Christmas Eve, 2014
I must confess, the cold, gray days of winter are my least favorite. I’ve always been prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), so the short, often sun-obscured days can really get me down at times. But the weeks around Christmas and New Year’s provide a remarkable reprieve from my usual winter blues, mostly because of the spirit these holidays inevitably engender.
Christmas is the time Christians commemorate the birth of Jesus and the message of hope, joy, and love he came to bring to those of open heart and “good will.” His message is profoundly simple, but our nature and the character of the world we’ve fashioned for ourselves being what they are, it’s a most difficult one to fully and firmly embrace. And it’s a message that can be all-too-easily forgotten (even abandoned altogether) when circumstances put our faith to the test (which is why I felt inspired to write The Judas Syndrome). So I pray that this Christmas, those of us who claim to be followers of the Christ will take time to remember and reflect upon his promise and his prescription for making that promise a reality: There will be peace on earth when each of us loves the author of life with our whole mind, heart, and strength and demonstrate that love by the manner in which we treat ourselves and others.
Many of us depart from our daily Scrooge-like ways to love just a little better over the holidays, and doing so inevitably brings us joy and for a time makes the world a better place. But it doesn’t take long for us to get back to business as usual. So here’s my Christmas wish for those who profess to believe: Let’s go beyond merely advocating for putting Christ back into Christmas. Rather, let us – each and every one of us – (and I know this necessarily means starting with me) “prepare room” in our hearts for him and his message, thereby making each and every day a celebration of his coming, and giving us the inspiration and courage to bring the joy of his promise into the lives of everyone we touch.
Merry Christmas
Thank you Dr. Simon. I have been dreading the “family get-together”tomorrow and this helps me remember what it is all about that even in my lowest times I can have hope in his promise. That I am loved by Him and am commissioned to spread that love to others all year long
Merry Christmas!
Thank you, i have a narcissistic mother of the worst kind, i haven’t spoken to her for 10 years, she has turned people against me and has brainwashed my adult children, she’d been grooming them for years. i was the scapegoat, had the blame for everything, even when she knew it was someon else’s fault. she thinks iv’e had a terrible xmas crying on my own. when iv’e been amongst people in a similar situation as myself we ended up all having a good xmas, i don’t live anywhere near NM.and wev’e all acrtally had a good xmas, for 10 years no one has believed me.it’s my word against her’s, either i’m lying or NM is and i;m certainly not lying, she’s fooling my family, their father/granfather has to go along with her she seduced him and he ended up with her one night when he was drunk,they know i know. but that’s the NM she is always the instigater.she is fooling the whole town, the police in several different towns and two cities, but i will never give up. there were also two family members been murdered, my children and grandchildren are in the hands of murderers. and so is everyone else, NM is very clever maniipulatelt, but i’m very clever intelligently, NM isn’t thinking of that, GOD HAS BEEN WITH ME EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, God has led me here sending you this message,i have been wanting to message you for spme time, i was stronglY advised to read your book. “wolves in sheep’s clothing! i haven’t got round to it yet but that book will be next on my list, i’m aso writing a book it’s called “Either i’m mad or my Mothers a Murderer” certain people are trying to make it difficult for me to write it.i am going through a stage were i’m starting to feel sorry for her, what a sad miserable life she must have had to focus on destroying mine, she has stepped into my shoes and has everything and everyone i ever had. how sad is that! I sincerly wish you and your family a very happy new year.
Suzanna…………wow. What a nightmare. You sound really strong and very aware and It’s great that you stay away from your NM. Terribly toxic. My mother was in her own way,,,,,different than yours but still very toxic and I can relate to some of what you are saying about feeling sorry for her. I have sadness for my mother too, it’s just another layer to the whole situation. It’s hard for me to understand HOW I can have sadness for her but i do. She was not malevolent really but just VERY narcissistic and an only child who got everything she wanted. It threw her for a loop when she tried to raise two children who just couldn’t be moulded (for two different reasons). She didn’t handle it well!
In spite of it all I actually miss her at times.
Wow, I am amazed at all you have been through. You seem like a very strong person, keep going. Maybe one day your children will come around. I am very happy that you have the strength of God working in you. I know for me, some days it is truly the ONLY thing that gets me through.
I too grew up with a narcissistic mother, but I am fortunate enough that she is not such an extreme as yours, I was also very blessed to have a kind and caring father that was there for me when I needed him.
