning to understand this crazy making diabolical lunacy. That someone who “loved” you could be cruel intentionally. The words purposeful, extreme, delight in causing pain, are how a CD operates and is their true self. It’s not the fake nice guy who comes so you think he cares, that part is the intermission. Then as I looked at the behaviors from that perspective, so many things from the past made sense, so many lies, so much cruelty, 35 years of it. Then after we separated, the evil ramped up to epic proportions, not even caring about the sheer pain he caused his own kids, only this rabid mission to make me suffer. The more the merrier. While we were married I don’t think his intent was always pay back. Smashing the joy I had for something just because he could was part of his MO. So mean spirited.
I have some sadness about a marriage that didn’t work, but no more feelings of any sort for him, it’s like he vaporized. The butterfly is here now, dang that feels good!
Lulu!!!! Hi there! Hope you are doing well, you sound like it, and hanging in there. Your name here always makes me smile!
I’m not liking this new format at all. Not sure what happened?
Ditto and ditto. Love seeing you’ve been hanging around! Same here about new format.
Same here, absolutely do not like the new format. It was nice to be able to respond in kind to questions and answers between posters.
New format is fine. I am using normal standard monitor, not a mobile device. It is better as indentation between reply is less now, so reply to a reply to a reply will have more real-estate on the screen. One downside (major one I think) is still there, on my wide screen 23 inch monitor, the first reply still occupies less than 40% width of the screen.
I miss the listing of the dates of the topics. Also, if someone posts in the middle of a topic its difficult to find it or even know if one has been posted..
Forgive me if this was mentioned above. I am not a religious person, but I see Pope Francis as a world leader and even a political figure to all peoples whether they be catholic, atheist, jewish, etc.
I was encouraged by his political courage in his recent encyclical. In which he said he wanted to provide “cover” for politicians who lack the courage to speak out on climate change, or how technology has started to eclipse our humanity in several areas of our lives.
I’m also encouraged by the popularity of TED talk phenom and social worker/researcher Brene Brown, who said our inhibitions from expressing empathy openly is harming our society and ourselves. Her delivery packages this message in a way that moves the listener to shift internally within themselves toward a more “daring greatly” approach to character.
What I love about America and a world citizenry is no matter what, we each have to ask what we can do to influence the tide, the trends in decency, to influence our own heart.
I am only in my 40’s but I have seen a lot of change in my lifetime. And history indeed does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme. And the way I describe it is it zigs forward for one leap then zags forward in a different course-correcting direction.
In case things turn around for the better — and they often do turn around in unexpected ways — practice soundness of character. Do it for yourself and for your loved ones and for your neighbors.