America My Home is an inspirational patriotic song based on a premise: Freedom and character are interdependent. Each one of us has the responsibility to keep the dream of freedom alive. No law can really protect us or help us thrive – only character.
An unfortunate number of folks bring all sorts of pain into their lives because they neither love themselves enough nor know how to love themselves properly. But self-love can be pathological, too, which is what the narcissism spectrum is all about.
Recovering from gaslighting effects and regaining one’s sanity after an abusive relationship isn’t easy. Victims frequently mistrust themselves and worry about making the same relationship mistakes again. And getting the wrong kind of help can easily re-traumatize. Empowerment begins with understanding what really happened and why.
When we try too hard to understand we inadvertently revoke the power we have. Understanding can’t itself empower. Taking action empowers.
Manipulative abusers are good at casting themselves as victims and vilifying the true victim. And they can make you wonder if they don’t really see things that way. But their tactics are just another way to avoid responsibility and take advantage of you.
You know that when someone continues tries to trivialize matters, they’re not taking seriously the problems they need to correct.
Manipulators and other disturbed characters are adept at playing the blame game. But when someone makes the injurious choice, it’s strictly on them. Thy may point the finger elsewhere and try to justify. But you empower yourself when you refuse to take on someone else’s rightful burden.
Rationalizing, or excuse making, is a manipulation tactic. The strategy is simple: get someone to buy into your “explanations,” and your behavior takes on a whole different light. Your intentions look less sinister. And you don’t look so bad in character. Wow! Do bad things, and look good doing them! Now, that’s quite a feat!
Manipulators like engaging in evasion and diversion because these tactics keep the spotlight off their behavior. There artful dance around the issues can help them stay one step ahead of you. That’s why it’s so important to confront their tactics head-on.
Some people fight in very surreptitious ways. The covert maneuvers they employ are effective. They throw others on the defensive while cloaking aggressive intent. You might suspect something is up but end up doubting yourself. You might even question your sanity. To restore your sanity you have to trust your gut.