The losing of you children is very difficult, it is something I greatly fear. Me with my CA hubby since 1991, and my greatest fear that when/if the time comes for me to go he will turn my 3 children against me. There have been times when he has lied or done something to hurt me that my children happened to be present for or find out about. When they ask to talk about it, by the end of the conversation, (he is so good at “playing the victim”, twisting things, crying and looking SO sorry, giving “reasonable” explanation, vowing how much he loves me, this family, insinuating that I’m being unreasonable, etc.) by the end of the conversation, they are patting him on the back, comforting him, telling him it’s okay “everyone makes mistakes and I’ll forgive him eventually”; he is so willing to lie to them, and he knows I won’t lie about him, or run him down to the kids, besides some of the things I would try to say about our relationship actually sound so ridiculous they would seem made up. He has a really good way of turning others against me and end up feeling sorry for him instead. He has already subtly turned his family against me, he has put a wedge between me and my family, I could not bear to lose my kids.
I am encouraged by your strength, and pray that you continue on, something that helps me through some of those really bad times, is to remind myself, somehow, God will make something good come out of this.
Thank you Dr. Simon for all your work and dedication to helping us understand and cope with the covert aggressive and other people in our lives. I hope you and your family are well and able to enjoy a wonderful holiday.
We’re so grateful to you for everything. This holiday I am spending with friends rather than the dysfunctional family (easier for me than for others since I don’t live in the same city).
All the best to you and your family.
GG
Dear Dr. Simon, That is a beautiful post and also thought provoking and inspiring.
I wish you and your family all the hope for a brighter future that you have so generously given to all of us.
Puddle
Merry Christmas Dr Simon I hope you and your family have a wonderful time and thank you for all you do in helping people move forward with their lives and to become better citizens. Best Wishes to all!
Dr. Simon,
Just as you say: “His message is profoundly simple “ Knock and He will answer.
Take Christ out of Christmas, and December becomes the bleakest and most colorless month of the year. Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day.
All your written words are truly a precious gift. So full of encouragement, wisdom and strength. The more I learn and understand the better able I am to stand firm and weather the storms. The fog can get mighty heavy at times. Although I keep trying to do my best then leave the rest up to God.
I see your light shining. It’s a steadfast guiding beacon. God Bless You.
Thank you ever so much and with my deepest respect and appreciation for all that you graciously share and give.
And a very Merry Christmas to you and your family.
With my very best wishes.
Suzi
Amen!
This insidious character disorder is so evil. With all I have gone through he is the one that is spiritually, and morally bankrupt. I found an immense relief in my whole life and being by forgiving him through prayer. I pray that the Lord will send what is ever is needed for all of these people to be knocked off their high horse and realize the Emperor has no Clothes and find humility, the same humility I gleaned that saved me from the same hateful, vengeful individual they are.
Gods blessing to us was born in a manger, so simple indeed. This is such an amazing site, so simple without all the Psycho babble and acknowledges the main missing component is Christ.
Blessings to all and peace
jaycee
Witnessing and seeing such darkness I have turned to the light of Christ for comfort and the blessed books and website of Dr. Simon’s bringing knowledge and peace to the weary.
When all this is behind me I will continue to remember your Christmas Wish.
Hello Dr. Simon — As the people who have already responded here have stated so eloquently, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, please take good care of yourself and be well, make sure you get enough rest. We all need your insight and wisdom. Best wishes from Elva
Re-posting.
I’ve been critisizing transcendental meditation cult here, but the tecnique itself works.
Please, try this. It’s free here. You needn’t pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for a simple technique. I hope you enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-BWIHcUN5c&index=21&list=LLmVgdEBsp-Gfe03rCLH-d_A
Hi J — the link you posted is not available in the U.S. due to some copyright dispute. Thanks for trying though! Peace and hope from Elva
Not available? Here it shows just fine, so it’s funny that the TM-cult would sue over the coypright there but not here. At least that’s what I think could be happening.
Basically, you pick a word to repeat in your mind. You don’t try to control your thoughts, you just gently return your attention to your chosen mantra. No forcing, just gently returning it.
Of course, if you start experiencing adverse effects, stop at once.
Dr. Simon, I think this is maybe the most influential Christmas message I have received this year. I am grateful for your work and example. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year .
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And may God Bless us everyone!